r/AntinatalismSupport

I normally sleep in an hour or so of hitting the bed.

I'm alone lonely who the F cares.it does not even makes sense at this point.

my life turned out in a certain way..very incidental and nothing I would brag or preach about.

I accepted my fate long back and made peace with how it would turn out.

Over the years as I grew up I found ways to overcome the pressing thought of being all alone and no one to share what I'm going through or share any good experiences.

I learned to tackle these thoughts BUT

There are nights I would just lie down, all calm and wonder why ?

A happy home, a fulfilling life, someone to be my safe place or me being someone's safe place. All these never happened for me.

It don't scare or sadden me anymore.

I just wonder if I never existed I didn't have to face none of this the experience of loneliness and emptiness.

Just feeling so hollow and in the darkness of the room it feels as if I'm becoming a part of it.

The darkness of the night slowly consumes me and consoles me that it feels more humane than any thing I have experienced with humans.

Feels as if the darkness of the room gives me a sense of temporary non existence and a feel of scattering out in the void that brings me respite even for a few moments from the mundane and unnecessary existence.

Existence was never necessary. Had I not existed I had to go through non of this. What an unspeakable apathy!

Not asking for sympathy or anything. Just unable to sleep tonight with stray thoughts. So shared them here.

How do you actually move forward once you fully realise how much of a hellish sham this existence is? Every day I want to "walk the plank" so to speak, this can't be it surely? I just don't see any way of making peace with the way physical existence is and the only time I get any semblance of relief is when I'm asleep or intoxicated, I hate the fact I can only experience my own mind and that I'm stuck in the body of someone with autism, a severe anxiety disorder, OCD and ugly to boot

I hate how disgusting most humans are and that I'm forced to just exist in this world with them, I hate how literally just my physical appearance and my autism is enough for people to treat me markedly worse due to uncontrollable primitive subconscious impulses that essentially tells their brain to immediately dislike me, like what do I do? How do I actually cope? Drinking is obviously not a solution because eventually the body will fail due to it, neither is just sleeping as much as I can, and no distractions really work either, and seeing distractions for what they are, just distractions, kinda stops the distractions from working anyway, genuinely don't actually know what to do

I still try everyday to retain some hope that maybe eventually I could make peace with it or gain a different perspective and finally be content, but I'm losing hope more and more as this existence and my dire circumstances continue to chip away at my spirit, im just exhausted and drained 24/7

I've always wanted children as a christian thought it was my purpose to pro create. After I have had a baby man I hate it here. No one should be having kids and putting yourself through this. Your partner completely switches up on you on top of going insane from postpartum hormones.

I know most of you don't need much convincing. But don't do it. I feel wrong saying this but I just needed to say it out loud. Don't have children please enjoy your childless life. Have fun and keep spreading the message.

I've had many people make fun of, bully, and tell me to kill myself because of what I believe. And the worst part about that to me isn't even the ridicule, it's the fact that THESE people are the ones who want to have kids. If you resort to telling someone to kill themselves over a fucking disagreement, what makes you think you have the capacity to raise an ENTIRE living being?

I discovered antinatalism in my late teens due to the feeling that there was something deeply wrong with life itself.

As I've gotten older, not only has my belief that not having children is the most loving thing a parent can do, but also my belief that life itself should never have existed.

Even though I'll never regret my decision towards not having children and will get a vasectomy in my 30s.

I am so lonely.

Besides a few internet people who get it, I have nobody irl.

Which leads to my question, how do I find others who get it?

I know people recommend dating apps, but it's been a terrible experience for me.

Not only due to getting low matches but also because people who are child-free on the app, choose it because of economic reasons, not due to pessimistic views towards life.

Most people have never heard of an and even if they did, they reject it due to existential questions that most are too weak to face.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life alone, but i also don't want to spend it with people that I have to mask my views towards existence from.

I am not meant to be alone, and yet I feel like I have no other choice.

I want friends. I want a significant other. I want a support system. I want to belong. I want my little village and tribe.

I feel like I'm doomed to spend my life alone and in isolation due to realizing the truth about existence.

Have any of you found friends, a support system, or a significant other while being an.

Is there any hope, or should I just accept that it's just the way it is?

I'm turning 30 this year. My life is just never-ending loneliness and the desire for companionship. I have been through so many rejections, I've been ghosted countless of times. I've had a few short relationships that ultimately failed. I have moved abroad not long ago and I've been struggling a lot with making friends and dating. Just failures after failures. Ghosted, rejected, even blocked for whatever reason. I think the common denominator is me.

No matter what I do - hobbies, jobs, events, meetups - this desire for companionship never shuts up and lately it's been overwhelming. I am tired of doing everything alone. I wish for someone next to me. Talk, hug, do something together. Sit by the river, drink coffee. Have someone to come home to.

Not only dating is exhausting in itself, I'm also antinatalist and of course childfree, which means that the already small pool is even smaller. The thought of my future just being never ending emptiness and loneliness feels bleak. Some people are happy being single, travelling, doing hobbies. That's just not me.

Ultimately, it reassures my antinatalist stance even more because why would I bring anyone here to a world where 3/4 of life is spent in crippling loneliness and struggling to connect.

I have already lost a lot of people in my short life (23F), lost another member of my family a few hours ago after a long battle with cancer. Really, the only thing I notice is how everything just keeps going, painfully so. The world won’t stop for you to mourn, your boss or professor may show at least some sympathy and give you time to grieve but there is always that expectation that you’ll come back, if you don’t you loose that job or fail that class. I have considered the outlook that love is worth the pain for that is the cost of it. That the connection and memories are ultimately worth the suffering that comes with loss. But the thought of subjecting my own hypothetical kid to this? I can’t comprehend it. I am terrified of the day I will loose my Mother, the moment I think of it for more than a few seconds I feel myself tear up.

Grief doesn’t go away, it doesn’t get easier. I lost my Nana in a traumatic way 3 years ago. According to some and a school system, that should be more than enough time to have ‘moved on’. These people don’t know my life, they don’t know that she was a huge part of it, that I loved her with everything I had. I miss her every day. After loosing someone else today, I feel numb to be honest. I cried for about a minute when he passed, then just nothing. I miss him, last thing I remember is the hug he gave me, then cancer took him away. I had made plans to spend more time with him this summer, something that will never happen now.

Him being gone doesn’t stop my deadlines. Him being gone changes nothing in the world but it changes the lives he was in. I have mourned and mourned and mourned. Family after family, friend after friend. He makes the 5th person I’ve lost to an incurable disease. I want to hope that one day there is a cure for these things I’ve lost people to; Cancers, Parkinson’s, MND… any disease and illness I hope, truly hope that a cure is found but I can’t bring myself to even think of having a child if there is a chance, any at all that they get one or have to watch their loved ones die to it. It’s a horrible thing, it was horrible to watch him get weaker and weaker, there was a brief moment where I thought he was getting better only for him to be gone altogether.

I know there is only more grief awaiting me in life. One day I’ll see my Mother go, I may see my older brother go too. I will mostly likely see friends go too. The world will keep turning whilst mine gets slower and colder with each and every loss. I will remember them all, mourn them all. It will affect my grades, my jobs, my life, but the world will tell me to keep going because we have a system where if you can’t function, then you’re left behind. If the cost of love is a lifetime of grief but being told you have to keep going because you can’t afford to stop, then it’s not something I could bring a child into. I couldn’t never ask for them to experience this purely for the sake of me having one. Grief is something I don’t even wish on the people I hate, so how could I ever ask that of my kid?