u/staticdresssweet

"Human", especially.

In the wake of Erra, they decimate.

Such a good record. You know I had to buy it too.

All hail Plankton.

Seriously though, this is my go-to meme when any dating interaction goes better than I expected. Idk if this is good or bad, or somewhere in between.

1992 Seattle Seahawks

2-14 record, 140 points scored (worst in a 16 game season)

RB Chris Warren, 1000 yard rushing season

DT Cortez Kennedy, DPOY + Pro Bowler, 14 sacks

FS Eugene Robinson, Pro Bowler, 7 INTs

A 2-14 record is *really* bad, sure. But not all 2-14 teams are created equal. Some are particularly bad on one side of the ball, while being competent (or even better!) on the other. This was indeed the case with the 1992 Seattle Seahawks, who by even modern standards had arguably the worst offense ever assembled.

The numbers are staggeringly awful. 13 offensive TDs all season. 3.6 yards per play. 41 turnovers. 67 sacks allowed. A triumvirate of bad QB play, featuring Kelly Stouffer, Dan McGwire, and Stan Gelbaugh combined for just over 110 yards passing per game - when you factor in the 67 sacks their porous offensive line allowed. Amazingly, they could have still had fan favorite Dave Krieg at QB, but they allowed him to head to Kansas City instead. Bad decision. Spending the 1991 16th overall pick on Mark McGwire's brother didn't work out at all - and the Seahawks could've had DT Ted Washington, QB Brett Favre, future Seahawks RB Ricky Watters, or DB Aeneas Williams instead. Ouch.

They weren't even able to utilize their offensive weapons effectively. WR Brian Blades started just 5 games, while FB JL Williams (underrated career tbh) led the team with 74 receptions - but just 3.0 YPC on 114 rushes. Interestingly, RB Chris Warren, in a breakout year, ran for just over 1,000 yards at a 4.6 YPC clip. A sign of things to come, as he'd make the next 3 Pro Bowls.

4 of the Seahawks' 14 losses were by a TD or less, so even a competent QB and O-line could have changed their fortunes a bit. Or maybe not, considering their QBs were throwing to other guys like Tommy Kane (who dropped a lot of passes).

After all, their defense in 1992 was particularly good, considering the short hand they were playing with. DT Cortez Kennedy won the DPOY (on a 2-14 team!!!), while FS Eugene Robinson made the Pro Bowl and racked up 7 INTs. Their defense ranked 10th in the NFL in yards against, though part of that has to do with opposing offenses taking to the ground to kill clock. But make no mistake, Kennedy proved he was a HOF talent and a game wrecker right away.

Unfortunately, their 2-14 record wasn't as bad as the Patriots, who also went 2-14 but lost to the Seahawks - giving the Patriots the opportunity to draft Drew Bledsoe. The Seahawks got QB Rick Mirer as a consolation prize, but they could've had one ot the draft's 5 HOF players - or guys like LB Marvin Jones and RB Garrison Hearst.

Few NFL offenses compare to the historic awfulness of the 1992 Seahawks. They still hold the record for fewest points scored in a 16 game season, being just barely worse than the 1991 Colts and 1977 Packers. They hardly have any recent historic equals, though the 1998 Eagles and 2006 Raiders come close (especially when you discount recent expansion teams of the time). Discounting expansion teams, it seems likely that this offense is the worst in NFL history - though they'd rebound to something around below average in 1993, thanks to a couple new additions and a healthy Brian Blades at WR. Remember when Rick Mirer had a decent rookie season and fans were excited? Good times. Newer Seahawks fans haven't had to witness anything this bad, but for those who were there, well, it happened.

1992 Seattle Seahawks

2-14 record, 140 points scored (worst in a 16 game season)

RB Chris Warren, 1000 yard rushing season

DT Cortez Kennedy, DPOY + Pro Bowler, 14 sacks

FS Eugene Robinson, Pro Bowler, 7 INTs

A 2-14 record is *really* bad, sure. But not all 2-14 teams are created equal. Some are particularly bad on one side of the ball, while being competent (or even better!) on the other. This was indeed the case with the 1992 Seattle Seahawks, who by even modern standards had arguably the worst offense ever assembled.

The numbers are staggeringly awful. 13 offensive TDs all season. 3.6 yards per play. 41 turnovers. 67 sacks allowed. A triumvirate of bad QB play, featuring Kelly Stouffer, Dan McGwire, and Stan Gelbaugh combined for just over 110 yards passing per game - when you factor in the 67 sacks their porous offensive line allowed. Amazingly, they could have still had fan favorite Dave Krieg at QB, but they allowed him to head to Kansas City instead. Bad decision. Spending the 1991 16th overall pick on Mark McGwire's brother didn't work out at all - and the Seahawks could've had DT Ted Washington, QB Brett Favre, future Seahawks RB Ricky Watters, or DB Aeneas Williams instead. Ouch.

They weren't even able to utilize their offensive weapons effectively. WR Brian Blades started just 5 games, while FB JL Williams (underrated career tbh) led the team with 74 receptions - but just 3.0 YPC on 114 rushes. Interestingly, RB Chris Warren, in a breakout year, ran for just over 1,000 yards at a 4.6 YPC clip. A sign of things to come, as he'd make the next 3 Pro Bowls.

4 of the Seahawks' 14 losses were by a TD or less, so even a competent QB and O-line could have changed their fortunes a bit. Or maybe not, considering their QBs were throwing to other guys like Tommy Kane (who dropped a lot of passes).

After all, their defense in 1992 was particularly good, considering the short hand they were playing with. DT Cortez Kennedy won the DPOY (on a 2-14 team!!!), while FS Eugene Robinson made the Pro Bowl and racked up 7 INTs. Their defense ranked 10th in the NFL in yards against, though part of that has to do with opposing offenses taking to the ground to kill clock.

Unfortunately, their 2-14 record wasn't as bad as the Patriots, who also went 2-14 but lost to the Seahawks - giving the Patriots the opportunity to draft Drew Bledsoe. The Seahawks got QB Rick Mirer as a consolation prize, but they could've had one ot the draft's 5 HOF players - or guys like LB Marvin Jones and RB Garrison Hearst.

Few NFL offenses compare to the historic awfulness of the 1992 Seahawks. They still hold the record for fewest points scored in a 16 game season, being just barely worse than the 1991 Colts and 1977 Packers. They hardly have any recent historic equals, though the 1998 Eagles and 2006 Raiders come close (especially when you discount recent expansion teams of the time). Discounting expansion teams, it seems likely that this offense is the worst in NFL history - though they'd rebound to something around below average in 1993, thanks to a couple new additions and a healthy Brian Blades at WR. Remember when Rick Mirer had a decent rookie season and fans were excited? Good times. Newer Seahawks fans haven't had to witness anything this bad, but for those who were there, well, it happened.

Vinny Testaverde, QB, 1987-2007

1986 Heisman Trophy winner

1st overall pick of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in 1987

1X NFL pass attempts leader (2000)

2X Pro Bowler (1996, 1998)

3,787 career completions // 6,701 career passing attempts // 46,233 career passing yards // 275 career passing TDs (19th, 16th, 18th, 19th all-time)

1,661 career rushing yards // 15 career rushing TDs

29 4th quarter comebacks (T-11th all-time)

Most career NFL losses as a starting QB (123)

Most quarterbacks do *not* play 20 years in the NFL. Not even currently, where the position is (relatively) protected more than ever. The fact is that the top rookie QBs each year usually end up in situations where their supporting cast - and often, offensive line - is suspect.

They often don't get time to learn behind a veteran or make a ton of mistakes. 1987 #1 overall pick Vinny Testaverde was afforded plenty of the latter with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, tossing an eye-watering 63 INTs in his first 3 seasons - including 35 in year #2. In his 6 years in Tampa, Testaverde was not exactly held in high regard. While he was pretty healthy, the losing took its toll, as the Bucs were in the middle of a long string of losing seasons. Not surprising when you realize the Bucs were still playing in the old NFC Central, almost always finishing last in their division.

His Buccaneers tenure was easily the worst part of Vinny's career, though. Joining Cleveland for his age 30 season, Testaverde replaced fan favorite Bernie Kosar after his release. Cutting down on the turnovers and placed in an offense that played more to his strengths (with some decent receiving options and a better O-line), Testaverde led the 1994 Browns to what would be their last playoff win for 26 years - and had similar success when the team moved to Baltimore.

It was in Baltimore where Vinny would make one of his two Pro Bowl appearances, throwing for 33 TDs and over 4100 yards in 1996. Underrated with his legs, Testaverde also ran for 13 first downs on 34 attempts that year, which is a fun stat that you can impress your friends with (he ran for 1,661 yards and 15 TDs in his career).

When given a good supporting cast, Testaverde shined. His 1998 season with the Jets - a team that had been nightmarishly bad just two seasons prior - was special. A 101.6 passer rating, a 29-7 TD-INT ratio, and a 12-1 record in 13 starts showcased efficiency that previously wasn't Vinny's forte. That year, the Jets fell just short of making the Super Bowl, falling to the eventual back to back champion Denver Broncos.

While tearing his ACL in 1999 Week 1, Testaverde still had volume (if not efficiency) to offer in his late 30s, leading the NFL in pass attempts (and INTs) in his age 37 season. He even managed to start all 16 games in both 2000 and 2001, rare for an older quarterback. And while the emergence of Chad Pennington saw Testaverde take a backseat, he still saw meaningful playing time, with an efficient 7-2 TD-INT ratio in 7 starts in 2003.

Testaverde played until his age 44 season, starting 15/16 games with the Cowboys in 2004 (at age 41). He's 3rd all-time in career passing yards after age 40+. And thanks to a high volume and helming teams that usually played from behind, Testaverde still ranks in the top 20 all-time in career passing completions, attempts, yards, and passing TDs. Far from a bust, Testaverde isn't a HOFer - but playing for 20 years is quite an accomplishment.

1999 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

11-5 record, 1st in the NFL Central

270 points scored (27th/31 in the NFL)

235 points allowed (3rd/31 in the NFL)

Throughout the second half of the 1990s, it became clear that a great defense was building in Tampa. Anemic offenses blunted the effect of strong scoring defenses (between 1996-1999, the Buccaneers ranked last, 23rd, 18th and 27th in points scored), but in 1997 the Bucs made the playoffs and won their first playoff game in 18 years. It was a harbinger of things to come.

If you subtract a 45-0 road blowout loss to the Raiders, the 1999 iteration of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks quite a bit better on paper. Smartly, Tony Dungy pulled his starters from that game, instead of going for a comeback.

As it is, this defense was one of Dungy and Monte Kiffin's best, leading the NFC in points allowed (3rd in the NFL), and holding high scoring teams like the Greatest Show On Turf Rams to 11 points (2 by a safety, so really 9) in the NFC title game. In fact, only one other team held the 1999 Rams to less than 300 total yards, and none to fewer than 21 points. That's honestly \*insane\* levels of talent. The score was 5-3 at halftime.

In the preceding NFC Divisional Playoff against Washington, the Bucs defense held them to 157 total yards and 13 points (the TD was a Brian Mitchell KO return), and QB Shaun King became the first rookie to lead his team to a playoff win since Pat Haden in 1976 - with a 13 point comeback that was assisted by a couple Washington turnovers.

With no real receiving threat other than Jacquez Green's 56-791-3 career year, defenses were able to key in on RB Warrick Dunn easily, and he averaged just 3.2 YPC. However, he still recorded a 64-589-2 receiving line. Mike Alstott had arguably his greatest year, with almost 1200 combined yards and 9 TDs. Some of his biggest highlight reel moments came from the 1999 season, too.

Even despite a QB change from Trent Dilfer to rookie Shaun King, the Bucs at one point won 6 straight games. The only time they were blown out other than Oakland, was a 20-3 loss in Detroit - the game before the 6 game winning streak. Neither QB was particularly great in 1999 (though it was one of Dilfer's better seasons, with an 11-11 TD/INT ratio), but they were efficient enough.

The defense was one of the best in Buccaneers history, though. Other than the 2002 version that won the Lombardi and the 1979 version (that had eerie parallels with 1999), it ranks as one of the best Bucs defensive squads ever. 5 Bucs made the All-Pro team, including Alstott, John Lynch, Warren Sapp, Hardy Nickerson, and Derrick Brooks. CB Donnie Abraham also nabbed 7 INTs, scored 2 TDs, and probably should have made a Pro Bowl too.

One wonders what could've been if the Bert Emanuel catch hadn't been overturned. Would they have finished the drive off with a TD, completing a mighty upset of one of the greatest NFL teams in history? We'll never know. Even John Madden thought it shouldn't have been overturned. But considering this was the closest the Buccaneers had been to reaching the Super Bowl, better days were coming. Soon.

Also notable: The Buccaneers' 1999 NFL Draft was pretty nifty. They nabbed DT Anthony McFarland, QB Shaun King, kicker Martin "Automatica" Gramatica, and future Super Bowl XXXVII MVP DB Dexter Jackson. In their first four picks.

1999 Tampa Bay Buccaneers

11-5 record, 1st in the NFL Central

270 points scored (27th/31 in the NFL)

235 points allowed (3rd/31 in the NFL)

Throughout the second half of the 1990s, it became clear that a great defense was building in Tampa. Anemic offenses blunted the effect of strong scoring defenses (between 1996-1999, the Buccaneers ranked last, 23rd, 18th and 27th in points scored), but in 1997 the Bucs made the playoffs and won their first playoff game in 18 years. It was a harbinger of things to come.

If you subtract a 45-0 road blowout loss to the Raiders, the 1999 iteration of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers looks quite a bit better on paper. Smartly, Tony Dungy pulled his starters from that game, instead of going for a comeback.

As it is, this defense was one of Dungy and Monte Kiffin's best, leading the NFC in points allowed (3rd in the NFL), and holding high scoring teams like the Greatest Show On Turf Rams to 11 points (2 by a safety, so really 9) in the NFC title game. In fact, only one other team held the 1999 Rams to less than 300 total yards, and none to fewer than 21 points. That's honestly *insane* levels of talent. The score was 5-3 at halftime.

In the preceding NFC Divisional Playoff against Washington, the Bucs defense held them to 157 total yards and 13 points (the TD was a Brian Mitchell KO return), and QB Shaun King became the first rookie to lead his team to a playoff win since Pat Haden in 1976 - with a 13 point comeback that was assisted by a couple Washington turnovers.

With no real receiving threat other than Jacquez Green's 56-791-3 career year, defenses were able to key in on RB Warrick Dunn easily, and he averaged just 3.2 YPC. However, he still recorded a 64-589-2 receiving line. Mike Alstott had arguably his greatest year, with almost 1200 combined yards and 9 TDs. Some of his biggest highlight reel moments came from the 1999 season, too.

Even despite a QB change from Trent Dilfer to rookie Shaun King, the Bucs at one point won 6 straight games. The only time they were blown out other than Oakland, was a 20-3 loss in Detroit - the game before the 6 game winning streak. Neither QB was particularly great in 1999 (though it was one of Dilfer's better seasons, with an 11-11 TD/INT ratio), but they were efficient enough.

The defense was one of the best in Buccaneers history, though. Other than the 2002 version that won the Lombardi and the 1979 version (that had eerie parallels with 1999), it ranks as one of the best Bucs defensive squads ever. 5 Bucs made the All-Pro team, including Alstott, John Lynch, Warren Sapp, Hardy Nickerson, and Derrick Brooks. CB Donnie Abraham also nabbed 7 INTs, scored 2 TDs, and probably should have made a Pro Bowl too.

One wonders what could've been if the Bert Emanuel catch hadn't been overturned. Would they have finished the drive off with a TD, completing a mighty upset of one of the greatest NFL teams in history? We'll never know. Even John Madden thought it shouldn't have been overturned. But considering this was the closest the Buccaneers had been to reaching the Super Bowl, better days were coming. Soon.

Also notable: The Buccaneers' 1999 NFL Draft was pretty nifty. They nabbed DT Anthony McFarland, QB Shaun King, kicker Martin "Automatica" Gramatica, and future Super Bowl XXXVII MVP DB Dexter Jackson. In their first four picks.