The Suitcase They Threw Out, The Ticket I Bought To Leave Novel
The day before school starts, Mom posted a screenshot of a money transfer in the family group chat.
I’d just gotten a thousand dollars, my heart leaping with hope, when Mom tagged me directly in the thread.
[Wallace, send that money over to your sister.]
I blinked, typing back: [Didn’t you send that to me?]
A voice note popped up immediately, sharp and clipped. “That money goes into both of Nana’s bank accounts so she won’t run short. How dare you think you deserve cash when your grades are garbage? Send it right back, or you’ll regret it.”
Tears stung my eyes, but I sent the full thousand back.
My account balance dropped to three dollars. I was about to ask if she could spare two hundred, only to find I’d been kicked out of the group.
Dad pulled me aside to comfort me. “Your mom’s just harsh but well-meaning, she means well. Take these three hundred. Don’t take it to heart. Pack your things; we’ll drive you two over to Duke University tomorrow.”
I wiped my eyes and loaded my luggage into the car that night. Yet when dawn broke, my suitcase lay discarded out on the driveway.
The heavy black hard-shell suitcase hit the ground, sliding across the concrete, its old lock cracking clean open.
Mom blocked the car door with one arm, her tone flat. “Nana’s got way too much luggage. There isn’t room. You’ll have to get there on your own.”
Dad tried to speak up for me, but one cold look from Mom shut him down instantly.
“I told you not to apply to Duke. We can’t drop two kids off there. This is what you get for not listening.”
I stared at the wide-open backseat, throat burning.
The trunk was stuffed full of Nadia’s belongings, plus gift bags for professors and new classmates. There was simply no spot left for my twenty-four-inch suitcase.
I should have known. Their perfect little family of three had never had space for an extra like me.
Duke, though, was never my real destination. A bird with no home belonged farther north.
***
Frayed, faded hand-me-down clothes spilled halfway out of my broken suitcase—castoffs Nadia no longer wanted.
I stood out in the open, summer sunlight burning hot against my skin.
Inside the car, Nadia was curled across Mom’s lap in a brand-new designer sundress. The AC was cranked so high she shivered.
Mom reached over to turn it down without a second thought, then frowned when she noticed I hadn’t left. “What are you still doing standing there?”
In the old days, I would have bowed my head and mumbled, “Okay, I get it.”
Growing up, our schools had sat on opposite ends of town.
Nadia went to the fancy private school five minutes from home. I commuted two hours each way across the city to an underfunded public school. Mom and Dad always drove Nadia.
From age seven onward, I got up at five every morning, trudging through the freezing dawn to catch the bus. My overstuffed backpack weighed me down until one shoulder hung lower than the other.
Nadia wouldn’t get up until seven, hair done up in perfect princess braids. She had time for a leisurely breakfast on the ride. Her Elsa-printed backpack never touched the ground; either Mom or Dad carried it for her.
I’d begged them to drive me once. All I got was, “It’s too far. We have work.”
If I pushed further, I got snapped at. “Why don’t you get grades half as good as your sister, then?”
Twelve years of this back-and-forth. I ought to have grown used to it.
But watching my pale, polished sister in the cool car, then looking down at my sunburned arms, my feet rooted to the pavement.
“There’s an empty seat back there,” Dad said, glancing over his shoulder from the driver’s seat, his brow furrowed. “Wallace’s thin, she won’t take up much room. Let her ride with us.”
Mom was smoothing sunscreen across Nadia’s arms and rolled her eyes. “Jude, come on. Nana’s going to be gone for six whole months. We still need to run errands for her supplies on the drive. We promised her, we can’t back out now.”
“Three of you squish in the back, or one of you sit up front,” Dad insisted.
“Not a chance,” Mom huffed. “I’m not riding shotgun in this blazing heat, and neither is Nana.”
Sweat soaked through the back of my shirt. I opened my mouth to say I’d happily take the front seat.
Nadia cut me off, pouting slightly. “Mom, isn’t this kind of unfair to Wally? You’ve never once driven her to school. I really don’t need a ride, y’know. I’m strong enough to haul my own bags.”
She flexed her delicate arms beneath her puff-sleeve dress for show. “See? I’ve got muscles!”
Mom and Dad laughed, the heavy tension dissolving in an instant. Once again, I was the awkward one ruining everyone’s good mood.
Dad coughed quietly. “Don’t be silly. You’re way too little, we’d never feel safe letting you go alone.”
“Unfair?” Mom scoffed. “This is her own fault! I told her not to apply to the same school as Nana. She refused to listen. She needs to learn a lesson.”
Dad caved. “Wally, you’ll have to take the train.”
I twisted the hem of my shirt, words stuck tight in my throat. I said nothing.
Car doors slammed shut. A two-hundred-dollar Venmo transfer popped up on my phone screen. I stared at it for a long time, then tapped accept.
Late that night, Dad texted me: [I’m sorry this happened. I’ll help you move your stuff when you get to Duke.]
I glanced at my phone, where a shipping alert popped up.
I typed back: [I’m not coming to Duke.]
My parents had no clue. Duke was never where I intended to go.
I’d applied to Cornell, far up north. No short flights there, only endless train rides.