How do I become a christian if I keep refusing God? AMA
So ive grown up in a christian household my whole life and i DONT want to commit to being a christian but my mind knows that it is the way to eternal life and i know his words are true but it seems like every time I need help in life he is there for me, I constantly commit sins such as blasphemy, drunkenness, sexual immorality, and I cant seem to let go of this life style. I wrote a prayer request to my church 2 months ago asking to accept Jesus but the following night I find myself smoking and fucking, they called me up yesterday and i fucking lied to him, i told him my life got a whole lot better but in reality my life hasnt changed, its too amazing in my own eyes to stop. I cant deal with myself, It's too much fun and I have given into this life style. I have seen God do wonderous things in my life but I won't accept him into my heart it's almost like he cant enter. I really don't want me or my girlfriend to go to hell but I cant bring myself to commit. help (17 years old and autistic)