Shaken up by an aggressive confrontation at Montesacro
Hey everyone, I’m still feeling incredibly shaken up by an incident that happened to my family last night and just need to get this off my chest/see if anyone else has dealt with this kind of behavior lately.
Last night around 6PM, my family (myself, my husband, our 3 and 5-year-old kids, and my parents-in-law) had outdoor reservations at Montesacro in Walnut Creek. My husband, myself, our kids, and my MIL are Asian; my FIL is white.
A table of 6 sat down next to our table of 6. They were clearly celebrating a birthday and appeared to span three generations, from grandparents down to younger adults. Because the sun was still out, there was a bit of a musical-chairs situation with the outdoor umbrellas. The birthday table, who sat down after us, insisted the staff move the shade to cover themselves. Unfortunately, this pushed the direct sunlight right onto my 3-year-old daughter sitting in her high chair. After about 10 minutes, she was visibly uncomfortable, so we asked to adjust the shade to cover her.
The neighboring table immediately grew agitated. One of them audibly complained to the staff that “everyone should’ve just brought their sunglasses” instead of complaining about the sun.
Wanting to defend my kid, I asked them if they were seriously suggesting my 3-year-old should have brought sunglasses. They claimed they "couldn't see" my daughter, but then doubled down, saying the rule still applied to the rest of us and adding, “Everyone could use some Vitamin D."
My husband turned around to defuse it and said, “That’s correct, including everyone at your table. Let’s find a solution that works for everyone instead of making attacks."
Instead of acting like adults, a younger male at their table escalated completely. He looked at my husband, who was literally holding our 5-year-old daughter in his lap, stood up. and told him he "has a gay voice" and "sounds gay." What was most disappointing was that despite this being a multi-generational family gathering, not a single person at their table spoke up, corrected him, or tried to stop the toxic behavior. Instead, the woman who I assume is his mom egged him on.
At that point, their table decided to get up and leave. But as they walked away, the same guy looked at my husband and told him to “open his small eyes." Given that the majority of our table is Asian, the racial undertone of that comment felt incredibly deliberate and malicious.
The Montesacro staff was great—they immediately told the other table that their behavior was entirely unwelcome and that they didn’t need to go there.
Even though the staff handled it well and the instigators left, I am just so furious and upset (therefore up at 5a posting this). My kids had to witness adults acting like bigoted bullies over a literal umbrella, while an entire family sat by and let it happen. Has anyone else encountered this group or this kind of blatant hostility in the area lately?