r/EnglishPumpkinParty

https://www.reddit.com/r/RAIwojaks/comments/1tgonxi/nosejak/

Of a thread "What’s the inspiration for the Amazing Digital Circus?"

Story time! I was once sucked into the massive poop hole that is fanon Homestuck and some total troglodytes actually made me convinced that the Eridan woobifiers were right. They weren’t and I gradually climbed my way out of the hole those fuckers shoved me in without me knowing!

Having made the mistake of HORRIFICALLY misinterpreting the text and really, the very function of fiction as a whole, I have developed a massive, raging hate boner (NOT THAT KIND GIVE ME A LITTLE FUCKING CREDIT) for Eridan fans. Specifically people who defend him or woobify him. Bear in mind I am still a fan of his character.

So I think I am just going to complain about every stupid thing Eridan fans do in this rant.

1. ”It’s Society’s Fault He’s This Way”

What I am making fun of in the picture.

Go back to Eridan’s introduction “flowing through your veins…” It says something along the lines of “members of your caste are meant to rule, but ruling in your eyes is not enough” which means that Eridan’s genocide complex is an abnormality for a member of his caste. Eridan is not doing these things because of any externalized pressure, but because he holds “a fascination for military history.” He also seldom to never mentions Dualscar, so the concept of him trying to be like him is a fanon lie (his resemblance to him alludes to his relationship to Vriska. He wears blue because that‘s her color, he dresses like his ancestor because this relationship is important to him). On his introductory page it says he instead modeled himself off of military history, which, as I just said, he holds a fascination for. He idolizes these things because of his own genuine interest. He wants to be different and special, he is in a way almost technically a rebel, in a downtrodden way analogous to real world reactionary conservatives. Eridan is literally meant to be read as adjacent to incels. He wants to forge the world in an ideal image, ridding it of the foul gill-less castes.

2.”But he has finless friends”

My racist uncle has black friends, that doesn’t make him any less racist. Eridan talks to low bloods because he’s desperate and it’s all he can get. Him not going in the water COULD be due to some deficiency ie. Mutated gills or even just getting bodied by other seadwellers, who are mentioned in Gamzee’s narration regarding his lusus, to be quite dangerous. He also constantly uses slurs and even others them, ”landwweller picnics” I believe is a phrase he uses when lamenting how no one came to his planet, he calls them soft and others them angrily. He hates his friends for what they are, talks down to them, thinks he is better than them. He also can love the relationships he has at the same time. I know biographical experience backing up a claim is IDIOTIC but PISS OFF this is my rant and I can do What I WANT! I was homophobic as fuck back in high school, but I also was an art kid, would take any friend I could get simply for the SUPPORT it provided and the fact that being alone drove me damn near insane, I fucking talked to myself and did other horrible things I probably shouldn’t say here, was not ok. So I would take gay friends even though I hated what they were and wanted them gone. I’m not homophobic anymore however

3. ”estrogen can fix him”

I can’t even begin to describe how much I hate the trans headcanon on him.

He is a bigot, becoming a woman won’t help him, if he really felt that way then you know what would happen? He would become a transgender bigot! Did you know trans women can be racist? Apparently this fandom doesn’t. If you‘re gonna add transness to him AT LEAST DO IT PROPERLY but no you FUCKS just want to draw a half naked bimbo and say “this used to be a man” and disguise that as gender positivity. That or you related to his loneliness and constant struggles with rejection and decided to oc-ify him so he could be more like you.

Idk no one who gender weirds him is ever normal from what I’ve seen and is one of those two categories, it always requires a serious misread of or complete disregard for what his canon character is. And whatever if you really want to fuck off in a corner and make an oc-ified shit, do it, I don’t fucking care, most of these assholes are probably like 9 and just pretending to be older than that anyway and who am I to bully children that’s just wrong. My issue is that this is so fucking predominant that people (including me when I was still in the poop hole) insist their misinterpretation of the text is law. Piss off, go read Hussie’s notes where he, I kid you not, calls Eridan an ”incel murder boy.”

Eridan was made to be hated, he is not supposed to be some projection slop character. There are ways to align with canon to make him GOOD for stuff like angst, and hey, maybe you are an absolute shitlord freak like me and actually CAN see yourself in him (need I even prove that I feel like the way I am talking is evidence enough) in a way that isn’t even misconstruing the truth of what you or he is. I think the best way to engage with fiction, ultimately, is to separate yourself from it, but more often than not you will inevitably come to use it in order to channel yourself and your feelings and your life. There is, to me, zero reason why you as an artist should feel the need to SIGNIFICANTLY ALTER a character to make it more relatable to you, not to mention that Eridan happens to be a very harmful character to do that with? You’re misconstruing the intentions, the psychology of a BIGOT because he is bad at socializing, has a cool design, is lonely, etc.

4. “(character I ship with him) could fix him.“

Eridan shippers are morons because the guy’s toxic af, and expecting someone to fix him is quite frankly, a little bit misogynistic of you. Why is that their job? Go fucking read some Samuel Richardson, you FUCK, and tell me you still think that.

5. “He’s an uke.”

Uke is a yaoi word google it. Technically speaking he is a bitchless fuck after Vriska ghosts his ass and Feferi dumps it, but he is seme as FUCK. Reread his log with Rose, he literally wanted to build a relationship off of proving her wrong. He likes asserting himself always, his whole thing as a prince of hope is control and shaping the world into his ideal image. Seme Eridan is genuinely eye opening and will singificantly benefit your understanding of his character. KILL UKE ERIDAN KILL HIM!

6. “He fab”

HES NOT FABULOUS DIE He looks like shit, the point is that he is a kid larping as a supervillain, y’all genuinely saw a spiky haired little boy in a cape and said “girlboss” you STUPID! You fucks! You fops! It’s that bloody pesterquest design I tell you. That piece of shit game ruined EVERYTHING. It’s not even well written. Anyone who regards it as canon is a larp.

Fell free to inquire about any of these points or give input.

this is my original character lord hebrew in my new mspfa israelstuck

yo my doods, so, I just read a bit of the fandom wiki foru homestuck and i found out that dave is literally me lol :3. heckin ironic shit dude hes like literally me bro i need a john to my dave asap lol haha whats a carapacian like the silly gubby mayor guy whos wayward vagabond ;-;

I scrolled a bit in there, it was fun, I think most of the people here are just ironic, what do you think?

Somebody told me to post this for them idk

https://www.tumblr.com/nebulous-scales/772751923943211008/rclipseatron-nightmarechamillian-47x5

https://www.tumblr.com/myrrrhis/765804079505096704/revolutionarygays-laalonde-neutralevil

another _Eridan_ post