I don’t really know how to say this without it sounding harsher than I mean it, but I’ve been struggling a lot with my family lately.
Over the past few years, I’ve become strongly anti-caste and increasingly uncomfortable with religious dogma. This wasn’t sudden or rebellious for the sake of it came from reading, thinking, and trying to align my values with what I believe is fair and humane. Books and people have helped me a lot to understand the suffering of the past and present. I don't believe I understand it fully, but I try to.
The problem is that my parents and my sister don’t see it that way at all.
For them, caste and religion are not just beliefs; they’re part of identity, culture, and “how things are.” So when I question or reject those ideas, they take it very personally. Conversations turn into arguments, and arguments turn into silence or passive distance. Sometimes it feels like they see me as disrespectful or “too influenced,” rather than someone who has thought things through.
I’ve started noticing small things, comments, dismissals, the way they avoid certain topics with me, or how quickly discussions escalate. It’s not always loud conflict, but it’s constant enough that I feel like I have to filter myself in my own home.
What hurts the most is that I’m not trying to attack them. I’m just trying to live in a way that feels ethically consistent to me. But it feels like that alone is enough to create distance between us. This escalates into something more and often leads to bitterness.
My sister, on the other hand, is on "caste-pride"; she believes there is nothing wrong with being proud of your caste. I told her it is because it reinforces that we are somehow better than that. But she started to scream and demean me. While that is a different story, and I would not go into it.
I don’t think they “hate” me, but I do feel misunderstood and, at times, isolated. And I don’t know how to bridge that gap without either suppressing myself or constantly fighting.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar, especially in the context of caste or religion? How do you maintain relationships without giving up your core beliefs? I don’t really know how to say this without it sounding harsher than I mean it, but I’ve been struggling a lot with my family lately.
Over the past few years, I’ve become strongly anti-caste and increasingly uncomfortable with religious dogma. This wasn’t sudden or rebellious for the sake of it came from reading, thinking, and trying to align my values with what I believe is fair and humane. Books and people have helped me a lot to understand the suffering of the past and present. I don't believe I understand it fully, but I try to.
The problem is that my parents and my sister don’t see it that way at all.
For them, caste and religion are not just beliefs; they’re part of identity, culture, and “how things are.” So when I question or reject those ideas, they take it very personally. Conversations turn into arguments, and arguments turn into silence or passive distance. Sometimes it feels like they see me as disrespectful or “too influenced,” rather than someone who has thought things through.
I’ve started noticing small things, comments, dismissals, the way they avoid certain topics with me, or how quickly discussions escalate. It’s not always loud conflict, but it’s constant enough that I feel like I have to filter myself in my own home.
What hurts the most is that I’m not trying to attack them. I’m just trying to live in a way that feels ethically consistent to me. But it feels like that alone is enough to create distance between us. This escalates into something more and often leads to bitterness.
My sister, on the other hand, is on "caste-pride"; she believes there is nothing wrong with being proud of your caste. I told her it is because it reinforces that we are somehow better than that. But she started to scream and demean me. While that is a different story, and I would not go into it.
I don’t think they “hate” me, but I do feel misunderstood and, at times, isolated. And I don’t know how to bridge that gap without either suppressing myself or constantly fighting.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar, especially in the context of caste or religion? How do you maintain relationships without giving up your core beliefs?I don’t really know how to say this without it sounding harsher than I mean it, but I’ve been struggling a lot with my family lately.
Over the past few years, I’ve become strongly anti-caste and increasingly uncomfortable with religious dogma. This wasn’t sudden or rebellious for the sake of it came from reading, thinking, and trying to align my values with what I believe is fair and humane. Books and people have helped me a lot to understand the suffering of the past and present. I don't believe I understand it fully, but I try to.
The problem is that my parents and my sister don’t see it that way at all.
For them, caste and religion are not just beliefs; they’re part of identity, culture, and “how things are.” So when I question or reject those ideas, they take it very personally. Conversations turn into arguments, and arguments turn into silence or passive distance. Sometimes it feels like they see me as disrespectful or “too influenced,” rather than someone who has thought things through.
I’ve started noticing small things, comments, dismissals, the way they avoid certain topics with me, or how quickly discussions escalate. It’s not always loud conflict, but it’s constant enough that I feel like I have to filter myself in my own home.
What hurts the most is that I’m not trying to attack them. I’m just trying to live in a way that feels ethically consistent to me. But it feels like that alone is enough to create distance between us. This escalates into something more and often leads to bitterness.
My sister, on the other hand, is on "caste-pride"; she believes there is nothing wrong with being proud of your caste. I told her it is because it reinforces that we are somehow better than that. But she started to scream and demean me. While that is a different story, and I would not go into it.
I don’t think they “hate” me, but I do feel misunderstood and, at times, isolated. And I don’t know how to bridge that gap without either suppressing myself or constantly fighting.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar, especially in the context of caste or religion? How do you maintain relationships without giving up your core beliefs?I don’t really know how to say this without it sounding harsher than I mean it, but I’ve been struggling a lot with my family lately.
Over the past few years, I’ve become strongly anti-caste and increasingly uncomfortable with religious dogma. This wasn’t sudden or rebellious for the sake of it came from reading, thinking, and trying to align my values with what I believe is fair and humane. Books and people have helped me a lot to understand the suffering of the past and present. I don't believe I understand it fully, but I try to.
The problem is that my parents and my sister don’t see it that way at all.
For them, caste and religion are not just beliefs; they’re part of identity, culture, and “how things are.” So when I question or reject those ideas, they take it very personally. Conversations turn into arguments, and arguments turn into silence or passive distance. Sometimes it feels like they see me as disrespectful or “too influenced,” rather than someone who has thought things through.
I’ve started noticing small things, comments, dismissals, the way they avoid certain topics with me, or how quickly discussions escalate. It’s not always loud conflict, but it’s constant enough that I feel like I have to filter myself in my own home.
What hurts the most is that I’m not trying to attack them. I’m just trying to live in a way that feels ethically consistent to me. But it feels like that alone is enough to create distance between us. This escalates into something more and often leads to bitterness.
My sister, on the other hand, is on "caste-pride"; she believes there is nothing wrong with being proud of your caste. I told her it is because it reinforces that we are somehow better than that. But she started to scream and demean me. While that is a different story, and I would not go into it.
I don’t think they “hate” me, but I do feel misunderstood and, at times, isolated (especially). And I don’t know how to bridge that gap without either suppressing myself or constantly fighting.
Has anyone else dealt with something similar, especially in the context of caste or religion? How do you maintain relationships without giving up your core beliefs?