u/triotor

The first time I sent one
My heart cracked open, rebirthing
Butterflies were born from every word 
I waited for them to migrate to me again

The first time you replied 
I melted into my chest
And watered the rainbow roses that sprout
From the seeds of love 

Hints of my feeling were sent
Via clumsy carrier pigeon
The notes always dirtied or ripped, always misinterpreted 
My delivered message was never really sent 

The distance between us may be closed by a hand
But the distance that separates us crosses 3 worlds

Perhaps beyond the milky way
Will we be able to finally reach one another
Somewhere where I am older, taller, funnier
And all of the things that make you fall

I never wanted children
But maybe in this alternate world our daughter would have your eyes 
And have that same uncontainable giggle that I first fell in love with  

Little golden-white lights
Guide me through the forgotten path
I was never graced with the brilliance of beautiful destruction
Only the despair it left behind

I looked up to every supernova
Wishing for an ultraviolet
That disappeared like a shooting star
My dismal euphoria along with it 

I looked up to that sky 
Wishing despairingly for another 
That last appeared eons ago
My repetitions brought me much shame 

This little modicum of desire
Erased all possible rational within
Myself and my mind, and remains
The truest part of myself that isn’t true to me at all 

I fall asleep to fantasies of laying on your lap
Your gaze like a blanket 
Your smile as a second sun

My longest dreams of you
Are my shortest poems
But I could fill a series of novels
With the essays my brain writes about you 

Travelling hand in hand
Through dusty department-store aisles
My heart resonated with itself shapely embroidered
On a modest cream tee
An early birthday gift bought by you

When I wore it, it embraced me
The threads of its heart wrapped around my own
I felt each string flow through my arteries 
This must be destiny, fate, and everything in between

But, I could only wear it twice a week
I still ironed it each morning,
smoothing out wrinkles that never had time to form

That fabric on my skin completed me
Restored within me, was the piece of you from long ago

A piece missing from an apparition. 

It surfaced and created a moss-colored stain
Floating on the space in between my chest 

I scrubbed it twice a day
Until the fibers frizzed up and left little cotton balls
My frantic hands caused wrinkles too deep for any iron 

I was ashamed to have it ever adorn me again
That hideous green,
it took too much attention
from a heart that rested too high

I cradled it within my hands
A humble possession—doomed to collect dust
And in that memory held infinitely dear
A drop of green apple ice cream
Forever stained my favorite shirt