u/snacksizedshelb

I miss him just as much as I did that day in April. This morning, I held Niko and just cried.
Missing King hasn’t gotten easier. It just hurts a little less than it did before.

There are days now when 5 p.m. rolls around and I don’t immediately think, It’s time to give Kingers his meds. Instead, it’s time to feed Niko. Slowly, these new little routines have started taking the place of the ones I had with King for so many years. And sometimes that realization hits me harder than I expect.

I wear a necklace with King’s face on it every single day. Sometimes I catch myself holding it, kissing it, and telling him how much I love him. I don’t think there will ever be a day when I stop finding little ways to talk to him.
In six days, it will already be a month since Taylor and I met Niko for the first time.

I keep thinking about the day before my birthday and how hard I cried. It was going to be my first birthday without King in 15 years, and I remember telling Taylor how utterly defeated I felt.

Little did I know that Niko was about to come into my life.
He hasn’t replaced King. No one ever could. But he has helped me heal in a way I desperately needed. He’s given me somewhere to put all of that love that suddenly had nowhere to go.

And I truly believe King had something to do with bringing him to me. I think somehow he knew
just how badly I needed Niko.

King left a hole in my heart that will always belong to him, but Niko has been slowly mending the pieces back together with golden seams. And somehow, that feels like one last gift from my best boy. 🥺🤍

King Li was my best friend, and my constant companion since I was 18 years old. He passed away very traumatically from a stroke in April and I have been taking his death extremely hard. I’ve cried thousands of tears for my boy. Every day, sometimes multiple times a day I’d just loose myself in my grief. Homesick for my best friend.

This may be controversial to some, but I just couldn’t bear to have him cremated or bury him. I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I decided to have him preserved by Animal Family Pet Preservation in Ohio. Their work is beautiful and I knew they would give King the dignity he deserved.

This summer has been so hot, so instead of shipping King to them, my fiancée Taylor and I decided to take one last roadtrip with Our Boy. When King was still alive, we did so much driving together. Taylor and I lived 300 miles apart before we moved in together, so every weekend I’d pack him up and I’d drive from Iowa to Minnesota with him. We did that every weekend for 6 months before Taylor and I moved in together. It just seemed only fitting we could honor him one last time that way.

The three month anniversary of his passing was July 14. My first birthday without him was the day after, and on Friday, we got up and hit the road from Minnesota and drove from 6:30 am until midnight to Ohio.

The next morning at 10 am we said goodbye to King one last
time. For the first time since his passing I finally felt the smallest semblance of relief.

After King’s passing, Taylor and I had talks from time to time about adopting another Peke. We had firmly decided that we’d consider it if it was a Peke in need of a loving home. We were on the way back home when I noticed one of King’s furs somehow found itself on my drink. It was sticking to the side of the bottle. I don’t know how it got there. King hadn’t been in Taylor’s car in months. We continue to drive, and i see a cloud float by that looked just like him. I’m taking these as signs from King. “I’m okay, momma, I’ll always be with you.”

We’re about 2 hours into our drive when I finally decide to open Facebook for the first time that day, and posted not 20 minutes prior was someone looking to rehome their albino Peke.

I’ve always thought albino Pekes have such a unique look to them and have wanted one for years. And there one was, needing a loving, quiet home where he could get the love he so desperately needed.

I showed Taylor a picture and he said to send her a message immediately. So I did, and the next day we met Niko and he came home with us the following Friday.

Niko’s been home for a week now and has adjusted very well. Very good with going to the bathroom, eating just fine, sleeping through the night (mostly- sometimes I think he has vivid dreams because he’ll bark himself awake but then settle back down)

Niko is very attached to me in particular. He likes Taylor but loves me very much. I know he’s not my Kingy, and will never replace him. But he is a very good boy and I cant help but feel like King guided us to him. I mean, hell, their birthdays are just ONE DAY apart!! How wild is that. Niko is April 1, and King’s is April 2nd. I like to look at it as a little “glimmer” from the universe, and it brings me a lot of comfort.

I didn’t think I’d be capable of opening my heart again so soon, but Niko filled the cracks in it that King Li left with golden seams. Niko Kintsugi. 🤍

Anyways, it’s late, Taylor is snoring beside me and so is Niko at my feet. Good night everyone