I don't know what I'm doing/ freakout post
Hi everyone! I'm starting a SOBO thru-hike in a couple of days and am starting to regret my decision to hike the PCT. I've realised the enormity of what I'm trying to do and how incredibly unprepared I am.
I'm not even 100% sure why I'm doing this. In the weeks leading up to the trail I started to feel nervous but this is a whole other thing. At least then there was a bit of excitement mixed in. Now I just feel a bit sick. I don't think I've ever felt so nervous in my life.
I've only ever gone on one two night solo hiking trip and it destroyed me. I'm fairly young and have never lived away from home before. I'm not in bad shape but I'm definitely physically under prepared. Ultimately, I have zero clue what the hell I'm doing and am going to be starting in what is termed the most remote and physically challenging section of the trail with a pack that feels too heavy. I'm going to need to be slow so I'm almost certain I won't make it to the Sierras in time and am worried about being lonely. My budget is very tight.
If we're counting markers for success I think I've totaled at zero.
I came here from the UK and made it to Seattle a couple days ago. I had a bit of a rough experience getting to my hotel from the airport without data at night and ended up getting flashed- which didn't detract from my anxiety. This brought back some unpleasant memories of a similar incident that happened to me a few years back and has just made me more nervous about hitchhiking as a solo female traveller. I can't help but feel like I stranded myself 7,000miles from home
I'm sorry, I know this is a very negative post. The fact that I even have the opportunity to do this trail is an incredible privilege and despite all this I do still want to try hiking the trail. Maybe just trying to hike Washington and Oregon would work better for my budget/sanity?
Anyway, thank you so much for reading! As much as part of me wishes I was at home right right now watching the mentalist and eating bonbons, I'm still going to give the trail a chance. I just wanted to see if there was anyone (especially SOBO hikers) who had experienced similar feelings or had any advice for me? If any of you guys could also recommend any potential bail out points for international hikers, I would be really grateful.
Edit: I have no words. I just want to thank you all so very much. I'm so touched by everyone's support and all the great advice given in the thread. I think I just needed to share with people who understood what it feels like to start this journey. Usually I'm quite an anxious person so doing something like this goes against every physical instinct that I have but I just need to remember the me a few weeks ago who was so excited to start. Like people have said, no matter what happens it's going to be the adventure of a lifetime so I just need to take this opportunity and run with it. Thank you to this amazing community!