ISO: Intimacy Advice for TN
I came here out of desperation and anonymity. I love my husband.
I’ve been with my partner for almost 6 years. He was diagnosed with Trigeminal Nueralgia about 6 months into our relationship. I’ve stayed by his side through all the challenges as he is the one for me. No doubt about it.
He has good days and bad days. We used to have period of a few months where it wouldn’t be bad at all and that was nice. These past couple of years it’s a daily occurrence. We are currently working with a new doctor in a clinic that specializes in this condition which we are seriously hopeful about. There hasn’t been any concrete solution just yet but I’m staying positive for both of our sakes.
I’ve come here to understand how anyone gets through it. Specifically when it comes to physical intimacy. The first couple of years, I would initiate constantly, but with no success. I would then feel rejected, sad. I’d remind myself that it’s not him, it’s his condition and medication. I would get lucky every now and then and he’d make the effort. He’s not able to make out with me without pain, so we can’t. At least, I don’t force it anymore out of guilt. It breaks my heart.
Do you have any advice on how you handle this type of challenge with your partner? I would bring it up every once in a while. My issue is every time
I do, I can see he’s also heartbroken about it. I’m just at a loss here and don’t know how to move forward.