RCIA and prior abortion
I was raised (American) Anglican and baptized in the Anglican Church. I've been drawn to Catholicism for a long time and have finally found a parish that my husband and I are visiting.
However, I'm fearful of moving forward with anything because I had an abortion 3 years ago. I had cancer and felt I had no choice. I learned later that that was very much not true, in any sense; in my specific case it literally just would have pushed back my treatment schedule by a couple months to protect the baby. I had just gotten married too, a couple weeks before I found out about the cancer and the baby. So it was a stressful time and I'll be honest, while I feel guilty to the extreme I don't quite fully blame myself. Something to discuss with our pastor.
Anyway, my baby could be alive right now and I feel (though this might be selfish) that it's worth mentioning that I would be healthier as well, especially mentally. I mourn my baby every day. I had a natural miscarriage earlier this year too, which stirred everything up even more.
I'm just worried that I won't be accepted and that it would be better to stay away. I'm embarrassed to discuss it. My own family doesn't even know about it, because I'm so afraid of how they might look at me. Basically, I'm fearful that I am going to be alienated forever. Does anyone have any insight?