I mean, it is quite rare to be honest. I still feel people judging me when I say I'm attracted to older women so I'm pretty sure there would have been some psychological challenges for older women as well. Maybe some sort of guilt?
I'm new to this sub! Wasn't sure where to ask this advice and thought this may be a good place to start.
I've very recently developed feelings for a guy I've been working with on a local committee. We've known each other for years, but recently started working closely together earlier this year when I became Chair and he became Vice Chair.
He's 33M. I'm 48F. He is mature for his age and I give off much younger vibes.
He consistently downplays our age difference whenever I bring it up. Before his birthday, I said something about forgetting how old he was turning but it was a lot younger than me. He said probably not that much. (He knows how old I actually am; we've had that conversation many times.)
Then he mentioned something about a young professionals event and I joked that I didn't get an invite bc I'm too old and he said he even feels old there bc it's all Gen Z kids and they say weird things lol and he says he feels like he relates more to my age.
Recently we were at another event. I was hugging everyone when they were leaving and went to hug him. He looked terrified! It was a very quick, awkward hug.
But he texts or calls (yes, calls!) me often, generally a couple times a week, mostly to talk about committee stuff. But we often talk about personal stuff as well like weekend plans, our day jobs, or hobbies. One night back in March (when we first took our leadership roles) we talked for an hour and a half. That night we talked about all kinds of stuff like where we grew up in town and all sorts of things.
One night recently after a meeting, we stood in the parking lot talking for like 20 minutes. He was in no rush to leave even though he had to get up early the next day.
It seems like even more lately he's been finding reasons to call or text. Like vaguely committee-related, but absolutely nothing urgent.
Would it be safe to say he's interested in me romantically? Or is he just being friendly?
He's been nothing but respectful, professional, and helpful. I suspect he's holding back to not cross a line because of our leadership roles and age difference. I think he's looking for a subtle green light from me to proceed. But I've been very wrong about male behavior in the past, sooo help lol.
Google Gemini says he's interested lol. What do you think?
M21 have been seeing her for over a year and a half now, it started out casual but as these things do, it changing into something far more committed
We have a roughly 15 year age gap and in short, I am nervous to go from a somewhat FWB status (altho at this point we are basically dating without the label), to a relationship (and looking for advice)
Also to mention, she does want to make this next step, and has given me space to think about it as I need, unbelievably kind and unnecessary thing to do for me
I'll list some worries and my overall thoughts on them as brief as possible in order of my concern level
Hurting her down the line:
I don't know how I am going to change in the next few years since this is the time of life of change, and to get into a relationship and then change down the line and no longer want to be a part of it... I would hate to cause that pain
On the same thought tho, this can happen in any relationship at any age, people change and sometimes they grow apart, should I worry about this? I don't know.
Parental disapproval:
Officially dating I would feel like I almost need to tell them even though I've kept it secret thus far
I grew up in a very high control religion that I have distanced myself from, but they are still a I grew up in a very high control religion that I have distanced myself from, but they are still in.
I'm financially dependent on them for 2–3 more years as a student and a bad reaction could seriously affect my ability to continue studying as I'd need student loans and so on to continue my studies
First relationship nerves:
Never done this before. Self-explanatory
Sexual experiences I haven't had:
Some things aren't compatible with monogamy. The relationship outweighs this, but it's sitting in the back of my mind (and worth being honest with myself about).
All advice appreciated, and please let me know if there's something I've missed
Hey, Greetings, cub here! Just wanted to ask about Hobbies and spending free time. First of all, I know that you should change what you do to satisfy your partner. I'm just curious about ways to spend the time with your partner. When you think about cubs and cougars spending time together it always come to me the idea of a fancy restaurant or a night club, my bet is that reality is really different.
Also, I know reality is really boring, and that most of the free time of adult life is spent trying to keep the house running, but what can I say? I think it's a horrible first date idea. Oh, another topic, dancing, I know is like the other to-go activity, but really not my cup of tea.
Sorry for the rumbling, what activities do you enjoy or find interesting as a couple?
Coworker of mine is literally all I can think of. I’m 30 and single and she is 43 mother of 4…unhappily married. She is the biggest smoke show I have ever seen. I’m so attracted to her physically and mentally. I know they are on the edge of divorce and I hate rooting for that but it just makes it one less hurdle for me trying to spark Something with her. In time of course. She is literally all I think about and I can’t not look at her or try and find time to stop And visit her. The energy is reciprocated so nothing weird. I just feel bad hoping for their split. Is this bad of me?
I'm a 34 year old fella who would prefer dating a mature woman. But on some of these dating apps, I don't always know who's real. First impressions are only photos, and I honestly look younger than I am. Maybe that's part of my problem because of the social stigma.
However, I know several singles at my church who are quite attractive. Most are divorced (it's a big church with small groups for divorcees), so I'm always respectful of their time and space. I've already experienced a little heartbreak with someone who is still a good friend. We just don't go out to eat together anymore, even though we enjoy each other's company at church.
How should I seem available to someone who may have more life experience than I have, and express my desire for a proper relationship in spite of an age gap?
27M here. A few years ago I worked with a woman who’s around 55. We were never particularly close, but we’ve stayed loosely connected over the years. Recently we reconnected via LinkedIn, and after some back-and-forth she suggested “to make some plans.” She even suggested coming over to my area (we live about 2 hours apart). For the record, she’s divorced and has one kid.
My question for the women here:
If you were a divorced woman in your 50s and made time to meet a much younger former coworker, what would typically be going through your mind? Would it be purely social? Curiosity? Just wanting to reconnect?
I’m curious whether women and men tend to interpret this situation differently.
I am new to the Reddit scene and experiencing a lot in this past few days (this site/app really is crazy sometimes)…
I love sexting and getting into it, either a slow build up or an intense impromptu change of pace. The thing is : I feel aroused whenever a woman look at me in a certain way. No matter the age. I do feel like older women have different bodies yet I do know the quality of an experienced mind and body.
How could I know if I could actually like it with a cougar
First time posting here. I’m 55, 5 years out of divorce and not looking for marriage/relationship escalator.
I’ve always dated younger but in the past it was only small gaps. I’m not keen on being labelled a cougar as it feels so predatory.
Since divorce I did have a lot of interest from significantly younger guys and it was fun to explore before I was ready for anything more serious. Then I did get into a committed relationship for 18 months and now ready again to dip my toes back.
I thought I was happy with solo poly but starting to realise I think that is mostly protecting myself from caring too deeply about one special person and maybe it’s time for me to get past that.
Anyway I’ve recently started a lovely new connection with a lovely 34m. When we started chatting I wasn’t expecting it to go anywhere but it’s been a couple of weeks of consistent and engaging messaging as well as one very lovely date and talking about arranging the next. He seems like a real old school gentleman and says he tends to date older (though also not quite as big a gap as this).
But I’m getting in my head a lot about can he really take me seriously and is that going to get in the way of this moving forward if it isn’t just for casual fun.
I’d love to hear from the cubs what it’s like for you with such a big gap (55f and 34m) and if you’re thinking more in terms of a fun short term experience vs actually genuinely interested in something more real and sustainable? At the moment we feel like a good match but I worry about what happens in 10+ years as I move into genuinely older age? Obviously a huge projection given we’ve only met once, but I’d like to hear the reality.
Always loved the song Qui and never imagined I might be considering myself in the much older lover role
Thanks!
Hey all,
genuine question here! I am in my mid to late 20s. I always have enjoyed and admired older women. I dont like using the term cougar and cub. My question here for you, what are some preferences you all look for when admiring younger men? I know everyone has types but I mean like rules but also what sort of things tell you "yea I like this guy"
A bit like Jude Law and Susan Sarandon in Alfie.
Against all odds, you meet a woman online or in the wild, it seems unreal. You have an unusual attraction and somehow you have found your way to each other. She ticks all the boxes. You start getting to know each other and you have visions of a relationship. She tells you of her divorce and you respond by balancing being sympathetic to her pain while showing that, in all the important ways, you are nothing like her ex. She mentions that she has been in a few relationships since her breakup. One was with a guy younger than you and it only ended because the guy could not stand up to his mother. And your response is what...
Hey everyone,
It’s been a while since I posted.
Hope everyone has been doing great!
Just a quick positive update as things have really started heating up with dating lately.
The connections I’ve been making feel genuine and meaningful and full chemistry that keeps things exciting. It’s been a great stretch of enjoying good conversations, warm vibes, and some memorable nights that leave me smiling. (And it’s Friday!! Haha woo!!)
Wishing you all a fantastic weekend ahead and hope it’s full of good energy and whatever makes you happy.
Staying grateful for these experiences and looking forward to more. Have an awesome weekend!
-Kyle M
On another note, kinda figuring my thoughts out on how to navigate these next chapters in my life. Full disclosure I also found out my moms a cougar lmao
Go Brazil 🇧🇷 ⚽️❗️