u/skyboxvian

all i was doing was trying to get to fucking work. i dont even know how the hell they could somehow get my plate out of this angle but they somehow matched me to it and it isnt even my car!! it's a loaner i drive for my company 😓 cant fucking believe this now i have to pay $250 ON TOP of the fees im getting shafted with out of my paychecks. fuck my life

Comedy Corps Industries Incorporated has recently acquired a Canis Kalahari for "scouting and reconnaissance." Please note; the only employees currently whitelisted to drive the company Kalahari are Safari Scouts. If you are a normal agent (eg. part-time) please visit your local Comedy Corps Equipment Station for a separate vehicle intended for one-time contract operation use only.

Please note: Any infractions collected while using a company vehicle and/or company property will be reflected and processed on the next and most immediate payroll check. (eg. Running a red light and causing a traffic camera to go off).

We thank our scouts for their cooperation in practicing safe driving habits. We implore distracted scouts to stop texting and driving.

In recent developments from the Comedy Corps Research team, we've established a "Safari" uniform for the newly designated "Safari" units that get dispatched for patrol and scouting. Make no mistake! It may look like an ordinary outfit ripped from the closets of poachers and ivory traders, but our agents can be assured that our newly developed "Giggleproof Vest" will keep Comedy Corps Safari Scouts safe from street dangers such as "the knife" or "the bullet" (so long as they do not aim for their face). This is a unisex outfit intended for easy movement and comfortability in hot and dry climates while also being sufficient for fashion-demanding environments.

We thank our scouts in advanced for their cooperation and willingness to wear skirts and dresses. We implore reluctant scouts to consider our health benefits.