Wife said tonight I shouldn’t try to actualize fantasies
We’re still newbies. We’ve only started exploring LS for about a year, and only had 1 successfulish encounter.
We’re both older (45) and out of the two of us, she’s the looker. We’ve both lost some weight over the past few years which has helped her confidence.
I’m straight, wife is bi-curious but has not had the opportunity to explore until we started this journey.
We’re tried feeld and sdc, she she’s always getting messages from single guys even though both of our profiles says we only play same room for now with another couple.
Recently I’ve encouraged her to put us out there more and we’ve gotten more dates lined up than we have before. Saturday, we met up and had dinner with another couple and we genuinely enjoyed their company and conversation and told them as such in our group chats. I asked them what things are they into or boundaries to see if more dates / play was something that interested them. They responded they don’t really have any specific things they’re into and just vibe and go with the flow. Then the male half of the other couple says something that his wife enjoys essentially MFM if all things align.
The next day they they’re said invited us to hang out again but at Secrets in the evening. I took this as good sign that they’re interested in us because if not, why so soon, and why at secrets, and not at another venue.
Wife and I discussed and we agreed that sure, but we weren’t going to play because of other reasons at the time. The other couple stated no expectations of anything but if the vibe hit, then maybe some light play.
We agreed and decided to leave all prep things at home (condoms, trimix, etc) since we didn’t expect play.
Both couples get there and we walk into Secrets together. We get out drinks and go and sit and chat. We hang out on the sun beds together just talking about a bunch of things, most of non-spicey. Other wife lets it be known that she’s not into touching or being touched by strangers. Obviously I take that as a sign that I shouldn’t touch and look to see if she’s interested in me. Most of the time other wife doesn’t make a lot of eye contact with me, and I try to engage in conversation with both them. As the night goes on, I see a shift go on where the other couple seems interested in everything my wife has to say. I leave for the bathroom and come back and both wife/husband are facing my wife. I figure they were having a good conversation and I sit down and try to engage and the conversation seems to have no legs. Other wife turns away and just chills.
It’s 10:00pm and we all arrived around 730, and it seems like they aren’t interested in me. We moved over to another area away from a newly setup dj , and somehow got onto the topic of exhibitionism and how they got into it and how my wife and I aren’t there yet. Then the other husband asks me point blank how’d Id feel about my wife about going down on me right then and there. I politely decline and said it’s not something we’re doing tonight. (Nothing that night we did or talked about did anything to arouse me or my wife).
We leave shortly after because life is busy and we have work the next morning.
During the car ride home we started discussing the evening as we do with every date and I said I don’t think the other couple is interested in me at all. I explained No eye contact, no engaging questions to ask more about me even though I was asking about them, and they didn’t seem flirt with me at all. I expressed to my wife that this makes me disappointed and I’m unsure if I’d hang out with them again.
This became a conversation of contention and in short said I shouldn’t even explore LS if I’m going to get disappointed in a non-spicy date. I explained to her my point of view and what I experienced in the night and she says I’m looking too much into it and in short stated the other couple just wanted to chill and talk.
I said that’s fine, but with mixed signals, it’d be nice to know if I’m barking up the wrong tree with them. I get it, it’s hard to have a 4 way connection. My wife then goes on to say that if I’m going to get disappointed after dates don’t go as well as I hoped, then she’s probably done. I expressed to my wife that while I feel disappointed, I wasn’t ready to give up just because something is harder for me than others. I said to her that we started on this to explore some of our sexual fantasies and I’d like to fulfill some of mine.
She ended the conversation with ‘sometimes fantasies should just stay that way’.
and now I’m awake at 630am typing this because I need to get it off my chest.