r/CatOwners

Hi everyone, I’ve been wanting a cat for so long and I am seriously considering adopting one at some point this year. There are a couple things that I am ruminating about and I would love to hear any advice/thoughts. Thanks in advance…

-I grew up in an Asian household with a father who is against pets. I am 28 now and live in an apartment w my partner pursuing doctorate studies. I’ve communicated with my family that I want a cat and they seem to be mostly onboard, but I know my dad isn’t enthusiastic about it. He says it’s fine if I take care of it and he doesn’t want more responsibilities in his life, which I totally understand and I would (of course) assume all responsibilities for my pet. But I can tell there might be some feelings there that he is not communicating. I’ve been living my life seeking approval from my dad for so long, and this is one thing I really want for myself. I usually go home for weekends with my partner to my family home about 30 miles away and I worry that my parents will think that I am selfish for not going home so often once I get my pet. I was planning visiting once a month and then them coming to visit me once a month too. Has anyone had similar feelings of guilt/experiences? If so, how did you overcome this or deal with this???

-I also know I will be staying at my current apartment for 2 more years, but will move after that. Is it okay to move with my cat after 2 years to a new place? I know they don’t like change and are territorial. Should I reconsider adopting until I am more settled in a place?

-lastly, how often do you travel as a cat owner? I don’t travel a lot, maybe once every two years for 1-2week trips, but shorter weekend trips maybe every few months? My partner is moving up north for the next two years so I might go visit for a weekend every few months but he is planning to come to me more than me going up there.

Thank you so much for any advice/help/thoughts. I really appreciate it.

We have 4 senior cats , all rescues, that we love dearly and have with us for the last 13 years. We also have one toddler and planning to have one more child.

We had been living in flats but now will be moving to a two storey house. In the upper floor we will have 3 bedrooms , 2 bathrooms and a huge catio in the balcony with unlimited access, cat tree and toys. Also food and litter will be upstairs. My main concern and why i am thinking the above (keeping them confined upstairs) would be a good idea is the following :

• Protecting them from going out in the yard and going into the street - we have balcony doors but we might forget one open , or our toddler could open it - or if we have guests it will be difficult to remind them to close
• They are seniors and never had stairs before so i guess after going down they might have issues going up again
• Furniture is so much more expensive and although all bought as cat proof they will still make some damages (but honestly this is my least problem i dont mind)
• I am honestly really tired to be finding litter trails and hair on my kitchen countertops. We keep them off during the day but in the night they run around and make a mess. Its unhygienic and it started bothering us and the toddler (keeps finding hair everywhere)

Why i think its not the best idea :

• Lonely - they will get lonely throughout the day if we are home and they will hear us but cant get to us. - honestly i think this is the only con.

Saying that we can have a tall cat stair gate and keep close if needed , for example when guests come or when we are sleeping (and they sleep with us) or when we are not home. But do you think its too cruel to keep them upstairs permanently?

Thanks