r/CrashLandingOnYou

Hey everyone. I'm very late to the party but I just finished watching the series. I don't know if this is the right place to discuss it, but I just wanted a place to share my thoughts, got a lot going through my head lol.

Im a guy that almost never cries, its been a long time since i did. The show was amazing and the acting was phenomenal. This is the first kdrama i ever watched (and honestly the first rom drama show I watched in general).

It's strange, i finished the show 2 days ago. Probably finished the entire thing within the span of two weeks maybe? When I initially watched the show, from start to finish, I did not cry at all. There were a few moments that were a little tear jerky for me but no tear shedding at all. For the vast majority of the show it was kinda funny, serious, goofy or really cheesy. Initially I felt like the romance scenes were over the top and pretty cheesy, but at the same time I was a sucker for them i must admit. For personal reasons I can't seek a relationship right now even though I want to, so the show was kinda filling in some sort of need for me.

I started to slowly realize that their relationship (Captain Ri and Se Ri) was a great, mature depiction of romance. They were a couple that sacrificed for each other, respected each other genuinely, expressed their care and affection through the 5 love languages. There didn't seem to be major toxicity overall, and both of them really put in effort in caring for each other.

I really appreciated the depiction of their romance in the show. There were a lot cool things about their relationship and their characters overall that I wanted to emulate for myself in the world. It honestly kind of re-shaped my perception in a way of how romance should be, how unconditional love actually looks like. That was surprising honestly. I didn't think a fictional TV show could do that.

I know that it is a fiction and there are unrealistic expectations in these shows people can pick up on, but I think one can discern what qualities or traits from Captain Ri or Yoon Se Ri we could practically emulate or strive for (e.g. Captain Ri being thoughtful for Se Ri with re-arranging her cabinet). I think they're great role models for what a healthy relationship could be.

The very bizarre thing is, since two days ago when I finished the show, I revisited the scenes on YouTube as I normally do when I finish an enjoyable show. I watched all the intense emotional scenes between the two leads, particularly two that come to mind (Yoon Se Ri's birthday, and the last goodbye scene at the DMZ before Ri Jeon Hyeok returned to NK). The more I watched these two scenes, the bigger of an urge I had to cry, which was strange as it did not start out that way when i first watched it. Like it was triggering something within me. I continued re-watching these clips like a fool, until I suddenly started bawling uncontrollably. That was two nights ago. The next morning, I wake up, the scenes are in my head. It's hard to get them out. And even in my memory they're evoking intense emotions. So I eventually seek out those scenes again, i listen to the OST. Now it's really solidified in my memory. Today I really tried to keep myself busy, do some personal work, go for a walk, but every time the scenes came to memory I found myself close to tearing up, even in public. This is a little concerning, I don't know why this is happening.

I'm guessing it may have to do with frustration in my personal life. Hearing Captain Ri's affirmations to Yoon Se Ri on her birthday, telling her that he's happy she was born into this world, that her birthday will always be a good day. This was incredibly heartwarming, esp considering she struggled with a low will to live for a long time. And it was very painful at the same time for me to hear. I don't know why, maybe because I sort of resonated with Se Ri there as well. I actually don't know, all I do know is that I would've loved to hear Captain Ri's affirmations from someone in my life. I don't know if women would do this but if my future partner said that to me I may not be able to control my emotions lol.

And the DMZ scene was also just incredibly heartbreaking too. I think just rewatching this scene I really came to realize how incredible Son-Ye Jin's acting was. I really felt her anguish, her despair that she may never see Ri Jeon Hyeok ever again. I don't know why this scene evoked me to cry so much either. Maybe because the acting is simply so incredible, and I've never seen anything like it that actually felt truly convincing. But also it's an intense experience of grief, coming to terms that you likely will never see a person again. I think maybe my mind was resonating with personal examples of grief and loss in my life.

I don't really know what to make of all this. I feel a bit better having typed it all out now lol, hopefully I won't be thinking about this tomorrow at work. Someone witnessing me as a man sobbing like this will be kinda humiliating.

Might have to talk to a professional about this. Thanks for reading if you made it this far, and yes the show is amazing, but I'm probably going to steer clear from sad dramas for a while haha.