Cognitive decline and long term use (6 years)
Howdy! I have been on Spravato for almost exactly 6 years now (June 2020), and my depression has been in COMPLETE remission ever since I was about one month into treatment. Truly life saving! Being able to experience joy for the first time in my life was and is such a novel, incredible experience, and it will never get old for me.
I will start by saying I would not trade this treatment for the world. Again and again, in every lifetime, I would choose Spravato. But. There’s a big but. Has anyone else who has been in treatment long term experienced any cognitive decline that they can only attribute to Spravato?
This cannot be the brain that got me through grad school to earn a masters degree. My cognitive function has fallen so low that I am disabled. After 2 years on a waitlist, I am scheduled for a neuropsych eval this Thursday (FINALLY, huge sigh of relief). This will be a huge component of my application for disability, as I am completely unable to work and I don’t foresee myself ever being able to hold down a job again. While I am no longer completely disabled by crippling suicidal depression, my brain no longer works the way it should and Spravato is the only trigger that I can think of. I’ve had no injuries, no major illnesses, no substance use history current or former. It’s like my cognitive abilities just said “nope!” the minute I started Spravato.
I’ve been through 3 different clinics and they’ve all told me, in oddly similar verbiage, “the 5 year studies show no cognitive impact.” So I’m about to go on a deep dive with this tonight—I loved being in school because I LOVE research and data. Science! If my brain still worked and finances were of no concern, I would pursue my doctorate of social work and go into research because seriously, I would have so much fun with that life! So I’m looking forward to doing my own reading tonight but I wanted to reach out to other long term patients and see if anyone has a personal experience that aligns with mine at all.
Like I said, I absolutely do NOT regret my decision to start Spravato and I will continue to wholeheartedly recommend it to every friend, loved one, and stranger who I think has even a slight chance at benefitting from it. I am still in treatment, and I expect treatment to be lifelong for me (as long as my insurance keeps covering it). I would absolutely never trade my status now for my status before I started—I’d rather have zero cognitive function and be truly happy like I am now, than be suicidally depressed for the rest of my life with a functioning brain. It sucks that I’m disabled (to say the least) but at least I can experience joy, I can be present with my kids, I can wake up every day motivated to try to be at least half the person that my dog thinks I am 🙂
My earliest memories in life are of being sad and anxious, I’d say I became aware around age 3-4, and things just never got better. I can’t even relate to folks who say treatment gave them their old selves back (great for them!) because I had no old self to go back to—for as long as I can remember, I wanted to die. Spravato gave me a level of mental health that I had simply never experienced before. I was 34 years old. I’m now 40, and even though it’s been 6 years, the feeling of happiness is still just so new and novel for me. I truly love that for me haha I hope the newness never goes away!
I used to be in a patient support group on Facebook that seems to have disappeared. There, I seem to remember folks talking about new onset cognitive difficulties, but my memory is foggy—that’s one big thing for me, my memory is absolutely awful. I know a lot of that may be natural damage from a lifetime of complex trauma and untreated mental illness, which certainly doesn’t help, but I simply don’t know how much of it if any can be attributed to Spravato.
Please let me know your thoughts 🙂 if you happen to have any good literature or research studies on hand, feel free to send them my way!