u/yunggilda

I (29 F) have had horrible periods since I was a teen, and a few years ago was diagnosed with uterus fibroids. I recently went to to doctor to see if things had progressed due to worsening symptoms. After a pap and ultrasound, it turns out not only do I have the fibroids but one of my ovaries is measuring at 11 cm. They’re not sure why, but it needs to come out, they’re testing my levels for ovarian cancer and I’m still waiting to hear back. My doctor scheduled my surgery for a month from now to remove my uterus and the abnormal ovary (unless I have cancer then we’ll pause the surgery to see the best route).

I don’t want kids so that part isn’t an issue for me. I’m a little worried about my support system though . A year ago I moved to a new city in a different state from my friends and family. I have one friend that lives nearby from high school but otherwise I don’t know anyone but my coworkers. At the beginning of 2026 I met someone (29M) on an app and we’ve been dating since late January. He’s on the spectrum, which I only mention cause it plays into this situation. Since I found out about needing surgery I’ve been very stressed. I have to take 6 weeks off work to recover and will be essentially helpless for most of that time.

My family has offered to take turns visiting to help me during recovery, but my sisters all have kids and my dad works so they won’t be able to stay long. My boyfriend has said he will be here for me through it all, but in the last week he’s shown that he doesn’t handle stressful situations like this well. I was venting to him about the surgery after my doctors appointment and he could barely muster up responses other than “damn that sucks” and “I’m sorry”. he came over two nights later and I was quiet because I’m stressed about everything and he barely spoke as we watched tv then went to bed. He came over tonight and after sitting silently for 30 minutes I started crying and said I wished he would ask what’s wrong or if I’m okay when I’m clearly stressed and abnormally quiet. He said he “doesn’t know what to say or do to comfort me” and I told him he could ask me what I need or literally just how he can comfort me in the moment. He apologized and said okay then continued to sit in silence for 30 more minutes until I stated crying again and took a shower. I came out and he apologized then went to bed.

I’m worried now because he’s all I really have to help me after the surgery. I won’t be able to even vacuum or do the dishes let alone take care of my two giant dogs. My friend that lives nearby has a kid and works two jobs as a single parent so I can’t rely on her for support. I love my boyfriend but I fear he’s not going to be able to handle what this entails even though he keeps saying he will. If he can barely handle talking to me about the situation before it even happens how if he going to handle me needing help to the bathroom, possibly having a catheter that I’ll need help with for a few days, irrational mood swings, heavy bleeding, medicine schedules, my extreme pain and discomfort, etc. I’ve explained most of what I’m going to go through to him and he says he’ll be there for me through it but I’m worried he’ll be there but be a silent observer who’s more stressed than me. Is there a good way to broach this topic again and make sure he can handle it? Because he says he can but I’m worried after how tonight went. Any advice helps.