New medicine after 10 years rant
I just need to vent a bit, and I figured this Reddit page would be my safe space. 💙 After 10 years on ciclosporin (and trying methotrexate, Tocilizumab, and anakinra), it's just not working like it used to.
It's literally been a decade since my diagnosis, and now I have to go back to trying biologics, even though I'm terrified of another anaphylactic reaction 🫠
I'm just so tired of going through that whole cycle again, wondering if it'll work or make things worse.
Plus, over the years, my TMJ got damaged (had an arthroscopy for it), and my wrists and finger joints are always in pain and showing bone changes. Now, with Prednisone, my blood pressure is out of control, causing palpitations, which is also triggering my anxiety and nerve pain from when I had shingles, making me start anxiety meds, and it hasn't been right for over a month. I'm just waiting for my new medicine (Sarilumab) to arrive and have no idea how I'll react.
Even though I have my husband and family supporting me, anyone in this group knows how tough this is, not just physically but emotionally and mentally. It just feels like I'm back to square one. I was hoping to start family planning soon, but now I have to delay this until I feel okay, but I just feel kind of down about it. 😞
I'm hoping to get through this again, but I just needed to get it off my chest. I feel so mentally tired and drained and have survivor's guilt with all this. Especially with taking so much time off work i just feel so out of place and guilty for being sick. I just hope this medicine works and helps me stabilise again.