I'm not "acting more deaf," I'm learning how to advocate for myself.
I have EVAS and was diagnosed when I was around 5 or 6. I grew up in a strictly oral environment, to the point that I didn't understand other dhh people or sign languages existed until I was maybe 12. I didn't meet another dhh person until I was 18. I'm 27 now and have been learning sign this whole year. I go to Deaf events when I can and have made friends in the community, I've been learning about different phone features to help with accessibility, and I've been more open about advocating for myself. Stuff like that.
Anyways. The more I experience Deaf community, the harder it is to be around hearing people. I love my hearing friends, don't get me wrong, but it can be so draining. It's not a personal attack on them by any means. I expressed this to a (hearing) friend of mine and they ended up saying something along the lines of, "You never seemed to struggle before you started signing and making Deaf friends and acting more deaf though." Well...yeah. When you don't have the experience to realize you're struggling...idk.
I wanted to invite my mom to Deaf church this weekend too but I think she would be upset. Take it as some sort of attack on her for how I was raised or make her feel dumb. That's not my intention, just how I think she'd respond.
I'm just a little sad. That's all.