u/slo707

For context I am both greyace and demiromantic. I’m also ambiamorous and have only dated polyamorous people in the last 5 years (although no one in the last 3 as in in a very ace place). Due to my romantic orientation, romantic movies and books often make me feel uncomfortable. They have since I was a child, for as long as I can remember.

I’m worried about feeling completely detached from the subjects discussed in this book. I also fear going into discussions where I need to go into my sexual and romantic orientations to participate fully. Idk I guess I feel like the book will make me feel alienated?

Lastly, I’m a bit worried about her use of the word female in the title. I’m cisgendered but there are several genderqueer or trans people in the group and I can’t discern if she speaks only to cisgendered women (which I don’t like)

Has anyone read it or have thoughts about the author? Is this for us? I know that Bell Hooks is read in polyamory circles so I’m hopeful that her view of love and relationships is expansive.

Do I deadhead these? Leave them alone? It’s a new plant and I can’t fit a good care guide online. It’s a Eriophyllum lanatum ‘siskiyou’

I harvested my first pepper but noticed that the end was already wrinkly and soft. They are orange snacking peppers and there is still a bit of green on it, so I am surprised. I have never successfully grown peppers before, and I’m wondering if I’m supposed to harvest sooner and let them ripen on my counter to prevent this. They are a variety from Johnny’s Selected Seeds. Please give me your advice!

About a month ago? I noticed the base of my butterstick squash had cracked and ran to this forum to ask for advice. Based on my location and the plant’s health, together we deduced that the stem had cracked due to rapid growth. A couple people advised me to try to bury to cracked part rather than use gardening tape to mend it.

I am happy to report that there is now a second stem growing from the portion I had buried which is flowering. There are fruits growing there but I don’t know if those will actually thrive. I am mostly excited to have more female flowers as this is my only plant. Next year I’ll plant two for better pollination.

That being said the plant itself has given me at least 5 squash already and there are so many yet to be harvested (8 currently growing with 2 ready to harvest today). I swear it’s self pollinating somehow. Not one fruit has shriveled up and died and that doesn’t even make sense. I am a very unskilled home gardener so I am enjoying this win. Ignore the red cage I honestly don’t know what I was trying to achieve with that

Hello,

I see some webs and little black blobs on my stunted borage… no sign of whatever is making the webs. If the borage is infested with a pest I want to pull it to keep my (thriving) squash is safe. On the other hand if a predator is making the webs I’m seeing and is efficiently hunting and killing pests naturally I don’t actually want to mess up a beneficial situation. I’d like opinions.

Is the borage attracting whatever the spider is hunting and should it go to spare my squash or should I leave things be. A third option is a Castile soap/Neem mix.

I’m gardening in limited space and have one summer squash in the ground. It’s by far the happiest plant in the garden and I wanted to share! It’s the first thing I’ve grown really well.

I live on the west coast in zone 9a in an area where a lot of the nasty squash pests aren’t really an issue. The soil sucks but I really prepped the dirt well by adding a ton of amendment with lots of fine bark in it. I added gypsum and a few site specific amendments, adjusted the ph a bit and put a huge olla in the ground. I used a gopher basket around it, and put compost on top of the mound outside the basket perimeter. I haven’t fed it since, aside from a misting or two with kelp. I just add water to the olla. There’s a borage by it that’s doing poorly and you can’t even see. Also some yong thyme and some half dead lavender in pots nearby.

I did notice ants at the blossoms yesterday so I did an insecticidal soap mist and put down some diatomaceous earth. I cut away a few of the lower branches to allow the squash to have room to grow as needed then mulch with them. Training the leaves up helps me easily spot eggs or pests (so far so good). Because these are so successful here I’ll likely do more next year. I love lemon squash flatbread!

Last night a deer came up onto my front porch and ate my CA fuchsia. I’m very surprised because he/she ignored an entire field of sunflower seedlings to get to it. The variety is Hollywood Flame. It was a new addition and had been doing great in its pot after transplanting last month. It had really grown a ton. I loved that thing. There isn’t much left but I’m wondering if it will recover. I’ve moved it onto my back patio for now.

Last night a deer came up onto my front porch and ate my CA fuchsia. I’m very surprised because he/she ignored an entire field of sunflower seedlings to get to it. The variety is Hollywood Flame. It was a new addition and had been doing great in its pot after transplanting last month. It had really grown a ton. I loved that thing. There isn’t much left but I’m wondering if it will recover. I’ve moved it onto my back patio for now.

Is it too late to transplant more?

I’m so upset. They were Brandywine’s. Zone 9a in Sonoma County. They also ate a petunia, grabbed and spat out a sweet alyssum, and decimated a brand new CA fuschia (which they aren’t even supposed to like). The loss of the tomatoes and the fuchsia really stings.

The tomatoes are the only thing not behind a fence. I had planted an entire sunflower field as a deterrent/barrier/decoy and I live on an orchard. The deer had plenty to eat. There are vineyards and lots of natives that provide food. They totally ignored the tender sunflower seedlings I had planted and just walked on through them to get to my plants. I will need to use wire to create a barrier for the tomatoes in the future. They did not touch that space last year.