I'm so ashamed of myself
I'm currently 35 weeks, diagnosed for about 10 weeks and things have been going really well. Very few spikes after meals, no elevated fasting sugars, baby doing great! Physically, everything's fine, but I do struggle mentally sometimes, and today I just snapped, I guess.
While I was eating my healthy-ish yoghurt bowl (yoghurt, oats, almond butter, strawberries, and a tiny bit of granola), my partner was eating a bowl of sugary cereal with milk. I decided that if i felt like it after he left for work, I would eat a small portion of the same to satisfy the craving.
He left and after being frustrated about my slightly elevated post meal glucose (141), I sat down and had a gigantic bowl of chocolatey cereal and whole milk. Usually, when I eat cereal, I just keep pouring and pouring and pouring until I'm completely stuffed and I have no idea how much I've eaten, which is why I've totally banned cereal during this pregnancy, I just have no self control. Afterwards, I got up, went to the bathroom, and made myself throw it all up. All of it. It was a lot.
I'm so embarrassed right now, I've never had the healthiest relationship with food, but I never made myself throw up after a meal on purpose. I absolutely hate puking (first trimester was HELL), usually when I'm worried about an unhealthy meal, I try to balance it out with movement and better meals the rest of the day.
I just felt so bad after eating (physically and emotionally), I had to get rid of it. Not quite sure what I'm expecting with this post, just needed to tell someone 'cause I'm not sure I can tell my boyfriend about this.