r/AskAboutLove

I’m a youth leader at church and I see the women youth leaders holding the little kids hands all the time . No one thinks anything of it , but then last week one of the male youth leaders was holding a kids hand as they were walking down the hall and rumors started spreading about it and then he was told he can’t do that . Why do people look at men like pervs for everything when women will do the same thing and it’s not considered weird.

There's this guy I follow on Instagram, 25 years old, based somewhere in the Midwest. By pretty much every conventional measure he's got it together. Runs every day, training seriously to become a pro ultra-marathon runner, owns his own house, graduated college with a 4.0, good looking, outgoing, doesn't drink, sleeps early, lives frugally. The kind of person most people would look at and think "how is that guy single?"

And yet he's never had a serious girlfriend. Rarely even dates from what I can tell.

It got me genuinely curious because he's not the awkward, shy, socially withdrawn type you might expect this story to be about. He seems like someone who has genuinely built himself into an exceptional person across the board.

So what gives? Is it the lifestyle? Ultra-marathon training is pretty consuming and the schedule that comes with it, early bedtimes, no drinking, long solo runs, probably doesn't leave much room for a social life or dating. Is it location? The Midwest dating pool might just be a different experience than a major city. Or is it simply that he hasn't prioritized it yet and is laser focused on his athletic goals?

I'm not saying anything is wrong with him at all. I actually admire the guy. I'm just genuinely curious why someone who seems to have everything going for them can still be completely unlucky in that one area of life.

Has anyone else noticed this pattern? What do you think is really going on?

My partner and I are getting more serious and I need to have an uncomfortable money conversation.

I have savings and some family money that I want to protect if we move in together or eventually get married. I am not trying to plan a breakup before the relationship even fails. I just watched my parents make messy financial decisions and I promised myself I would be careful.

The problem is, every way I rehearse the conversation makes me sound cold. Like, "I love you, but also please sign paperwork proving you will not take my stuff" is not exactly romantic.

I do trust my partner. I also think trust and legal protection are not the same thing.

How do I bring up finances, prenup-type boundaries, or protecting separate assets without making my partner feel like I see them as a threat?