r/DesiswithAuDHD

▲ 7 r/DesiswithAuDHD+3 crossposts

Finally found a psychiatrist in India who actually looked at the whole picture (long post, sharing in case it helps someone else searching)

I live with a complex, overlapping picture — chronic pain and hypermobility (fibromyalgia/HSD spectrum), CPTSD from childhood, and long-unaddressed ADHD traits that had been masked or misattributed to anxiety for most of my life. Every previous provider treated these in isolation. Medication trials failed repeatedly (SSRIs, SNRIs, TCAs) with no one stepping back to ask why.

The collapse that started it:
Last year I lost a close family member (my sister-in-law) suddenly and unexpectedly. That grief didn’t stay contained — it triggered old childhood trauma, and I started having flashbacks and re-experiencing episodes on top of the grief itself. My body and mind essentially stopped functioning. I went from managing a full-time job to being unable to sustain basic daily function, eventually needing extended medical leave. Physical symptoms piled on — joint pain, vestibular issues, extreme fatigue — and no one around me, including some earlier providers, could explain why one loss had derailed everything so completely, or why recovery wasn’t linear.
It wasn’t until I started working with her that I understood the fuller picture: long-standing, unrecognised ADHD traits had been quietly increasing my baseline load for years — masking effort, sensory overwhelm, executive dysfunction — and grief plus trauma re-activation was the tipping point that exposed it. The overwhelm wasn’t “just grief” or “just anxiety” — it was years of unacknowledged ADHD-driven strain finally hitting a breaking point, compounding the trauma response and making recovery far harder than it should have been. Having that explained clearly, with evidence behind it, changed how I understood my entire collapse — not as a personal failure to cope, but as a specific, nameable pattern that finally made sense.

What was different with her:
• She didn’t rely on a single intake form. She used a structured, validated ADHD interview (DIVA-5) rather than a quick checklist — going through childhood and adult symptoms systematically, across multiple life domains, before reaching any conclusion.
• She actively looked for what didn’t fit as hard as what did — flagging anxiety, OCD-spectrum traits, and trauma as overlapping contributors rather than lumping everything under one label. She was explicit about what was confirmed, what was preliminary, and what needed more time before being called a diagnosis.
• She explained the why behind everything — why a medication had failed before, why a new one was being tried at a low starting dose, why certain symptoms were anxiety-driven versus ADHD-driven versus pain-driven. For the first time, my symptoms made sense as a connected picture instead of a list of unrelated complaints.
• Medication changes were conservative and closely reasoned — low starting doses, slow titration, clear rationale tied to my history of failed trials, and honest acknowledgment of what’s still being adjusted rather than overpromising.
• She gave real time in session — often going well beyond the standard slot — specifically to build safety before going into harder material. That mattered enormously with a trauma history.
• Beyond medication, she thought about the whole picture: physiotherapy suited to hypermobility, sleep architecture, structured routines for executive dysfunction, and even flagged relational/couples work given how my symptoms affect my marriage.
• She has skills of a psychoanalyst, which showed in how she picked up behavioural and relational patterns I hadn’t been able to name myself, and helped me actually work through them rather than just manage symptoms.
Result: Noticeable improvement within a short window — not because of one magic medication, but because the whole formulation finally made sense and the plan was built around me, not a template.
Her details, for anyone in India searching for someone similar:
• Dr. Vaidehee Lakhani Chaudhary, MBBS, MD Psychiatry (Reg. No. MD 39950)
• Practice: Nirvana MindCare
• Location: Doc Thakur Clinic, 5th Floor, Bodycare Complex, Vadaj, Ahmedabad
• Offers online consultations pan-India (Zoom)
• Website: nirvanamindcare.com
• Contact: connect@nirvanamindcare.com / +91 7096106460

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u/Current-Juice8282 — 1 day ago
▲ 13 r/DesiswithAuDHD+1 crossposts

Help me focus on the right thing

TLDR

Strong urge to help in the ADHD space.

ome incomplete experiments around helping ADHD community. Switching from Youtube -> Book -> Linkedin Posts -> Professional courses -> AI chatbots -> Website.

Help me what might be useful

-----------------------------------------------------------

I am about to be 40s, and I have been diagnosed with ADHD for three years. Since then I have been going deep into learning about ADHD traits, ADHD psychology and neuroscience behind it and developing systems to help me around. Not that I have figured it all out and achieved great success with my life, but I have learned some good techniques to see life and do tasks differently and created systems around it. 

Due to burnout, I had to leave my job last year. I started thinking about how I can share these to the newer folks. 

Then, one fine day, I got the energy and created a YouTube account for adhd content and created an intro video. But due to the enormous amount of effort, and along with RSD, with perfectionism, analysis paralysis, etc., I couldn't motivate myself to YouTube much. I didn't like to show my face, hated to hear my voice, etc. 

I had written scripts, and realized I loved the writing part. I was used to LinkedIn as a corporate employee. So I created a pseudo profile and started posting adhd contents to get momentum. The writing took me to writing a fiction book, I released the 1st chapter in Linkedin. I have not added any connections. It is becoming more like a blog than a social broadcast. I enjoy it though I have taken a pause. 

At some point, I was thinking of a career transition to ADHD counsellor or coaching and taking courses or accreditations professionally. I could not bring myself to take such a drastic decision.

Meanwhile, I was building AI skills as part of job search and personal portfolio. I created a chatbot - an ADHD companion to help our community. During the testing, I noticed that it was very expensive for me to open up to the general public for free. 

Now I am creating a website for Indian ADHD folks using vibe coding and putting up the contents I have created. 

After almost 1.5 years of recovery and all these explorations, I have finally felt ready to go back to corporate and get active with my professional life.

I started reflecting on my break years. Since my career break, I have been jumping around many ideas (classic ADHD trait). There was an underlying theme to help the ADHD community, as if I have found my purpose. 

I want to continue at least one of these on the side (hopefully consistent) and realize I can’t do it all. Every path has hurdles. If I know what is actually useful, that might be motivating enough to be ON it. 

I will have a little energy after everything, so I just don't want to spend that effort building something nobody needs. 

I have ADHD contents in scattered manners which helped me somewhat. I feel it is the format I was struggling with. I want to refine it so that anyone going through the initial phases or in their rut phase does not have to go rabbit-holing and burn themselves out like I did for years and still doing. 

Today this thought came to me: why not ask in Reddit. Honestly I didn’t know what to ask, so I sought AI’s help to refine that bit. 

  • What would you want someone to build, write, explain, or create for the ADHD community? 
  • What kind of external help is actually valuable to someone with ADHD especially in India? 
  • What gave you direction when you learnt that you had ADHD the 1st time ever?
  • What help is needed to get out of the ADHD rut and get moving?
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u/Adhdindia — 8 days ago