u/tortoisemom19

I'm looking for some advice about when the right time is to open yourself up to a new cat after a loss.

I lost my Neela a year and a half ago after 15 years together. She was my absolute world until her last couple years after I had my daughter and most of my attention naturally went to her. I still carry a tremendous amount of guilt over her receiving so much less from me in her final years. I just kept telling myself that things would get better. I thought I had more time.

Over the holidays I casually started checking shelters online and there were a couple of kittens that I inquired about, but never heard back from the foster homes. My understanding from the shelter and another rescue is that color point kittens generally get adopted by their fosters or their extended families/friends. Honestly at the time it was a relief because I panicked a bit after sending one of the emails and realized I really wasn't ready.

I generally order my other cats food online, but misjudged and needed to pick it up in store today which led me to the lovely flame point in the second picture. Somehow they've had her for 3 weeks and she'd been at the shelter for several months prior to being brought to the store. I feel drawn to her, but I don't know if it's because I'm ready or if it's because I just feel like she needs to be rescued. I was thinking a kitten would be easier to integrate with my other cats, but she had a companion that was adopted so I at least know she's open to other cats.

For those that have moved on after losing "heart/soul" cats, how did you know you were ready?

For clarification on my existing 3 cats:

2 firmly belong to my husband. Neela was very possessive of me so they latched onto him and are obsessed with him.

The other is an orange tabby that we've had since he was a kitten. We love him, but he's always been very stand offish and independent. He mostly keeps to himself except for random nights at 2 in the morning when he decides he wants an intense cuddle session then leaves.