u/trampaboline

28 year old writer here. Spent a year doing misc. e-commerce social work for peanuts, then transitioned to pharma agency work, where I’ve been for four years.

I’ve never been a part of a real pitch, outside of brand planning. I’ve only really just started to lead pieces. I’ve been relegated to anno work and supporting other writers for the bulk of my career. I’ve become a pillar of each team I’m on and a reliable keeper of content, but never given the chance to do anything shiny.

To be clear: I’m not really looking to be a hero. I don’t need or even really want to rise to CD levels, given that my current CD works 10-11 hours a day plus weekends. In full honesty, I just need to A) make more money, and B) ensure I’m employable when this gig inevitably ends, as they all do. That second one is the main concern — my portfolio has a few assets like websites and campaign pitches for major pharma brands, but outside of that, my reliability as a details guy has kept me insanely busy with distinctly unsexy work for a long time.

All of that said, I feel like the gap between my role and even just “senior copywriter” is farther than desired.

Am I far behind where I should be? If so, what am I doing wrong? It’s worth noting that this is far from my passion and, while I routinely work over 40 hour weeks and always deliver with strength on any ask, I’m really not looking to spend an extra ten hours a week working on ad lobs nobody asked for or doing Miami ad school. If that’s the bare minimum it takes to keep pace in this field, I’d welcome that knowledge and politely start tweaking my resume to look applicable to PR or some other junk.

Let me acknowledge the obvious bias upfront: I’m upset with a low score I received from the BL. I understand that we can’t all throw tantrums every time we get a score we don’t like. That said: this eval reeks of misalignment at best, and bad faith at worst.

The script I submitted is a black comedy. As is the nature of many black comedies, much of the humor is situational and character-driven rather than wordplay, quips, or traditional setup/punchline. Still, the lens of comedy is downright essential to the reading and market positioning of my script, and I felt that that lens was not only discarded by the reader, but deliberately played against.

The genres assigned by the evaluation were alarming. Where I submitted under “comedy” primarily, with “thriller” as a secondary genre, this eval omitted comedy entirely and categorized the script instead as “coming of age”, which I see no basis for.

Here comes the weakest part of my argument, but something that just fundamentally doesn’t sit right with me: I received a 2 in both character. And dialogue. As someone who has submitted before and been commended regularly for dialogue (8s and 9s, even in lesser evals), this really left a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, my style isn’t going to click with everyone, but as I see it, there are really only 2 explanations for a 2:

1. I have a catastrophically flawed grasp on the English language and communicated the contents of my script in an almost unintelligible manner.
2. This reader was grading against a set of criteria that is antithetical to my script and what would make the dialogue/characters work.

All of this in consideration, I’d still be hesitant to reach out save for one major factor: this eval arrived on the final day before I’d receive free hosting due to wait time.

With all of this compounded, this evaluation reeks of a reader who’s slammed during Nicholls season and just had to hit a timeline. Which, in all honesty, is fair enough, but without the lowering of price or expectations to reflect understaffing, I can’t comfortably just accept this black mark on my profile without any inquiry.

Does anyone have any experience in this arena? Is it worth reaching out? The last thing I want is to come out as an entitled writer, but I believe my hundred dollars and nearly month long wait should at least come with a guarantee that my script will land in the hands of someone ready to give it a fair shake on its own terms. There’s a reason that the site specifies genre with submissions, and the fact that my script was paired with someone who viewed it as a gritty coming-of-age thriller both rubs me the wrong way and is a bit beyond my comprehension.

Title: Well

Format: Feature

Genres: Comedy, Drama

Logline: An isolated young man finds unexpected purpose when his therapist manipulates him into committing crimes on her behalf.

Script: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1eQ24YEH8CbT1i7i_DMaVDHLP1SHe11zs/view?usp=drivesdk

Evaluation: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1rmKTqIYPWVeO-aw5AvLLj0xi2QSRrQv_/view?usp=drivesdk

I do appreciate the responses, but to be blunt, this is not a feedback post. I am pretty well situated in my view of the quality of this script in its intended spot in the marketplace. I have my own reasons for using the BL, and it is not qualitative feedback.

I appreciate the comments of “this dialogue is bad”, but to be frank, I don’t know who you are, you’re not ticking the needle on how I look at my work, and that’s not what I’m asking. I’m looking for people who have had similar experiences and asking their perceptives on just the inquiry in question.

That said, thanks for reading.

Originally wrote this as a comment under an AC thread, but I went so far down the rabbit hole that I figured I’d try to start a more full conversation with a proper post.

With conversation in this community now shifting to which entries, if any, warrant the next remake treatment, it has become my vehement opinion that AC 3 is not only the correct answer, but the only reasonable one. My reasoning: I think you could make a case for AC 3 being the best game to represent the identity of the AC franchise, perks and pitfalls intact. In keeping with this assertion, I believe that to address the holes in AC 3 would be to address fundamental holes in the AC franchise in its entirety, fully restoring faith in the series and setting us on a redemption path for both remakes and new entries alike.

Let me explain.

I love the bones of this game so much. The setting is great as is, but the way the narrative weaved in and out was *chefs kiss* as far as AC taking advantage of its era goes. I know people accuse it of being Forest Gumpy, but like… did you want an American revolution game where we didn’t engage in the notable moments or with the major figures? Idk — to me, AC is Forest Gumpy by nature, and I love seeing where they fit the protagonist and their story in the larger backdrop. To this day, I think 3 and 4 are the shining examples of how you balance the protagonist journey and the larger historical narrative.

Then there’s the gameplay. Once again: fantastic foundations. No AC game (perhaps no game in general) has ever made me feel so unstoppable. I don’t mean that from an “invincibility”, power fantasy way — I mean it in terms of literal momentum. Connor is an absolute beast. Whether he’s parking, fighting, or just running through the streets, the guy does NOT want to stop. The best story-driven games bake in characterization to the actual mechanics and control of the protagonist, and 3 does it gloriously. The actual combat system, while not exactly “challenging”, was engaging enough. Same goes for the parkour system. Both were slightly dumbed down versions of the previous systems, but the tradeoff was unprecedented fluidity that the series STILL hasn’t come close to since.

That said… Yes, this game is deeply flawed.

The stealth is broken. The mission variety is scarce (save for the wonderful naval combat introduction). So much time and passion was given to versatility of animations, but mechanically, you will approach damn near every encounter the same way. For fucks sake — this game introduced a goddamn bow and arrow and then just had it function like a gun, alerting soldiers that could not reasonably see or hear you every time you used it. The original game is buggy as hell, and the remaster does little to fix that. Speaking of the remaster, which is the only version of the game available for most players… Yikes. A downgrade on almost every level.

Perhaps more importantly than all that… Things just feel like they’re missing.

We all know about Connor’s cut monologue, or Desmond’s cut voice message to his father, both of which truly would have stood as some of the most impactful writing in the entire series. We probably also know about the abandoned canoe mechanics, the scalping, and various other systems that didn’t make it to the final game. Beyond what we know didn’t make it into the game, though, it just feels as though chunks of both narrative and gameplay aren’t there. I adore the story overall, but it’s hard to deny how uneven it is. The prologue is remarkably lush, with haytham endearing himself to the audience only to stab them from behind, but then sequences become bizarrely lopsided, speeding up and slowing down seemingly at random, refusing to let us linger where we’d like to and forcing us to spend long stretches of time where nobody would ever wish to be. It’s Spider-Man’s MJ missions cranked up to 11. This is most egregious as we near the endgame — Haytham’s death is beautifully done and his relationship with Connor is the strongest through line of the story, but then suddenly we’re just… chasing Lee. Then we’re done. The engaging politics and conflict of the revolution are totally pushed aside. Very little resolution on many macro and micro levels. And the less I say of Desmond’s ending the better.

If you want an example of how the story as a whole can feel from time to time, watch the clip that comes in the aftermath of the battle of bunker hill, which consists of a genuinely interesting revelation packaged in a cutscene that literally feels like it cuts off mid sentence. If that’s not the perfect stand-in for this story as a whole, I don’t know what is.

No game better represents what the franchise could have been if it committed to both era-hopping AND assassinness. At the same time, no game has ever felt like it so needlessly kneecapped itself. From introducing tools, modes, and opportunities that the game then actively deincentivizes us from using, to opening up wonderful story boxes and then never revisiting them, this game keeps kicking its own LEGO set to pieces halfway through building. Part of this can be attributed to rushed development, but I think a larger part can be attributed to AC’s age old tendency to abandon things just before they’ve figured out whether they’re even going to work or not. For these reasons, I would want an AC 3 remake (a three-make, if you will) more than any other game in the franchise.

Hell, at least give us an update that makes the bow and arrow quiet.

I know that the unfortunate reality of our corner of the industry is that the number of competitions with the potential to genuinely impact a career is getting smaller by the year. That said, I can’t actually name any legit contests other than Nicholls. Am I missing any actual opportunities, or are we truly in such a dire state that there’s a single Hunger Games for screenwriters and nothing else?

Beyond that, are there any genre competitions that actually tick the needle/are worth anyone’s time? I’ve heard of The Bloodlist, but can’t find any info as to whether or not that’s still operating. Seems that a lot of other solid ones have shut down. Anyone know of anything?