u/uenostation23

My dad is on SSI in California. His rent is about $1,650/month, and he uses basically his entire SSI check to pay rent. He gets by on food stamps, goes to the food bank, and collects cans for extra money.

A couple of years ago, after I moved to San Francisco and started making more money, I started loaning him about $500/month. I don’t pay his landlord. I usually give my dad cash when I fly down to see him each month (sometimes I transfer it to his bank account). He decides how to spend it.

The important part is that he refused to accept it as a gift because he didn’t want to be a burden. We agreed it was a loan, signed a simple agreement, and the plan has always been that he’d pay me back after he moves in with my husband and me in 2027. At that point he won’t have rent anymore and can repay me from his SSI.
Recently, his SSI dropped from around $1,200/month to around $900/month. When he called SSA, they told him it was because I help him with rent.

The problem is that during his SSI interview, he only told them that I help him with rent. He didn’t explain that it was a loan. He also mainly speaks Spanish, but the interview was done in English. He has a lot of health problems, and I’m worried he didn’t fully understand the questions or explain the situation correctly.

I’m his representative payee, but I didn’t know any of this until recently when he told me what happened. I’m trying to get it corrected.

Has anyone been through something similar? Has anyone had SSA recognize family assistance as a loan instead of a gift, or had success with a reconsideration? Any advice before I call SSA?

Title:
Hi everyone.
I’m posting because I’m really scared and just looking for support from people who understand COPD hospitalizations.

My dad is 68 and has COPD, type 2 diabetes, hypertension, and a history of lung/throat cancer. Today his oxygen levels were reportedly in the upper 70s/low 80s, and he also had a fever. He went to the ER, and the hospital later told me he is “stable” and being admitted to an observation/step-down type unit, not ICU.

I know no one can predict what will happen or diagnose him online. I’m just his daughter, I don’t live with him, and I feel helpless waiting for updates.

If anyone has gone through something similar with a parent, spouse, or loved one with COPD, low oxygen, ER visit, hospital admission, step-down/observation unit.I would really appreciate hearing what happened in your case. Did they improve? Did they need BiPAP or more oxygen support? How long did the hospitalization last? What helped you cope while waiting?
I’m just trying to feel less alone right now.