r/AITAbasic

I (26F, Indian origin) made a friend J (27F, Swedish). During a rough patch — work, love life, and a visa nightmare — she invited me to dinner. We agreed on frozen food and drinks, with her condition that she didn’t want to get too drunk as she had plans the next day. She’s a very systematic, busy person: 4-hour daily commute, cares for a horse every other day, keeps an immaculate home.
The evening started great — frozen pizza, charcuterie, vodka mixed with probiotic drinks. We talked about love, men, danced drunkenly, sang along to “The Ordinary” by Alex Warren. Then my memory went to flashes. I projectile vomited, slipped in it, fell hard. J helped me up, got me into the shower, and held me while I sobbed about wanting to be loved. I passed out on her couch.
Morning was brutal. I have a history of serious gut issues that had resurfaced — vomiting bile, blinding headache. She made me hot water. I caught glimpses of her cleaning but assumed it was regular Sunday cleaning, unaware of the full extent of the damage. When she asked if I could head home — it being her only free day — I agreed. She even gave me a plastic bag for the commute, which I needed.
I texted her that afternoon, opened humorously, apologised profusely, and asked if I’d done anything embarrassing. No response for 24+ hours. Then a long message: she was glad I was okay, but disappointed I hadn’t offered to help after recovering. The vomit had hit the floor, carpet, walls, and a hallway dresser. She’d needed to call her parents for help — embarrassing for her — and felt I’d crossed her boundary about drinking.
I apologised deeply, offered to compensate anything, said I’d understand if she needed space. She asked to be reimbursed for the dresser. I sent the money immediately.
I booked an emergency therapy session. My therapist — who knows me well, knowing I have CPTSD, high anxiety, and am on antidepressants — reviewed the entire thread and said J was “being extremely unreasonable, only blaming and shaming me without giving me a chance to redeem myself.” She asked: “If roles were reversed, would you have done the same thing? Would you have shamed her? Would you have dumped all of this on her knowing what she’s going through? I see you here and you look beaten down.” My Swedish therapist also noted: “She and I are of the same culture and I would never do this to a loved one.”
Two other Swedish friends, who knew my gut issues firsthand, called J’s reaction rude and said they’d never prioritise material things over my health.
Still, I reached out to J saying I wished she’d just called me that morning — I would’ve come immediately. She replied it wasn’t her responsibility to ask me to clean up my own mess. I acknowledged that but said I simply hadn’t known the full extent due to memory gaps, and wished she’d come to me directly instead of parents. She brought up that I’d asked for a blanket while she was scrubbing floors. We agreed to disagree; she saw no fault in herself whatsoever.
We haven’t spoken since. My visa was rejected and I’ve moved away, but this still eats at me.
AITA? Did she overreact? Was this just miscommunication and human error?

PS - DRUNKEN STUPOR

I (28F) & my boyfriend (30M) have been living together for about a year. (Note: I own the home)

I have always been an animal lover and have a HUGE soft spot for animals. I have had all different kinds of pets growing up, and currently have 3 rescue cats each found and rescued from different situations.

Less than 2 months ago, I was driving to work and found a dog running on the side of the road. I immediately stopped my car and did everything I could to catch him. Long story short, I did lure him into my car with beef jerky, took him to the vet, located his old owner, who told me her husband did not like dogs and offered me to keep him.

I did.

He is a very sweet 5 year old dog who is affectionate, goofy, and snores adorably loud. The cats have been getting more used to him, and my boyfriend started to really like him — even though he did NOT want to keep him and was adamant at first he wanted to give him away.

Fast forward to now, things were good and we have enjoyed our new dog aside from some accidents inside the house and the occasional trash raid.

However, today I arrived home and was preparing food. I dropped a wrapper on the floor and our dog picked it up and walked away with it. I asked my boyfriend to grab it so he doesn’t swallow it.

He walks up to our dog from behind, reaches for it, dog growls, then snaps at his hands and successfully gives him a cut on both hands. He takes a step back, stands there, frozen — still staring at our dog, and the dog jumps up and snaps once more at him. Before anything else could happen, I stood up, shouted “ *dog name* NO!” And our dog immediately stopped. I let him outside and shut the door.

My boyfriend did not have serious injuries (scratches on his wrist, one 1”-1.5” long cut that bled a bit on his finger) but was visibly shaken up.

My boyfriend immediately told me he wanted to splatter the dogs brains all over, that he would kill him if he ever did anything like this again, or take him directly to the vet to be put down, that “that’s what happens when a dog bites the hand that feeds them” and was upset that I did not want to kill my dog over this.

I tried to compromise by immediately booking a consultation for anti-food aggression dog training, and that for now if it made him feel safer we could use a shock collar (I know, I didn’t want to but this was a last resort).

He told me he no longer felt comfortable in the home with our dog there, would not come downstairs if the dog was here, and refused to let him outside or feed him anymore.

I completely understand he is upset and was injured. It’s not okay. However, I do not agree with him that I should kill my dog over this.

I feel slightly bad because after it happened I asked him why the hell he crept up behind our dog and tried to grab food out of his mouth — that he could have shoved him away from him and asserted some kind of dominance.

Boyfriend also left to get food and before he would come back in the house, he made me lock the dog outside. I eventually let him back in and our dog was back to his normal self, not even a bark, and is currently sleeping.

I’m not sure what to do to make this eventually better…he says that “thing” is no longer his dog, and he wants it dead. He said I downplayed what happened and I didn’t take him seriously.

I’m honestly still shocked this happened because our dog has never done anything at all like this before to me. Even my boyfriend has taken things away from him before without incident. I also feel the way he handled and reacted to this incident made me lose a little respect for him…although yes he was bitten, I am a little confused how he was this terrified. I admittedly have had big dogs my whole life and have actually been bitten similarly a few times, but never once wanted to kill an animal over resource guarding.

I told him that I would not get rid of my dog, and that if he was afraid to stay here he could move out. I’m worried that we will end up breaking up over this.

So Reddit, AITA for choosing my dog over my boyfriend?

AITA for getting upset that my girlfriend keeps accusing me of looking at other women and sometimes gets physical with me?

I (28M) have been with my girlfriend (26F) for two years. I love her deeply. I’m genuinely attracted to her, our sex life is great, and I’ve never cheated, flirted, or even looked at another woman in a way that would disrespect her.

But she frequently accuses me of “checking out” other girls when we’re in public. Sometimes it’s someone walking by, sometimes it’s a waitress, sometimes it’s literally someone on TV or in a movie. The thing is: I’m not doing it. At all. I’m not even tempted. I’m madly in love with her.

These accusations get much worse when she’s on her period. I understand hormones can make emotions stronger, and I try to be patient and supportive. But it gets to a level I’ve never experienced before with anyone. I grew up around women, I’ve dated before, and I’ve never had this kind of issue.

When she gets into this mindset, I can’t reason with her. She’ll yell at me, accuse me of being “distracted by other girls,” and a few times she has pushed me or hit me out of anger. I’ve never yelled back or gotten physical. I just shut down or walk away because I don’t know how to handle it.

Afterward, she’ll calm down and act like nothing happened, or say she was just “emotional.” But the accusations come back the next month, and the cycle repeats.

We live together and I want a future with her, but this is becoming a huge problem for me. I’ve never given her a reason to distrust me, and being yelled at or shoved over something I didn’t even do is wearing me down. I don’t know how to bring this up without her getting defensive or angry again.

So Reddit… AITA for feeling like this behavior is becoming a dealbreaker and wanting it to stop?