r/50ShadesOfMJ

do you guys masturbate to him and if so do you do you do it only with fantasies in your head or do you use pictures? videos? which ones?

I posted about this crush months ago, but I’ll give a background for those who didn’t see the post.

I’m a female in my twenties. I have a really big crush on MJ. I am immensely attracted to him in all eras, but especially during his Bad era when he has the short wavy black hair. This crush has been going on and off since I was a tween. I’m not sure why I like him or what it is about him that I’m attracted to. I’m not necessarily a fan of him or his music or his artistry, so I don’t know why I’m so attracted to him or have a massive crush on him.

I can’t bring myself to look at a photo of him or say his name out loud because of my crush on him. If I see a photo of him anywhere, I instantly look away or cover it so that I don’t have to look at his face. If anyone talks about him or says anything positive about him - such as about his new biopic - I tend to act indifferent and cold and act like I don’t care about him so that no one will find out my true feelings about him. I can’t bring myself to say his full name, but only his initials MJ.

I don’t know why I like him but I am so attracted to him. I fantasize about kissing him and dating him and being in a romantic relationship with him.

When I first posted about this several months ago, I thought maybe I would feel differently by now. But nope. My crush is still in full force and my attraction to him is stronger than ever. And I’m embarrassed about my crush on him and being attracted to him.

Has anyone else experienced this and do you have any ideas on how I can weaken this crush?