u/sladeisrobin

I wasn't expecting to post again so soon but here we are.

A brief TLDR of my last post. My mom wants me to visit my schizophrenic brother who is in jail for trying to murder my dad. I, reasonably, have very mixed feelings about my brother and don't want to go.

Well, recently we were talking on the phone, and she brought on the topic again. Most of the time I just try to ignore it and change the subject. But this time she said something and I started talking. I remember telling her that for a long time he had done a lot of stuff I was angry about (meaning before his schizophrenia began). She said, that well he was sick, and that my father was also well aware of that fact. I'm not sure if at this point we started talking specifically about my dad, but she said something related to how my dad has kind of let go of himself. And I was like, yeah, it is kind of like, I don't know, he's been through a lot. My mother then said that, actually, she thought he went through a lot more in this other incident. Referring to the time my dad (who was a cop) was involved in a shootout, lost his leg and had to spend 6 months in the hospital. And I was like, well, I think that having your own son try to kill you is also pretty fricking tough. For me, the problem came when my mother said, "Well, if your father had stopped working like he said he would, to take care of your brother." This is something she has said to me multiple times before. And honestly, I kind of just had it and replied, "Then why didn't you do that?" She proceeded to tell me how she could not stop working (my dad can retire, she can't), etc. As she was explaining, my dad called me, so I told her to stay in line so I could pick up my dad's call and get back to her. When I finished with my dad, she had already hung up. Tried calling her 2 times but she didn't answer. I was already suspecting she was mad.

Today my dad had to go to Walmart. Mom has constantly told me how much she has to spend on stuff for my brother, so I wanted to tell my dad to buy some of his stuff. Is his son too, after all. Well, she didn't pick up any of my 4 calls, or read any messages. I had to text her boyfriend if she could please call me. She didn't. She sent me a message saying I didn't need to since she had her money from work. She also told me and I quote "the comment from the other day, that if I had stopped working and had taken care of your brother, nothing would have happened and that I was to blame for what happened broke my heart. Nothing that happened is easy for me. I'll take my time to get over how I feel".

I'm confused. At what point did I tell her it was her fault? I made my comment because if the solution was to take care of him 24/7 why didn't she just do it herself? Maybe because it's a lot easier said than done?

I wrote her a lengthy comment back about how I never said that I blamed her for what happened. How she's the one insinuating it is my dad's fault for not quitting when we don't even know if that would have changed anything (in my opinion, I would have just lead to my brother trying to do it sooner). I also reminded her that a lot happened even when we were partially taking care of him, things she didn't have to deal with. And that I wouldn't blame any of my parents because it's a mental illness condition nobody asked for.

I can surely say that I know my mother blames herself for his current situation. That she wonders what she did wrong. She probably thinks that if she had been there it would have been different. I don't think so though.

I'm very disappointed and frustrated right now. I would never have thought she would think I would accuse her of such a thing. I also feel like I don't have anyone in my family on my side. My dad and grandmother were very soft on my brother, enabling him. I feel like my mom is on that side too. But I'm standing my ground, I don't feel like I said anything wrong, and I don't think it is fair for her to keep saying that about my dad given what he went through and how hard and complicated taking care of a mentally ill patient is. Heck, I don't think it is even fair to her, clinging to the hope of something that will never happen because it can't be undone.

Again, thank you for reading me. Sorry for venting so much. Although we are all in a horrible situation, it is nice to have someone understand you and relate to.

As the title says, my mother wants me to visit my schizophrenic brother in jail. He is in jail because he stabbed my dad 12 times (my dad thankfully is alive).

Since middle school, my brother had been taking drugs and giving problems. He was sneaking out of the house (he even broke his window once to do so), stealing my money, stealing from neighbors, fighting at school, etc. At some point my mother argued with him and at that moment she realized he could easily overpower her. This is when my mother moved out and my dad moved in with me and my brother (they are divorced).

Around when he was 18 years old, he went into a psychotic episode. After that, it all went downhill. He was in and out of psych centers. When his episodes were really bad, he would get violent against my dad. I watched many times as they fought, like physically. He would yell, throw stuff at him, spit.

I think one of my saddest memories was hearing my dad shouting because my brother broke his new prosthetic leg. He literally smashed it to pieces while no one was home.

And the nail to the coffin, as I said previously, he tried to kill my dad. Now he is in jail, but he is not stable enough to face trial. My mom has been visiting when he allows her (turns her away from time to time). She says he looks like he's empty. That she mentions me, and he gets happy, so she wants me to visit. He only lets my mom and I visit.

I know my brother is sick. But I feel like I have been through so much because of him that it is hard to go and see him and act like nothing because he got his diagnosis.

I wanted to vent here because I felt like maybe somebody would understand me. I feel like after he stabbed my dad everyone wants me to start new with him since this is "so hard on him" and he's "worse than before."

Again, I know he has his condition. I also know I blame him for many things and I should work through it.

I guess aside from venting, I would appreciate any advice or guidance through these feelings/thoughts.

Edit: Thank you for all the comments. At one point, I felt like I was in the wrong and nobody was getting my side of the story. Maybe I was selfish. But here you have made me feel understood. Thank you for sharing with me, and I'm sorry for what you have to go through. I hope you can all stay strong and have peace.

Hi guys. I have been working for 5 years in a practice as an optician. I have been wanting to switch to a lab and I think I might finally get the chance. But I'm feeling pretty anxious because I feel like I don't know much in that area. I live in Puerto Rico, where you have to get an associate's degree to be an optician. I did cut some lenses, but that was a long ago. Would you guys have any tips or advice? 

I was falling asleep when I heard my cats playing with something. I was sleepy and didn't think much of it. To my surprise, it was my insulin that I left on the table. Won't be doing that again. Almost cried. It's my only vial, and I'm having issues with insurance. I have some emergency money so it will be fine, but boy did it hurt to see it broken. I wanted to share it with people who would understand my pain.

​

On another thought, I may have to worry about the fact that my cats may be planning my demise because I gave them food a bit late.

Edit: I was able to get a new insulin vial. Thank you everyone for your tips!