r/ExcelMandarin

You're at dinner. Two of your friends are there.

Except they're couple, feeding each other. Finishing each other's sentences. Making sustained eye contact like you don't exist.

You are alone. You are watching this. You will finish your meal in silence.

In Chinese, you are eating dog food.

吃狗粮 (chī gǒu liáng) = Eating Dog Food

Verb. The experience of being single while surrounded by an affectionate couple.

You are the dog. This is your food. Consume it.

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How many of you have had to eat dog food recently?

You know this person. Maybe you've been this person.

She hasn't replied in four days. He just sent a "good morning ☀️" anyway.

In Mandarin, we call him a 舔狗.

舔狗 (tiǎn gǒu) = Lick Dog

Noun. Someone who relentlessly pursues a person who shows zero interest , often at the cost of their own dignity. Not just persistent. Genuinely unfazed by being ignored.

舔 = to lick. 狗 = dog. Put it together: someone so desperate for approval they'll lick the hand that never pets them back.

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My friend found out the guy she was seeing was simultaneously seeing three other women.

In English: player. F-boy.

In Chinese? He's a 海王.

海王 (hǎi wáng) = Sea King (like Poseidon)

Noun. Someone who casts romantic lines into every sea simultaneously ,always available, always charming, never committed.

The ocean is full of fish. The 海王 has them all on the hook at once.

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Your language's equivalent of this word 👀

My cousin works at a tech company in Shenzhen. A couple years ago he told me he was 躺平-ing.

I asked if he got fired.

He laughed and said no. He just decided to stop trying so hard. Show up. Do the work. Go home. No overtime. No side hustles. No LinkedIn posts about "grinding."

Just... existing.

躺平 (tǎng píng) = Lie Flat

Verb. A conscious choice to reject hustle culture and live with minimal ambition. Not laziness — more like a quiet protest against a system that demands too much.

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It went viral in China around 2021. Then r/antiwork happened. Then "quiet quitting" became a NYT think piece.The Chinese had the word for it first.

躺平 is more honest though. You're not quietly quitting. You're openly, philosophically opting out.

Anybody else been 躺平-ing lately? 🛋️