Advice?
Hii, I am sorta new to this I'd say i am a pretty spiritual person coming from a strong bloodline of seeing the unknown, about 2 and half months ago I began getting a lot of Santa muerte content on my feed and I felt incredibly drawn to her and her beauty not to mention the things stands for but having recently left Catholicism (my grandma who's a very religious woman raised me early childhood and always pushed me into it even till now) I came to the realization now that I am spiritual but not religious (only my mother and father know) which I adore bc there is absolutely something out there, Gods, deities, mother nature, the universe (I'd love to know them ALL) but I refuse to fit into a box yk? But even so I find myself questioning whether this is me or just another way for me to cope with religious guilt??? I am not sure if that's the right word but I do know that Mami is real and she's very true ☹️, I came to La santa muerte about 2 and a half months ago as a visitor talking with her and making a petition about a situation I had/have going on and i know Mami works on her own timeline and she can see how things we'll play out she's always loved and comforted me during our time together and even so now. I'd love to devote myself to her when I am free too (I live with my grandma and family as we take care of her) and with my situation I gave her promised reward as I didn't wanna go over the petition date I thanked her for everything she gave me as she was my biggest comfort in it all but even now I feel she is still here watching over me bc I know my petition was answered it's js working on its timeline that it's meant to be on but I can't help but feel antsy sometimes? Like things work in a interesting way and they come close to what I asked for but then it goes dies down ? like a wave in a way it almost hits the goal but doesn't exactly yet? So what does this all mean (i am currently trying to get into witchcraft as well, Tarot too because it interests me very much but I am taking it slow as I don't wanna do anything crazy. Background on my family: Mom is Mexican, and a bit Spaniard? But it's also talked abt on that side of possible Aztec blood and that her great great grandfather was a shapeshifter, Dad is Mexican, Native American, and Filipino not much is known abt my Filipino side other than our last name, we do practice some Native American practices such as Sage cleansing, talking to Mother nature etc hence my father has always said we've been able to see and hear unexplainable things bc we share Native Blood and we all have seen things and heard things even my mother has, I'd also love to be more intuned with gifts I might possibly have? I've always been quite the lucky person myself but thinking now is it really all luck? And my grandma being the catholic woman she is doesnt believe in any of this stuff despite hearing and knowing abt it bc her husband my grandpa would always see things and hear things she always js blocked it out and when my tia wanted to embrace her Native American side once my grandpa passed my grandma shut her down as it wasn't aligned with her beliefs but eventually let her still she does enforces Catholicism in everyone's lives)