r/AskAnIndian

I’ve noticed that a lot of Indians see “making it abroad” as the ultimate success—getting an onsite job, studying overseas, settling there permanently, or even marrying a foreign partner. It made me wonder: **what exactly is it about those cultures that people find so appealing?**

For those who’ve lived abroad or grown up in multicultural environments, what are the parenting or family values that genuinely stand out?

Personally, I feel many Indian parents could benefit from things like:

Not constantly comparing children with relatives or neighbors.

Letting children have their own opinions, even if they disagree.

Encouraging career choices based on interest instead of social status.

Supporting mental health instead of dismissing it as “overthinking.”

Treating adult children with respect rather than expecting unquestioning obedience.
Not using guilt, fear, or “log kya kahenge” as parenting tools.

Allowing children more freedom in choosing their partner instead of assuming arranged marriage is the only acceptable path.

I’m not saying Western cultures are perfect—every culture has its own problems. Indian families also have strengths like close family bonds, caring for parents, and strong community support.

I’m just curious: **if so many people dream of living abroad, what aspects of family life or parenting there do you think make the biggest difference?**
People who’ve experienced both Indian and foreign cultures—what would you keep from each, and what would you change?

Just a rant

Working as middle class in a government job .

The maid has a grandson . He is 2 years younger than my son...

Being middle class , I tend to celebrate his birthday on a tight budget ... should not exceed 5 K .its the same amount since last 5-6 years .

Mostly a 1 kg cake , 3 to 4 pizza , some potato chips and maybe some home made juice for 10-15 of the neighbour hood kids ..

Her grandson 1 st birthday 1 lakh in a party hall

2 nd birthday onwards the budget is 30K minimum.

Last month there was a medical emergency and they had to borrow money ...the birthday was postponed due to this . Once the mother had recovered in 10 -15 days time , the party was again back on track at a 30K expenditure

I am confused and aghast

Just a rant

Working as middle class in a government job .

The maid has a grandson . He is 2 years younger than my son...

Being middle class , I tend to celebrate his birthday on a tight budget ... should not exceed 5 K .its the same amount since last 5-6 years .

Mostly a 1 kg cake , 3 to 4 pizza , some potato chips and maybe some home made juice for 10-15 of the neighbour hood kids ..

Her grandson 1 st birthday 1 lakh in a party hall

2 nd birthday onwards the budget is 30K minimum.

Last month there was a medical emergency and they had to borrow money ...the birthday was postponed due to this . Once the mother had recovered in 10 -15 days time , the party was again back on track at a 30K expenditure

I am confused and aghast

Isnt it will be a good business if someone made something like this, which can be purchased in every Household. With good marketing. All the rotimakers i saw had bad reviews. Why any good company is not investing in the indian kitchen?

Hi!! I have a question about the meaning of age or maybe aging in your culture.

What sparked this curiosity was one of the men working at my local gas stations. On two different occasions it was brought up. I had said something about getting old and he was saying something about no no it’s a great thing a blessing. Which right aging is a blessing but it seems there’s more to it as far as how it’s viewed in your culture. I tried to ask questions to better understand but he does have a thick accent and I think some was lost in translation.

I love learning about different cultures and these types of things. Maybe there’s nothing special about it and I was misunderstanding. Buttt… is there? Maybe something with birthdays?

I’m a woman, I don’t know if it is gender specific.

And I apologize if this isn’t worded correctly!

So right now I am litterly crying because of what happened just a minute ago , I am 20+ of age man and I am not earning money right now I am in college and the reason why I am not earning money right now is not because I don't want to work but because my parents don't want me to earn by myself , when ever I said I want to work they just don't want me to any job other then government job which is why I am still unemployed and if I want anything for I have to ask for money to them which I do not feel comfortable to do + the criticism I have to face after asking money. And today was same but more heart breaking words from them . They just don't want to listen or understand what I am saying in their view I am just a zero who can't do a thing like getting a government job. Now I clueless of what to do . And confuse and don't even know what to even ask anyone anymore .

Look, India being the biggest democracy in the world sounds great on paper. "Power to the people" and all that. But honestly, watching how it actually works makes me think mass democracy in a poor country like ours has some serious problems.

I'm not saying poor people shouldn't vote or anything like that. But when most of your voters are struggling daily — low education, worried about food and jobs — they naturally go for whoever promises quick relief. Free electricity, loan waivers, cash handouts, reservations... politicians know exactly how to play this game and win elections with short-term populism.

States go bankrupt chasing these freebies. Development projects get delayed or canceled because long-term stuff doesn't win votes. Caste, religion, and "my community" politics become way more important than actual good governance. Rational economic decisions? Forget it.

A huge chunk of people get their news from WhatsApp and local leaders, so emotional slogans and identity stuff beat boring policy talk every time. The result is massive corruption in welfare schemes, leaking money everywhere while the poor still suffer.

We've had some real progress in India — tech, middle class growth, infrastructure in some places — but a lot of it happened despite the system, not because of it. Compare it to how Singapore pushed through tough reforms without worrying about the next election and angry uneducated voters.

I still believe in democracy, but pure majoritarian democracy without better education, stricter rules on populism, or some checks seems to drag countries down when most people aren't ready for it. India is a living example.

Same as the title
What makes you an India?
Just being born in India is enough for all of you to be called Indian?

So my mom made rajma today and obviously I managed to get it all over my shirt. It's a white cotton one I actually wear to office.
I rinsed it immediately with water and the colour has faded but theres still this yellowish turmeric mark. I've scrubbed it twice with detergent, but it's still there.
Any suggestions what should I do? Can I remove it at home or do I need a dry cleaner? The shirt is not expensive but I like it and I'm already annoyed at myself so would appreciate genuine advice. Please no shouldn't have worn white, i am already regretting

Hi all. Hope you can help me. This may just be a regional verbal habit but I can't help feel miffed. All my specifically male Indian colleagues tend to preface statements to me with the word "actually". Like I will say "The sky is blue" and they'll come back with "actually, it really is blue" or something like that. In the English I'm used to "actually" means you are correcting someone. And in a bit of a rude way, actually ;) But I swear the rest of the chat etc is not rude at all. Is this a regional kind of verbal tic kind of thing? And the ladies never say it. What's going on here?

Here’s the text of the post (from AITA): “I (46F) recently went on a Disney cruise with my sister, my husband (47M), and my daughter (9F). My husband is technically her stepdad but he’s been in her life for years and they generally have a good relationship.

Every night we had dinner in the main restaurant on the ship, and after a few nights we got to know our waiters pretty well. I’ll call them Das (M, probably in his 30s, from India) and Roy (M, late 20s or 30s, from France). They were both extremely friendly and great with my daughter, remembering her favorite drinks and joking around with her.

At one point earlier in the trip, my daughter admitted to me privately that she had a small crush on Das. I didn’t think much of it, as he’s a very handsome Indian guy and very kind, and it seemed like the typical innocent kid crush on an adult who’s nice to them.

On the second-to-last night of the cruise, my husband and I felt like we could use a little adult time during dinner. At that point the waiters had already finished serving and there was a dance area in the middle of the restaurant where staff were dancing with guests.

I suggested my daughter go dance with Das. She immediately got very shy and said she didn’t want to, but I honestly thought she was just embarrassed because of the crush she had told me about earlier.

So I called Das over and said something like, “Hey, my daughter wants to dance with you!” My daughter froze up and said “noooo” in a whiny voice. My husband leaned in and, in a quiet but firm voice, told her to go dance and do what Mom says because the adults needed some alone time.

She was holding an ice cream bar, so I gently took it from her and told her it would still be there when she got back, and nudged her toward the dance area. She looked uncomfortable at first, but after a bit it seemed like she loosened up and might have been having some fun.

When she came back to the table afterward, Das came over to check if we needed anything else. Then he asked my daughter if she wanted to see an Indian greeting. She said yes, so he asked her to lay her hand flat on the table. He then leaned down and kissed the top of her hand. My daughter looked shocked and upset and quickly pulled her hand back. I reassured her that in his culture it can be a greeting or sign of respect and that he wasn’t trying to be inappropriate (I’ve been to India before and have seen similar gestures).

However, after that she was noticeably quiet for the rest of the trip. Looking back on it, I’m starting to wonder if maybe I pushed her too far outside her comfort zone. At the time I just thought I was helping her socialize and overcome shyness.

My husband says it wasn’t a big deal and that kids need to learn to be social, but AITA for pushing her to dance with Das and then letting him kiss her hand?”