am i in denial about the prodromal phase?
hi all, i just want to say this subreddit and community has been a super eye opening resource - thank you sincerely to everyone who contributes here.
i have been a daily cannabis user starting from adolescence for many years now, started off mainly with carts from a family friend’s farm and recently slowly transitioning to ontario legal flower and a dynavap. it was a way to cope with chronic muscular pain and central sensitivity (likely cause was sedentary lifestyle from a young age).
i always made sure to complete any responsibilities before getting high and used it as a motivation and reward. you know that classic ball and chain restraint old prisoners used to have? i always explain my usage as taking this chronic pain “ball and chain” off myself for the evening, and i would use this as motivation to push through pain and discomfort during the day.
last night after research throughout this subreddit, i learned about the prodromal phase. today is wednesday, this all started on monday morning when i woke up way earlier than i usually do with far from ideal bowel movements - this was super strange to me. i chalked it up to lactose intolerance (my fatass had a slice of cheesecake at night before sleep - im sure my gut bacteria loved that!). that day, i ended up vaping a few times throughout the afternoon and evening in order to actually be able to push through the nausea and eat.
tuesday morning i woke up again in a similar way - early in the morning, felt stressed and unexpected, had to go to the bathroom and felt super uncomfortable on and off throughout the day.
throughout the last few days i have been dealing with excessive bloating and gas making the top of my abdomen near my ribs feel very uncomfortable. a mild fever and wild random hot/cold flashes.
i tried a hot bath, however the heat only provided a second, less painful sensation that i could focus my attention on, rather than actual relief as i hear is common from this subreddit.
this has all been paired with my lovely (overreacting) anxiety over my current relationship, which cannabis also helped with by calming the racing mind and letting me journal my feelings.
perhaps this was/is a trigger for, though i can’t figure out if it’s a contributor still as i type this today.
essentially, i may be in denial out of fear for losing my coping mechanism, but im really hoping this is just a simple stomach bug, and usually in these cases i would vape just to push through and not feel awful. im trying not to because even if it isnt chs i know gut motility slows with cannabinoids.
the stories about the hyperemesis phase are keeping me strong for now, but (and forgive me to all who have suffered through this) a small part of me thinks actually experiencing hyperemesis might be the trigger i need to quit permanently.
but man… do i just want to feel a little better, which i know weed will temporarily do for me (at expense of my future self…)
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i managed to get through one day and night (last night) without any weed as well as avoiding solids to prevent fermentation and i woke up feeling a tiny bit better than the last two mornings (didn’t feel as stressed, still bloated and uncomfortable)
my current plan is to hopefully push through today and tonight again staying sober, seeing how i feel tomorrow morning, and maybe that evening if all went okay i would hit half of a dynavap bowl and see if things stop improving. i feel if this is a stomach bug then things should settle by tomorrow or friday (day 4 or 5). though realistically i know i should stop for as long as possible.
thank you kindly for reading this long post! means a lot to me. im not sure what i expect out of this post but i hope sharing my experience can somehow help us all a little :)