Which gas station is better to get rewards at (and why): Maverick or Casey’s? Both are about equally far from my house and I don’t know how to tell which would save me more money or be more worth it.
Do you have any recommendations for books or other resources about navigating the social world as an autistic person?
I struggle so much socially and I don’t really understand why or how and I need something to help me understand things.
I don’t think it necessarily needs to be something aimed for autistic people, I just need something that will provide valuable insight on this sort of thing.
I’ve been a lurker here but I see many comments that end up helping me a lot. I think it’s time I get some comments that are specific to my situation. So please give advice and please be kind :)
I started dating “Blue” early last year and quickly became friends with his nesting partner, “Red”. I was new to relationships and they were fairly new to polyamory. We definitely didn’t handle things well and it fell apart pretty quickly.
Red had developed a crush on me and became very attached to me. I had felt like she was intruding on my relationship with Blue. Red and I both unloaded a lot of complicated feelings on each other. She had unknowingly and unintentionally triggered a lot of my recent trauma.
I had to stop talking to her. Then Blue and I soon broke up but stayed friends. With the space from Red, I was able to sort through the mess of feelings I had about her as a meta, as a friend, and as someone I mistakenly associated with my trauma. I also have been doing a lot of work on myself — including insecurities, trauma, etc.
Toward the end of last year, I started talking to Red again and she, Blue, and I started hanging out again. Early this year, I went on a date with Red but quickly got overwhelmed and did not continue that. There have been a few incidents that are making me very wary of her. Meanwhile, Blue and I are considering dating again.
The wariness comes from Red frequently being mildly mean to me, stemming from her assuming the worst from me. (I had gotten angry at her very easily before because of the trauma related stuff, which I have since apologized for.) Additionally, I stayed the night at their house recently and she opted to sleep on the couch. The morning I left, she was very rude and snippy to the point I cried the whole way home. She eventually admitted over the phone that it was because she was unfairly mad at me for her sleeping on the couch, which she unilaterally decided to do.
(Here’s where the sanity check comes in, because I can’t tell if I’m overreacting.) The biggest thing to concern me are texts she sent me soon after our date telling me that she doesn’t want Blue involved with any partner she may have, despite the fact that every partner she has had was his orginally and she still doesn’t mind being included in his relationships. This feels hypocritical to me. She said she prefers garden party dynamics (as opposed to kitchen table) because she doesn’t want anyone feeling “left out,” but that I was an exception to this. This all worries me quite a bit, I think because I fear she hasn’t done the necessary work on herself to cope with her feelings.
The last problem is that I very much think it is important to look to the past to understand mistakes to move forward on a better path. But Red thinks that looking to the past will get her stuck in past emotions and thought patterns. This makes me worry that she can’t make intentional change within herself and thus history will repeat.
Sorry this is so long. I think I most just need outside perspectives from people more experienced.
I just typed several long messages to a friend of mine. I’m just a rambler and it’s nothing for her to worry about, but I know she’s at work and going to only glance and stress. (Especially because the starts of the messages look stressful)
I wanted to send one short, simple text that would just say, “warning: all is good.” However, I fear “warning” gives the exact opposite feeling I want her to have.
In case you’re wondering, I used “vibe check,” but I don’t think that’s quite right either. I can’t for the life of me think of or find a better alternative for this kind of situation. I know I’ll want to be able to send this type of message again, so I need suggestions from fellow word nerds.
My grandpa and his family are from Sweden but he grew up in the US and doesn’t speak Swedish. However, there are some Swedish words and phrases he uses that he remembers his parents saying. For example, pepparkaka (ginger snaps) was an easy one for me to find online, though he definitely doesn’t pronounce it right. I’m wanting to ask about a word and a phrase he would always use, because I can’t find them and I’d like to know what is accurate Swedish.
The word he uses for bathroom, he says like “Boo-sa.” From what I know about Swedish, I think that first vowel could be o, u, y, or ö.
The phrase he uses whenever he arrives back home (he’d always tell me it means “we’re home”) is something like “himmen harmen”. That’s spelling it the way it sounds coming from my grandpa’s mouth, but I have no clue what it may have sounded like coming from my fully-Swedish great-grandparents and so I definitely don’t know how I should spell it.
If anyone knows what these words are in Swedish, I would love to know.