u/stringplayer3

I got my certification in March, and just started working morning shifts at a Rehab and LTC facility on Monday of this week. I've spent three days in the rehab unit, and one in the memory care unit.

I already want to quit. While I'm technically capable of doing the work, I cannot mentally take it. I got extremely upset after visiting the memory care unit today, as I couldn't stop thinking about how these people are husks of their former selves who just want their mom and certainly not to be yelled at by the CNAs helping to train me. This entire week I have been unable to stop thinking about the residents, even when I am at home, trying to play a game or watch a show. When I walk, I start to think about how memory care patients tend to wander. When I clean myself, I think about how all of the people I need to help can't do this themselves. I knew before going into this job that being around elderly people made me uncomfortable and sad, but decided that being uncomfortable is an important part of growing. But I don't know if I can do this.

I know it's silly to be so upset after only a week, but I am just looking to vent and ask for advice. I had no plans of working in a LTC facility, and initially wanted to work in a postpartum unit as a CNA (I plan to become an Ob/Gyn, and working as a CNA over the summer will hopefully help me become a better provider). However, none of the hospital jobs I applied to accepted me, most likely because I had no experience.

Does anyone have advice on what to do, and how to separate the work from my life? I know I need to work in healthcare over the summer, but it's certainly too late to find a different job, as I go back to school at the beginning of September.

I have so much respect for those of you who have been able to act as empathetic caregivers for years on end. This is my first ever job, so perhaps that is adding to how I feel, but I have never had my heart hurt this much. Thank you so much for any help you can give. I appreciate all of you 🩷