u/stardew__dreams

 

Hello! Back again after a busy week. I'm actually moving countries soon (haha…it's so fun to pack) and it turns out the best way of procrastinating is reading a terrible book and taking extensive notes on it.

I realised there were a few points I forgot to note last time:

1. Ellie's neighbour gave her some milk "for her cat." We then received a boring lecture from Ellie and JW about how cow's milk is not good for cats. Thanks.
2. When Alice told Ellie her girlfriend was called Wendy, Ellie decided to info dump on the reader about how JM Barrie invented the name Wendy for Peter Pan. Lovely. Very unnecessary and just continues to establish her as an irritating narrator who feels the need to lecture her audience about completely unimportant information.
3. Ellie received roses from an unknown admirer and proceeded to not think about them at all and just display them in her flat. All very normal.

 

In these next 100 pages or so, we get into the nitty-gritty, by which I mean Ellie has a lot of sex, because if you weren't aware (it's easy to forget), this is an adult novel. Strap in.

 

• To continue from where we left off, Ellie is approaching the art museum to meet her old art teacher, Mr Windsor, for a very normal platonic jaunt around to look at paintings and whatever. He's still very attractive and has all his hair. Ellie is still attracted to him yet fails to describe him much beyond this.
• He insists she calls him Gary, which is NOT HIS NAME; HIS CANONICAL NAME IS GUY, and proceeds to quiz her all about her friends, whom he remembers everything about despite last seeing them when he was covering maternity leave 27 years ago. As she tells him about them, Ellie silently judges Nadine, which is one of her favourite hobbies. He also, for some reason, remembers the name of her boyfriend from 27 years ago and enquires about the relationship. All very normal socialising with your old teacher who you presumably only had for a short time.
• They proceed on their jaunt and have further conversation about Art and Art Stuff. He knows all about Myrtle Mouse because he is a Cultured Art Person. He also remembers her "getting very thin" during Girls Under Pressure, though he was new at the time and not present for most of it, appearing for the first time near the end of the book.
• They have such a nice normal time looking at paintings that they then go for a coffee. Ellie tells him their art teacher before him was an old lady with dyed black hair who always wore a knitted suit, and this is FALSE; she was a young teacher who went on maternity leave.
• Ellie has a moment where she thinks of her cat and wonders if it's because she has a "sudden mental image of being naked with Gary and getting stroked all over." Then she tells us she once masturbated to an image like it when she was "discovering how to pleasure herself." I wish I could tell you that sort of thing ends here, but the uncomfortably detailed yet absent sex talk gets much worse. I wouldn't mind so much if JW was good at writing it. She's not. It's like discovering your beloved elderly aunt has discovered a03 and is writing horrific smut.
• Gary and Mrs Henderson were colleague besties who stayed in touch. “We often discussed you three girls because we had no boundaries and an apparent unhealthy interest in our students," says Mr Windsor.
• Gary (I'm going to stop calling him Mr Windsor because…#notmymrwindsor, it's pure character assassination) goes on a ramble about how teaching is complicated now and he does his best not to be alone with students in the art room because of implications or accusations or something. Very Keith Raxberry "I promise I'm not a predator" vibes. Then he asks his former student to go for a drink with him to a pub to get to know each other, proving how much of a non-predator he is.
• For some reason, the drink very quickly leads to kissing. It's all very awkward and out of the blue - you cannot convince me these people have any chemistry. The ex-teacher-student thing is incredibly weird, but they have mutually decided to ignore that fact, so guess the reader will too! They agree to go back to his place, and Gary "calls for an Uber" instead of just ordering one on his phone like a normal person.
• Gary has books at his house, therefore further proving he is Cultured and not like the losers on the train.
• They have sex. I'm not transcribing every weird part of this because I would end up just copy-pasting the entire section. It's badly done and deeply uncomfortable, and I am constantly getting the feeling that JW doesn't feel comfortable writing it either. Ellie thinks of and quotes Mrs Dalloway during it. I wish I was making this up. It's great sex, and she has a great orgasm. Delighted for her. Let's move on.
• Gary apparently makes her feel so very sexy and sensual. He makes her food and hums "I Should Be So Lucky," which must be JW's fav song because it has been mentioned in many books. She thinks about Myrtle Mouse and how she would draw the scene because she has a serious problem. I can't help but feel that good old MM comes across as seriously childish. I cannot for the life of me imagine it as a cartoon strip in the bloody Guardian newspaper and enjoyed by adults.
• She was going to stay the night but finds a tissue with lipstick marks on it in his dressing gown pocket and a packet of tampons in his bathroom. Shock. Horror. She tries to convince herself and us that she's very chill and ok with non-monogamy and casual sex, but I fear Jacky's prudishness leaks through. Ellie can't deal with it and leaves.
• Next morning. Nadine calls and sounds sick! Ellie goes shopping for cold supplies and turns up at Nadine's only to judge her room as "sad and sordid" and then pressing until Nadine shows her her throat is covered in bruises and finger marks, and her nose is swollen. Nadine tells her she was doing consensual choking with a guy who then took it too far, almost choked her to unconsciousness and hit her in the face.
• "If you don't want that sort of thing to happen, then don't sleep casually with random men and explore filthy shameful kinks," Ellie basically judgementally says, and we all move on. Uh…this deserved a lot more sensitivity and exploration than it got. I find it all rather disturbing, and none of this is ever mentioned again. Nadine was assaulted! She could and should file criminal charges! She even says she's sore in other places, implying vaginal trauma and making me wonder about sexual assault. This poor woman. Ellie is too busy thinking about Gary and their great night and her worries about him to care. It's genuinely so grim.
• "I thought of all those polite Uber drivers delivering drunken people home after brief sexual encounters. What must they think of us?" Nothing, Ellie/Jacky. They're doing their job, and they want to go home at the end of the night. They don't care.
• Ellie and Nadine move on from Nadine's horrific night and instead talk about Ellie's and what it all means with Gary. Nadine gives her some advice, and Ellie says "that's what some bossy agony aunt put on Google!" leading me to assume JW thinks Google itself is a website where people post articles or something. They go for a picnic and continue to talk about Ellie and her problems. She's such a great best friend. I criticised Nadine a lot in the original books, but now I want to give the woman a hug. The original books were focused on Ellie, yes, but also contained the other girl's dramas and problems. In this book, they're just there for Ellie to throw her worries at until she feels better.
• "I always wondered if you might be a little bit gay," says Nadine, who is reading my mind for the entirety of Girls out Late. She then laughs at Ellie for being paranoid about Gary seeing other women because men are trash.
• Ellie is obsessed with that fucking mouse to the point where someone has mysteriously left her fancy chocolates, and she briefly considers a Myrtle idea with a secret admirer. But she has no time to worry about that as she must research the elephants! She eats half the box and gives the rest to her random immigrant neighbour who is so very Hardworking and Dedicated, we are told during a rambling narration that lectures us with the subtlety of a wrecking ball. This neighbour is a walking stereotype and will not be important or turn up again.
• The sex with Gary was so good she keeps thinking of it at work, and we are treated to a very unsexy image, "in my head I am stark naked on the bed with Gary, and my legs spread." Still stressing about Gary poss seeing other women but remember Nadine said it isn't an issue hun xx
• She hasn't heard from Alice in a while, but turns out girl had food poisoning. Alice knows all about elephants because she's an animal lecturer or something, and they arrange to meet up swimming on Saturday. She also arranges to see Gary again on Saturday afternoon. I can't wait.
• Ellie further hallucinates about elephants. I'm beginning to think the woman needs psychiatric help.
• Magda calls her at work because she heard about the Hot Sex with Gary from Nadine. She's having a hard time controlling her stepkids. "Please come over on Sunday and make it all better, Ellie!" she says.
• "Yes, of course, and I will regale you with more stories about my life because that's all this friendship is now," I say and hang up. I'm a great friend.
• More elephants. Elephants all the way down. I LIKE elephants, ok, but this is just too much. I'm starting to see them when I close my eyes.
• Small sidenote; have realised JW does not seem to know the usage of the word "like." One of her Jackyisms is to say things such as "I feel a total fool" or "I don't feel a valid interesting person anymore." An aside. I need something to distract me from the bloody elephants, okay.
• There's a sad little piece about Ellie and her mum, who passed away when she was little. Her mum doesn't have a grave, and her dad spread the ashes by himself when she was a child because he decided it would be too upsetting for her, which totally wasn't traumatic and absolutely gave this little girl a sense of closure in her mother's death. He apparently refused to speak to her about her mother, and the appearance of Anna as a stepmother a year later was absolutely harmful to her too. I do not like this man.
• Anna calls, and wow, what a coincidence as we were just dissing him, she's worried about Ellie's dad, who had such a great time at her birthday party but is now depressed :(. Oh no. Anyway.
• My stepmum suggests having a family get-together on Saturday to cheer Dad up and inviting Lottie. I forget who that is until she reminded me she's my daughter I love so much. But woe! I have already made plans with Alice and sexy Gary on Saturday! Sadly I can't go and cheer up my 70-year-old loser dad, who I note still resents Anna's kickass jumper empire.
• Ellie is reading Mrs Dalloway again. This is because she is so Educated and Cultured, don't forget.
• She goes to the swimming pool on Saturday morning as arranged, but Alice isn't there! Ellie is disappointed because she really wanted to ask her about elephants, NO OTHER REASON. Turns out Alice is already in the pool doing laps because swimming is one of her main character traits, the others being Gay and Knows About Elephants.
• Ellie's swimming with a fresh tattoo that's about a week old. Figures. She also failed to note when she took off her big ol bandage. No aftercare, that's for losers. We rawdog infection in this house.
• ILLUSTRATED MUM REFERENCE TAKE A SHOT! Alice describes a book she read as a kid about a woman with two daughters and a lot of tattoos, who paints herself white at the end. Ellie recognises it and said she read it too.
• Alice had the food poisoning because her girlfriend made prawn gumbo that made her sick. This is a subtle hint that Wendy is wrong for her. JW will sprinkle in some more very subtle hints as the story progresses.
• Elephant info dumping, give me strength. I'm beginning to think elephants are just JW's own special interest at this point. Ellie consistently zigzags between an excited autistic eight-year-old with a special interest and a judgemental eighty-year-old with no in between.
• Alice gets Ellie's obscure literature references and makes her own, and that is how we know she is also Cultured and Educated. This is another subtle hint at foreshadowing but I'm not sure you'll catch it.
• Ellie tells us that she and Nadine became friends with Magda in the showers after PE. Um, FALSE, according to the Girls books you became friends with her first because you drew cartoons in class. Ellie gets so much of her own history wrong I'm starting to worry she has early onset dementia.
• "I've made other friends, obviously," and this line has me craning my neck cause I don't SEE THEM.
• Ellie is going to Alice's house to see her elephant stuff :)) She needs the physical pictures and books that Alice has; it's not like she can look at videos of them online or anything. On a further note, I am still in the dark about what this graphic novel of hers will be about. As far as I'm concerned, Ellie has a mental thought bubble for her book that says ELEPHANTS with nothing else branching off it. I'm imagining her in a Dragon's Den style meeting where they ask her to explain her idea, and she just points at the word ELEPHANTS. Take a shot every time I use that word in this post. Let me know if you end up with liver failure.
• There's music stuff in the living room, but it's not Alice's, who doesn't even really like music, apparently. She's probably too busy reading books about elephants. It's all Wendy's stuff because she's a DJ at a nightclub called Catz, spelt with a z so we know it's cool. It's not Alice's scene at all because she is Cultured and Smart.
• Ellie quickly discerns whose books in their bookcase are whose. Wendy likes celebrity books and music while Alice likes fiction and books about nature and animals. This is another very subtle hint that is easily missed.
• Wendy wakes up as they are passionately discussing elephants. She is described as very beautiful and is unashamedly naked until she puts on a robe, which, kudos to her, is such a power move. She loses points because she doesn't know who Myrtle Mouse is. Imagine not knowing Myrtle Mouse, shaking my damn head. She's world famous and all the smart people know her, so clearly Wendy is a stupid loser.
• Wendy makes a joke about Ellie/Nellie the Elephant, insensitive and a bit stupid, but we were all thinking of the rhyme. Then she plays the song downstairs, to which Ellie wonders "where on earth she got that old record." I fear she really does have some kind of brain injury as she has clearly forgotten the simple fact that you can…buy vinyls of popular songs. Alice suggests she might also be streaming it, a possibility that does not occur to Ellie, whose mind would be blown by Spotify.
• As she leaves, Ellie starts imagining a nice, happy domestic life living with Alice, which is possibly the gayest thing she has ever done. It actually made me smile; it was too accurate to the lesbian experience. 13-year-old Ellie was so fruity at times, especially thirsting after Miranda in Girls Out Late, that I am surprised she hasn't had a bisexual awakening yet. She did say she and Nadine messed around a little as teenagers, and the closet is glass.
• Ellie did not like Wendy and yet I would dare to say Wendy was…fine? Jealousy is probably rearing its ugly head, but we also must address that Ellie's narration has proven she is a snob who was never going to like somebody who DJs for a living and doesn't recognise her academic and very very serious mouse cartoon.
• Ellie draws more elephants and adds gay elephants to her canon. Rainbow streamers explode everywhere. She is lost in a world of elephants. They are dragging her off to the psych ward, and she is kicking and screaming about elephants.
• Ellie and Gary are going to another museum on a date because they are such academics; this time the Foundling Museum, which Ellie will info dump on you about. We know Jacky loves the Foundling Museum. I was there once myself. It's great. But we really don't need extensive description from Ellie for a place she spends two pages in. I notice in this book that JW is slipping into old habits and "teaching" her readers, which is often necessary and a bit charming in a kid's book, but comes across as completely condescending in an adult novel. We know what the Foundling Museum is and the history behind it. If we don't, we can Google it. Move on.
• Before she goes to meet Gary for their hot date looking at paintings of sad orphans, she has to have a shower because she thinks she got a bit sweaty "with the shock of seeing Wendy naked." If that's what you need to tell yourself, hun.
• She brings one of the elephant books to read on the train. You know, because she's such an academic. She is coming across as utterly unlikable and a completely dull human being.
• At the good old FM, she is late, which Gary does not like. He continues to mansplain to her about all the exhibits even though she's been there before. He suggests they go for a drink or something, but she wants to get straight down to it and go back to his, because aside from her intense attraction to him and the very great sex, he irritates her.
• Oh no, Ellie gets her period at his just before they get down to it. Despite being a forty-year-old woman, I'm left with the impression of a YA book, and she might as well be 13 again as she awkwardly deals with it. Gary does not have a problem with it; great. Ellie tells us Russell the Sleazeball did have a problem with it, which is unsurprising. We hate him.
• Ellie puts a tampon in, and they then have sex straight afterwards. Uh huh.
• She finally asks about the tampons in his bathroom cabinet, and he tells her he has a friends-with-benefits thing going on with a colleague. When she asks the age of said colleague, he says 23. Sooooo cool and normal and Gary is not weird at all.
• She tells Gary that Magda has been married twice and he continues to be weird by saying "Oh trust Magda, bless her." Excuse me? You knew her as a schoolgirl almost 30 years ago; what are you talking about?
• Ellie goes home to find a weird romantic card with a god-awful rhyme. She was thinking perhaps it's one of her very enthusiastic students, who straight up once said to her, like a normal 16-year-old, "I love your classes so!" but admits that she thinks he could have written better poetry. Hm, who COULD it be?
• She's a bit perturbed about this one and wonders if she should go and stay with Dad and Anna. But gasp, better not tell them why, or Dad will insist on helping her move out of the shitty council flat she insists on staying in!
• She remembers she has a daughter and calls her. Lottie is with her new boyfriend Luke and doesn't really want to talk. Bye Lottie.
• Magda's house! Magda is struggling with the stepkids, Nathaniel and Coriander (who, reminder, is a child, not a herb), or Nat and Corrie for short. Ellie is great with them, of course. Cue unnecessary scenes of child wrangling.
• "Men are all awful anyway so ignore all the red flags," says Magda, cheerfully ignoring all the red flags in her own relationship.
• Ellie has finally begun to worry about the stalker - sorry, secret admirer. It only took her three separate unwanted gifts. This is a really necessary plotline that will be very useful to the plot; I just know it.
• Girlboss Anna is ringing again! I wonder what she wants! "Your dad had a cardiac arrest!" she says tearfully. The reader perks up hopefully, but sadly he is not dead. I guess he was so very sad and depressed and resentful of the jumper empire that he had a heart attack.
• Time for Ellie to call the daughter I keep forgetting she has and tell her Grandad is very sick. Boyfriend Luke drives her to the hospital to see him. For some reason Boyf Luke does not clear off and give the family he doesn't know any privacy in this hour of need, but instead awkwardly hangs around. He also has nicknamed Lottie Blotto for some inexplicable reason.
• And I will leave it there. Will Dad survive? Will Ellie have more horrifically awkwardly written sex? Who is the stalker? We shall have to wait and see…

 

 

My little analysis this time around is that it's left me thinking a lot about how Jacqueline Wilson approaches sex and sexuality in this book. As a children's author, it's obviously not something she has had much experience writing before, and it's new territory.

I don't think she is good at it, but moreover, I don't think she is at all comfortable writing about it, and especially not with the casual air she is trying to achieve. We all know she's elderly now, and I think she is generally an old soul and belongs in a different time.

She really doesn't seem comfortable with one-night stands and hookup culture. Despite proclaiming herself to be a modern woman, Ellie comes across as very prudish at times, and I think Jacky's prudishness leaks through in her character, which leads to a lot of disjointedness.

Regarding Nadine, I really found the prudishness leaking through at maximum strength. JW does not understand things like consensual choking and obviously considers it frightening and scary. Nadine is essentially punished here for her promiscuity, and the main character judges her continually for her casual relationships with men. Ellie Allard has turned into a very nasty person indeed.

It's truly a strange read. See you next time for what will probably be the final part...

Jacky should really have thought again.

After my recent reread of the original Girls books, I decided to take another look at Think Again, the adult sequel released in 2024 to much excitement. I wasn't expecting much, being that I read it two years ago at the time of publication and disliked it, but oh boy, re-reading with fresh memories of the original series was something else entirely. I will also clarify that I bought this book when it was fresh out, so I have the original copy with unedited continuity errors galore.

I've also seen some people post on here looking for a summary of the book because they don't want to read it but want to know what happens. I got you. I'm going to talk about the first 100ish pages because I think I'll have a stroke if I try to read and discuss this book all at once.

So strap in for a book that was highly publicised as the first adult Wilson book: A book that will make you laugh, cry and gasp in shock, probably all for the wrong reasons. It will really make you wonder: why did nobody have a kind word with our Jacky before this was published? And why oh why did she not fact-check her own canon for simple character facts?

Here we go.

 

• Ellie Allard is all grown up! It's been more than twenty years since we last saw her - it's her birthday, and she's turning forty. You'd be forgiven for assuming from her narration that she is either eight or eighty, but she is a normal, average forty-year-old; she swears on her father's life. She's got two jobs - one as a full-time art teacher in a secondary school and one as a regular cartoonist in a very highly regarded internationally famous newspaper - but throughout this book she'll still whine about having no money and for some reason insist on living in a "tiny council estate flat" with her cat and her daughter, although she could clearly afford otherwise and is therefore taking social housing on some other poor bastard.
• Ellie is still, for some reason, best friends with Nadine and Magda, despite them still having nothing in common. Magda has had two husbands and is now with a man called Chris, who has two kids called Nathaniel and CORIANDER, which should always be a herb and not a child. Magda's pregnancy will also be revealed soon, and Nadine lives a messy life while Ellie judges her.
• Ellie treats us to a detailed ramble about Myrtle Mouse, who was only randomly introduced in Girls in Tears as a character her mum made up for her when she was little, but now makes her money as a cartoon strip in the Guardian. That's all fine, but the way this middle-aged woman obsesses over this cartoon mouse in an adult novel is a bit off-putting. There are entire sections where she just goes over ideas for Myrtle strips and the various poses she can draw her in, as she did in the Girls books with her drawings. Kind of cute in a kids' novel, a bit twee in a YA novel, very out of place in an adult one.
• Speaking of the twee-ness, the way she interacts with her cat is very weird for an adult novel. Much description of Stella the cat in childlike language, describing her as a "fairy princess" or making up a narrative for her. I'm also obsessed with my cat IRL, but I feel like it's very much not beating the allegations that Ellie is secretly eight years old.
• The Guardian has decided to axe the Myrtle strip, truly tragic for the reader too because everybody loves beloved long-running series regular Myrtle Mouse. But gasp, what will Ellie do now? Whatever, she'll worry about it later; it's her birthday!
• When Ellie's daughter suspiciously says she can't make it home on her birthday, Ellie decides to go swimming instead. This is actually kind of cute because it was established in Girls Under Pressure that she enjoys swimming.
• At swimming, she meets this random woman, and they get chatting because they have the same "teeshirt" (I'm pretty sure it's spelt t-shirt, but shh). Her name is Alice. She feels like a very fake cardboard character who immediately reveals herself to be a massive fan of Myrtle Mouse and goes to breakfast with Ellie. Alice has a girlfriend, sadface, but they're besties now and will swap numbers to stay in touch.
• Alice the Swimming Friend has one tattoo and encourages Ellie to get one of Myrtle. Ellie decides, what the hell, yolo, it's my fortieth, and they hop along to Alice's fav tattoo studio, "Needles," the name of which cracks me up. Alice's tattoo artist can conveniently fit Ellie in, and she decides to get old fav Myrtle tattooed on her wrist. During the tattoo process, JW references an episode of Friends because she's hip and down with the kids.
• I consider myself more knowledgeable than a lot on tattoos. I have nine of them. I was a bit impressed by the accurate depictions of the tattoo artist using a stencil and a razor for fine hair, etc. Maybe, I foolishly hoped, Jacky had done her research on tattoos? Perhaps she wasn't scared of them anymore! I was proud of her for overcoming her trauma and learning about modern tattoos. But then Ellie goes through some sort of torturous pain for this small mouse tattoo, there is no mention of aftercare, and Catarina, the tattoo artist, wraps it in what is apparently a medical bandage? Either Catharina is a truly awful tattoo artist or Jacky really is just clueless about tattoos and refuses to learn.
• Ellie rings up her two Best Friends in the World, and they suspiciously avoid meeting her by saying they're unspecified levels of busy. Ellie gets a jab in about Nadine's sex life because Ellie is proving to have switched places with her and become the Judgemental Bitch of the friendship trio. Nadine is in bed with a man because she is a Whore.
• Ellie has some Emo Thoughts because her daughter and now her besties don't want to see her on her birthday and she knows NOBODY ELSE. They're such good friends that Ellie tells us how they never celebrated Magda and Nadine's fortieths together either.

Nellie, the toy elephant her mum gave her,

• gets a shoutout, as Ellie apparently slept with it right up to her teenage years and then gave it to Lottie. Um, no you didn't, you specially said YOU THREW NELLIE OUT, and you regretted it.
• Ellie goes to an art gallery to remind us that she Loves Art and that this is a massive part of her personality (the other parts being apparent autism and snobbery). She remembers her old art teacher Mr Windsor and wonders what he's up to these days. Unfortunately, we will soon find out. But not before Ellie has to head home and get ready for her birthday dinner with Dad, Anna and Eggs, who has grown up and goes by Ben now. Also, he's gay. if you didn't catch that he's gay she will tell you many more times. His personality has also been sucked out by a Dyson.
• Ellie has a shower and PUTS A PLASTIC BAG OVER HER BANDAGED TATTOO. "Showering is awkward with one hand." I wanted to hit her I really did. This is why second skin or even cling film is used for tattoos, not fucking bandages.
• She gets the train to Kingtown, where she makes sure to tell us she is the only person reading, because everyone else is busy on their "mobiles." I hate reading snobbery. I guess Ellie is the only educated person on that train and the rest of them are dithering idiots because they've never performatively read a complicated classic on public transport.
• Ellie arrives at the restaurant, but where is the fam? Nowhere to be seen. Emo moment x2 because what if they've forgotten? But then! A kindly waiter takes her through a door where she is suddenly met with about forty people yelling surprise at her, because as we all suspected except Ellie, it is a surprise party. Organised by Lottie, helped out by Ben and Simon, who apparently invited everyone from her past.
• "I had to get here ever so early to liaise with Ben and Simon," said my 19 year old daughter who really is 19 I promise.
• This party is my idea of hell. Not only was Ellie not at all prepared for it, they have invited almost everyone she has ever known, which, because Ellie has no friends other than Magda and Nadine, includes her old P.E teacher and her ex boyfriend from when she was thirteen, along with the man whose bookshop she worked in as a teenager and the couple who now run that shop. Quite sad really.
• Some colleagues and college friends are briefly mentioned but don't worry about them because they won't come back. there is also Aunty Freda and cousin Nigel, who we all remember and love from the original books. For some reason Nadine has also brought her sister who everyone hated and Ellie's agent, editor and random illustrator she admires, are also there. I guess because she has no friends Eggs had to make up the numbers.
• As readers, we know Ellie loves her daughter because she tells us all the time. So. Very. Much.
• Her dad grabs her wrist and pain shoots up her arm because JW doesn't know anything about tattoos. At most it would have been a sting or an itch.
• Ellie refers to herself as an illustrated mum. Let's start taking shots each time JW references her past works.
• Mrs Henderson talks to the girls about Mr Windsor, and refers to him as Gary, while the gang say they always wondered what his first name was. Um, FALSE, red x again, because in Girls Out Late they found out his name was Guy. They also refer to him as dating a model back then, which Miranda WASN'T.
• Narrator Ellie takes the opportunity to make a dig at Nadine's love life by bringing up an abusive ex-boyfriend who was in a band. Because Nadine is a STUPID WHORE, did you know. Look. We all know I wasn't a fan of Nadine in the original books. She threw herself into some really dangerous, stupid situations and would have sold her friends for a pound. But this time around, Ellie is just constantly shitting on her and her consensual casual relationships with men, even callously referring to a relationship with an abusive man as almost being "typical Nadine." Like come ON.
• Russell is still a sleazeball. He gives Ellie, whom he hasn't seen in about twenty years, unsolicited advice on her daughter that he has never met and then asks if Lottie is his because he's a stupid loser who can't do maths. His wife is also very similar to Ellie and even called Elinor; he refers to her "little cartoons", and he is a banker now because he is a stupid sad loser.
• Wow, what a fun birthday party where I just went around chatting to random people like my boyfriend from when I was thirteen and my old P.E teacher, let's go back to my dad's house for a sleepover and discuss the presents I got like I'm eight! JW is forgetting she's not writing a kid's book where the main character has a birthday party and excitedly lists all of her presents.
• Ben and Simon got her a new iPhone because her phone is old and stupid, apparently. Phone is never mentioned again but presumably she uses it or whatever. Ellie is cough forty so doesn't know how to do social media or something.
• Dad gave her a massive cheque, amount unspecified, but enough for her to make a deposit on a flat or house. Guess what, she won't: Eleanor Allard is apparently determined to cosplay poverty. She did this as a kid too when she bemoaned the fact that they had a second home in Wales, and it wasn't a cute look then and a very ugly look now at forty.
• The Lottie Project is referred to randomly because for some reason Ellie loved this childhood book so much she named her daughter after the main character. Wahayyy boys, shot #2 and let's not think about how canonically Ellie is probably too old to have read it as a child.
• Ellie's dad is still a prick and is still salty about Anna's knitted jumper empire all these years later. Anna is still a boss ass bitch who NEEDS TO LEAVE HIM!!
• Lottie and Ellie chat about sex, fun mother-daughter bonding. Lottie says the famous "phoned for a Deliveroo line." Ellie tells her and us that her dad was some random college dude named Steve she had a one-night stand with. So very interesting (not). At least if Russell had been the father, he could have a more central role and we could all hate him together. Ellie tells us she lost her virginity to him and he studied a book about sex to be good at it. What a pathetic loser.
• Russell being the father would have been more interesting because this Steve is a non-entity, and I don't know Lottie enough to care. Who even is Lottie? I don't know any of her hobbies or interests or personality. She's just constantly chirpy and cheerful. She goes back to college or wherever, bye. She's barely a character so I don't care.
• Nellie has now inspired a full autistic fixation mode on elephants. Ellie is drawing elephants, researching elephants, talking about elephants, and has decided she will now do a graphic novel about elephants, because she can't think of any new ideas that aren't her dead mum's. This elephant info-dumping continues for some pages. Luckily Alice mentioned she spent time observing elephants in the wild so she can ask her about them in a shoehorned-in reason for them to interact. Ellie thinks about going to the zoo to see elephants but we are strongly lectured that ELEPHANTS AREN'T KEPT THERE ANYMORE BECAUSE IT IS CRUEL AND WRONG.
• Mrs Henderson somehow now has her email address and puts her in touch with Mr Windsor. Uh oh. Mr W invites to her an art gallery to look at paintings or whatever people say when they're trying not to sound like a predator. Ellie jumps on the train to meet him and this time can't focus on Mrs Dalloway and ends up "scrolling on her phone like everybody else." So I guess you too are an uneducated fool, Ellie.
• Ellie arrives at the art gallery and Mr Windsor is waiting, looking as hot as always. However something tells me this Mr Windsor will not be as kind and supportive as he was in the 90s. #notmyMrWindsor.

To be continued…

 

My summed up thoughts so far - this is an easy book to speed through, doesn't require much thinking and reads more like a kid's book until someone swears or mentions sex. It is very much a mishmash and a confusing mix of genres. I think it isn't spicy enough to attract the romance crowd, not probing or interesting enough to qualify as a proper adult novel, but it is definitely not a children's book, so it's in no man's land, and the result is very flat.

 

And with that I've finished rereading all four original Girls books!

It's been a bit of a trial

If I was asked to rate them, I think it would go:

1. Girls Out Late
2. Girls in Love
3. Girls in Tears
4. Girls Under Pressure

 

From Think Again and Picture Imperfect, I think it was obvious that Jacqueline Wilson struggled to write convincingly from the perspective of an adult, and unfortunately from these books I've come to the conclusion that she isn't that great at writing realistic teenagers either. It seems like Ellie jumps between acting about six and eighty with no in between. I read these books at about ten, younger than the intended age range, and I think a lot of others did too. I really don't know if girls around Ellie's age would have found them relatable or interesting enough.

I’m not sure about the Nick Sharratt illustrations on these ones either. JW is trying to address problems like eating disorders and grooming and then we have the traditional childish cartoony illustrations which gives an odd contrasting vibe to the dark topics we’re supposed to be taking in. I feel like later YA Wilson books had less illustrations which was probably a wise choice.

I realised that this book series is all in the span of one school year! The first two books I think are in the first term and the second two approaching summer. It's mad to think that in the span of one school year:

Ellie: had the almost relationship with Dan, experienced the scary tough biker confrontation at that one girl's party, had the infatuation with Kev, had a problematic relationship with food but decided she was a ok, and then met and is now dating Russell the sleazeball.

Nadine: met, was quickly groomed and then almost raped by Liam, took a chance when approached by a fashion photographer and was very lucky he really was one, almost got her friends kidnapped and murdered, was then groomed online by a pervert and is still alive at the end of the series only by the grace of some divine being.

Magda: has probably had the most realistic 13 year old relationship of any of them by her on again/off again snogging with Greg, gained and lost a hamster, was almost attacked by a gang of boys, had a brief thing for Mr Windsor, and came out probably the most well adjusted of her friend group.

Let's get going:

• The books starts where the last one left off, with Ellie being so hippy hoppy happy with Russell the Sleazeball, who has given her a ring. Ellie is totally ultra happy about this until Nadine ruins it for her by telling her it's a cheap free kid's one, which is typical of Nadine but also Ellie should really have been able to tell. I guess she's so very hippy hoppy happy that she neglected to notice the plastic of it all.

• Russell continues to be sour about Ellie wanting to spend time with her friends and is a complete misogynist about Magda. How dare she have boobs and wear makeup. Ellie placates him and tries to convince reader and herself that she feels differently about her friends vs Russell because her friends don't make her heart pound and her pulse "throb." Uh huh.

• He is now pressuring Ellie to have sex because they've been together so very long (maybe two months) and love each other so very much. He's two years ahead of her at school, and she's almost fourteen, so I'm thinking he's 15/16. That two-ish years is a lot at that age in terms of maturity and where they are academically and socially. He's a whiny little bitch who keeps saying things like "my friend's girlfriend lets him." Lets! That gave me the ultimate ick; it sounds like he is saying sex is something the boy does to the girl rather than something they should both enjoy.

• Sleazeball is such a loser that he has copied Ellie's cartoon elephant to enter in an art competition because remember, he is a talentless loser. He hasn't told Ellie about the art competition because he is a talentless loser who knows his girlfriend is better than him. Ellie is more interested in looking at his books and art stuff rather than continuing to make out. She waxes poetic about how much she loves Russell and kissing him, but methinks she really doesn't.

• Poor Magda doesn't have much of a plot in this one, at least until near the end where it seems Jackie realises she doesn't know what to do with her and our girl goes a bit awol. At the beginning, her hamster (that she was apparently given in the first book JW has decided) dies and she's very upset about it. Ellie is not at all supportive and is actually quite a dick about it all. As an animal lover who's experienced pet loss (I've had three hamsters) I was actually saddened by it and felt Magda was genuinely very upset.

I really like Magda, and it's time to admit it. I know she comes out of this one looking a bit poor, but she's really the most sympathetic of the three of them, usually puts her friends first, as seen with her concern about Nadine here, and boys try to take advantage of her because of her looks. She's sensible about boys, which puts her miles ahead of Nadine, who's always running into the nearest suspicious white van when told there's an attractive boy in there.

GIVE MY GIRL BETTER FRIENDS.

• Ellie's dad and Anna have a boring sideplot where Ellie is worried he is cheating on Anna (aka being a perv with his students again) but thankfully on Anna's side as she builds her knitted jumper business. Oh yeah, I didn't mention it from the last book because I didn't care enough. Anna knits jumpers and is now building a knitted jumper empire or something. Go her, fuck it up Anna, by which I mean build a nest egg AND LEAVE YOUR ELDERLY BUM HUSBAND.

• Much is made on the blurb about Nadine's "e-mail boyfriend." In her continuing resolve to become the victim of a serial killer, Nadine has begun talking to a boy in an online chatroom about comics she likes, named Ellis (WAY too similar a name to Ellie, I kept accidentally typing that instead). Leaving aside the fact he's supposedly nineteen and therefore way too old for a fourteen-year-old, I genuinely don't think this is too bad - it's probably the LEAST worrying of any of Nadine's relationships at this point. I understand how it was a major safety worry back then, but these days a lot of teenagers make friends and have online relationships - with profile pictures, video calls, etc, it's a lot safer and easier for arranging to meet up and knowing who the person is.

• Ellie is rightfully critical of the sound of Ellis, and after discussion of how he told Nadine she looks like the girl in these comics, Nadine is the most acidic and horrible she has been in any of the books - "It's not very likely, is it, Ellie? I mean, you're so fat you'd look plain ridiculous in a bikini and big boots." Nadine is the bestest bestfriend of all time. It's worse because she knows Ellie's had issues with eating and self-image, so commenting on her weight is especially cruel of her. They become friends again in the next chapter, but I really don't think Nadine ever properly makes it up to her and it should have been the end of the friendship.

• Ellie sends in some drawings for the art competition (yeah, girlboss Ellie! Fuck you Russell) way too late past the deadline and without an application. Because this is a JW novel and she has a habit of this sort of thing of course it later is acknowledged and she is told she has incredible talent. At least she doesn't win, and though it's never said, hopefully Russell doesn't either.

• Sleazeball Russell continues to be the very worst and is jealous and aggressive about Ellie talking to Hot Blond Gay Dream Man, who turns out to be called Kev later. Russell's mate is having a party. This is IMPORTANT for the plot, which is waffling on a lot.

• At posh Sleazeball's posh sleazy friend's party, Sleazeball is predictably a sleazeball and criticises her outfit. Ellie drinks too much and is "neatly sick", as most of JW protagonists are at some point. She then is tucked into bed and has a nap, not beating the six-year-old allegations.

• This is where a lot of people's criticism of Magda comes in. When Ellie wakes up and leaves the room, she sees Russell and Magda kissing on the stairs. I know it was an extraordinarily shitty thing to do, but I blame the Sleazeball most of all. Drunk Ellie makes it home with the help of Hot Blond Gay Dream Man, or Kev as he's known to his friends.

• Ellie is having an emo moment and curses them both to oblivion. Yessss! Dump the sleazeball! You're too good for him, girl! Have a sapphic awakening!

• Magda is determined to speak to Ellie and tells her she was upset and drank too much at the party, because she realises that all boys want from her is sex and that they never want to know the real her. I actually felt a lot for her then. At least until she says Russell feels bad too and was also drunk and upset because he's insecure Ellie is more talented than him and that Ellie should talk to him. Yeah boo, sucks to suck. Find someone who cares, Russell. I hate you.

• Unfortunately for Nadine, and probably because JW didn't actually understand online chatrooms and email in 2002, she has not asked for pictures of Ellis, and when he invites her to a special cinema screening of the TV show they both like, Nadine does not google it or check the listings in any way. Our girls Magda and Ellie go to make sure she's okay, and in the least surprising turn of events since Liam was revealed to be a creep, it turns out that "Ellis the romantic 19-year-old" is a pervy old man. Magda and Ellie rush in to save her, and Nadine lives to see another day of almost being kidnapped.

• They are all besties again forever and ever and ever, despite the fact that their friendship is largely toxic, they have seemingly nothing in common, Nadine throws them away whenever a pervert looks her way and is generally a terrible support, and Magda tends to take Nadine's side in arguments. Ah, young friendships. They'll probably drift apart after school and develop and mature as people and certainly won't still be friends and exactly the same people in twenty years' time…oh wait.

• In a little aside before the proper ending, Ellie decides to confront Dad about being a perverted cheater! Yay girlboss Ellie! Confront all these horrible people! Turns out he isn't cheating; he's just sad, pathetic and insecure and working on a very pathetic self-portrait which keeps him late at the art college. Knowing this somehow fixes everything. We're a happy family again!

• There is a letter from Russell, where he profusely apologises and invites her to his romantic hangout of choice - McDonald's. It had to happen at some point, but I'm surprised it took so long and only happened once in this book knocks back shot of pure vodka. Macky D's!

• Ellie's moment of standing up to the horrible people was pointless after all because she's so hippy hoppy happy again.

• All is well in Ellie Allard's world, but I have to say this book felt a bit off from the others. It seems a bit tacked on to what was supposed to be a trilogy. Established background characters like Nadine's parents (the worst of all time), Mrs Henderson, Mr Windsor or Magda's brothers barely appear or aren't mentioned at all. They've forgotten they were such devoted fans of Claudie Coleman two months ago. Ellie just talks a lot about Russell, has a little aside worry about Dad and Anna, then goes to a party. Plus Nadine is almost murdered again, but we can expect that. The end.

• This was my first time rereading the original series since Think Again. As an adult, I can see a lot of flaws in it now. It's fun and nostalgic to live in a world where we live in McDonald's and we all talk like we go to Malory Towers, but I do wonder how relatable the books were to teenagers back then.

• I'm thinking of rereading Think Again now that I'm more familiar with these again. May or may not happen soon. There's also a TV adaptation of the Girls books from the early 00s that I've never seen but is apparently available on YouTube. I might give it a look and report back…

 

 

Thanks everyone for the comments and thoughts through these posts! Have loved sharing my thoughts. Til next time!

Hey everyone, popping in with my thoughts on the second and third Girls books.

I was a bit hesitant to post again in here because I've noticed lately it's been getting a bit aggressive in here, which is so disappointing because it's my favourite subreddit. Can't we all just come here to talk about Jacky's books and our nostalgia and rereads? Don't lets fight lol, I'd hate to see this becoming a negative place.

Anyway, I've seen others also posting their thoughts recently, my favourite being https://www.reddit.com/r/JacquelineWilson/s/Fhi6EWQ1Cq, which is just straight bangers all the way down.

Into my thoughts!

GIRLS UNDER PRESSURE

• Ellie's class is assigned Jane Eyre, but she's already read it for fun and loved it because of course she has. What's a JW protagonist without her love of classic novels!
• Nadine continues on the path of her apparent determination to be sexually assaulted, this time by trying to kickstart a modelling career and going to a photoshoot at a random photographer's place. When her friends express concern, she calls them jealous and brushes them off because she is a terrible friend. Magda is slightly better and seems to have her head screwed on a bit better, but both of them are terrible to Ellie at points.
• The old-fashioned writing made me crack up. Wouldn't be JW without elderly little 13-year-olds calling toilets lavatories and Santa Father Christmas.
• They go to Wales for Christmas, to the second home the Allards own because WEALTH, where Ellie's eating disorder amps up. She hates Wales so much it must be mentioned in every book, and I must ask JW what her beef with the Welsh is.
• Ellie's dad is so WEIRD about Magda, Anna and even Ellie comment on it in here. It's so stomach-churning, especially once it's been established that he's a lecturer who dated then married not one but two of his students. Puke.
• Ellie's disordered eating was, I think, badly done. I read this for the first time when I was nine or ten, and it made such an impact. A friend even told me recently that this book is where she learned how to make herself vomit. It's basically Anorexia: The Guide.
• Her sudden interest in swimming, although it was primarily to lose weight, was kind of a sweet moment when I remembered that she still swims as an adult in Think Again. We at least have that small character consistency.
• Magda gets a pixie cut and dyes it bright red which is apparently super cool and stunning but Nick Sharratt draws lines sprouting out of her head for some reason.
• Mr Windsor is introduced at the end of this book and seems very kind and supportive until I remember that in 20 years he canonically has a sexual relationship with Ellie. Sigh.
• Zoe exists as a red flag and warning for Ellie and nothing else, and the teachers just continuously talk about her obvious eating disorder in front of other students! Made me cringe, though it was the 90s and obviously teachers were not trained in these things as they would be today. What even happens to Zoe in the end? Does she recover? Pass away? Guess we'll never know because this book is just Ellie Allard's Flirtation With An Eating Disorder.

GIRLS OUT LATE

• Here's a fun drinking game that definitely won't end in alcohol poisoning: take a shot every time they mention or go to McDonald's. This one is free advertising for the place because Ellie basically moves in.
• Ellie wears her little brother's school jumper as a top when she and her friends go shopping. Fashion icon.
• This is the introduction of Russell the Sleazeball, whom she meets in McDonald's of course, and they do a lot of unspecified kissing in allotments. Russell is very pushy, and Ellie is apparently very into the kissing but also does not describe it at all and far more passionately describes things like Nadine's hair and paintings of women. Hm...I'm sure that doesn't show anything psychologically about Ellie and our Jacky.
• A singer they all love is mentioned, Claudie Coleman who sings about men not being worth it. Jacky cannot write lyrics; CC sounds like kidz bop.
• Nadine and Magda "badger and flirt and flutter" in order to convince Ellie's dad to let her go out with them. What a nonce.
• Magda has a massive crush on Mr Windsor and embarrasses herself but he is actually quite nice about it and doesn't make her feel bad. Shame he's a creep in 20 years.
• Speaking of creeps, Nadine's older boyfriend Liam from the first book turns back up as he's now victimising a new 12-year-old. Nadine finally shows some sense and talks to the kid.
• They're all going to the Claudie concert! Yay! But Russell is being a dickhead and despite their 50 McDonald's dates is sniffy about Ellie wanting to spend time with her friends. Boo.
• Magda's dad can't drive them and neither can anyone else's dad. People's mums can't drive in this universe apparently, and they know absolutely no other adults. So they lie and get the train to the concert only to find out it's been cancelled last minute because Claudie has a new boyfriend who wants her to stop singing. Boo x2. That's not very feminist girlboss of her.
• Nadine wants to be a statistic on the news again and tries to get them to go off with some skeevy guys in a van who say they have a band and she can be their lead singer. Uh oh. Why is this girl so determined to be murdered?
• They are predictably loser creeps who drive them to their shithole flat where they lock them in and give them vodka. I remember being afraid of this scene as a kid because it is very obvious nefarious goings on would have happened, and it's only down to Ellie's quick thinking that they escape out the kitchen window.
• Oh no! We were driven so far away by these creeps we have no idea where we are and how to get back to the train station! Luckily, we conveniently meet a nice taxi driver who takes us to the station for a fiver.
• Even more conveniently, Mr Windsor and his girlfriend Miranda are on the train. Mr Windsor is hot etc but Ellie is far more interested in describing Miranda.
• Mr Windsor's first name is revealed to be Guy. Not Gary, as retconned in Think Again.
• Guy and Miranda drop us home. He's soooo handsome and tall and dark, just hot in such a manly wAY. And she's so nice with her plaited dark hair and her slinky figure and big brown eyes in a tiny stripy top and tight black jeans. I'm sure this will awaken nothing in me.
• The book ends with Russell ringing Ellie and trying to arrange a proper date but she's been GROUNDED, so they will have to make do with McDonald's, where they both live anyway. They confess their love. So cute. Still don't know what Russell really looks like beyond that floppy hair, but I'm sure it means nothing that Ellie doesn't really describe him much.
• We're all besties again and love each other! Until the next time Nadine meets a creep who wants to rape and murder her and puts him above her friends. But that's for the next book!