u/spidertattootim

My (44m) long term partner (37f) has ADHD (diagnosed last year) and suspected autism. Unfortunately a lot of the behaviours and limitations resulting from ADHD has significantly effected our relationship over the years we've been together, as well as me individually. Anyone familiar with adult ADHD will be familiar with the types of issues that arise.

I'm currently seeing a counsellor where we mainly focus on (trying to) finding practical ways to manage the impact of ADHD on the relationship, avoiding arguments and so on. Unfortunately this doesn't do much for me in terms of immediate emotional relief.

I also read the ADHDpartners sub, and it's helpful to hear of people having similar experiences, though the general tone of the sub is not particularly sympathetic towards the ND partners.

Unfortunately in real life I don't have many close friends around Macc, and I don't generally feel able to discuss our relationship issues with my family, or even with other friends in neuro-divergent relationships.

I am writing this sat in a cafe, physically and emotionally exhausted, after a positive counselling session yesterday afternoon which was eventually followed by a huge meltdown by my partner, right as we were meant to be going to sleep for an early start this morning.

Ultimately I just feel quite sad and very lonely a lot of the time when I think about my situation and see other people's more functional and fulfilling relationships.

I think it would help me a lot if I could speak to other people in real life in similar situations, or even just to connect with support services for ADHD partners. Does anyone know of anything local or in Cheshire / South Manchester?

Alternatively, is anyone in a similar situation who would also feel that they would benefit from mutual support, if I was to set something up?

Very specific question: would it be sensible to drive directly to Gatwick from Cheshire (Macclesfield specifically) for a flight departing at 13.45? It's next Thursday, so a week day and not in school holidays.

We booked a last minute cruise package deal but it turns out the flights aren't very convenient for a trip that was meant to be a cheap, easy week off. We're used to driving about 20 minutes to Manchester airport when we go for lazy beach holidays.

We would aim to be parked up in the north terminal long stay and be at check in for 10.45. Going by Google Maps the drive time at that time of day (plus a safety margin) would mean setting off about 5.30. The route would be M6, M40, M25 anticlockwise.

My other half would prefer to book a hotel near the airport and drive down the night before, but I'm not keen because

- the extra cost

- it would mean the day before would be more hurried, fitting in a seperate drive to kennels to drop the dog off

- I don't really want to spend an additional half a day bumming around near the airport for a short-haul flight to the Med.

The part I'm not confident about is how likely it is that we'll hit traffic and take far longer than Google Maps suggests. If we miss it the flight, we'll miss the cruise departing the same day, in Malta, and that would be that, no holiday.

What would you do?