r/HalfManTV

I also keep thinking about this: what if Niall hadn't been gay? Would people have seen it differently? Would the abuse have been considered more serious? Because he's gay and in love with Ruben, does it somehow seem less severe?

After reading so many comments about the characters' relationship, people romanticizing it, arguing over who was worse and who inflicted more harm (many even think Niall was worse), I can't stop wondering how different people's opinions would have been if the story had been about a man and a woman.

I really doubt people would have perceived love between them, empathized with Ruben, or claimed that Niall was the worse one or just as evil as his brother. And when I say this, I'm not just talking about other people—I include myself too. The thought that I might have experienced the series differently if the victim had been a woman honestly makes me feel awful.

And, to be fair, I did romanticize Niall and Ruben's relationship at first. It felt almost inevitable because of the constant homoerotic undertones. Later, though, I realized those moments were really meant to connect them through the way both of their traumas were expressed through sex.

I never saw Niall and Ruben as equally evil. I always empathized with both of them, and I never excused either of their actions. But I still can't stop thinking about how different our reactions might have been if this had been a story about a man and a woman—or if Niall had been a straight man instead of a gay one.

I always thought this, but everyone saying otherwise made me think I saw wrong.

I just watched the scene again to confirm or deny my suspicions.

He gets right up to the point, probably touches there and Niall screams "ill tell you!"

We then see it in Rubins hand. It is entirely debatable there was never any penetration at all.

Niall screams right at the moment it starts, and it stops then.

This also refutes those folk who say Niall should have spent the rest of the scene expressing he was in pain. It didn't happen, so he was not in pain from it.

Their traumas are different, but in the end, their sexuality is what they have in common.

As an adult, Niall becomes addicted to it because it's the closest he can get to another man without openly acknowledging that he's gay. He even tells Gus: "I'm not gay because I have sex with men. I'm not in love with them." It's also his way of maintaining control and dominance in his relationships by always being the one on top.

For Ruben, it's the most intimate and affectionate thing he ever received from a man who supposedly "loved" him. That's why he resorts to that kind of sexual aggression toward Niall whenever he feels emasculated by him—it's his way of regaining control and asserting dominance.

Loved this show, love Richard Gadd and can't wait to see what he does next! That being said, the one thing still bugging me was the librarian taping Niall in the toilet with other men.. Is that ok in Scotland? In America you can't video someone in a bathroom 🧐

how is handshakes a social construct designed to keep us apart ? The whole point of handshakes is to trust each other , be equal and bond? It’s an interesting view, but it doesn’t make sense.

Richard Gadd is somewhat helping to rewrite what manhood is and how we can define, celebrate and deal with whatever problems masculinity in its bad forms may have.

The fact that at least one of the protagonists in Half Man is gay - and really struggling with that - adds another layer to the entire conversation about manhood in 2026.

He is somewhat underhandedly feting masculinity itself despite the talk of toxic masculinity in the present zeitgeist, even in his own works . He is not just acknowledging it and displaying the effects of it, but by doing so, creating a sort of celebration of manhood by forcing other aspects of maleness to be discussed, analyzed or praised whenever warranted.

Issues such as depression; loneliness; fatherhood; being victims of different abuses in a society that believes men can never be such victims; difficulties communicating with other men; lack of true friendships amongst men; the fluidity of sexuality amongst men and how that can effect mental health, self esteem and feelings of being “less” of a man because of it.

It’s absolutely possible that Gadd might one day be extolled as the first true “masculist”, so to speak, to force men’s issues into the mainstream by dealing with the topic of toxic masculinity - then running away with other pressing problems that men in the 21st century are dealing with.

As well, by making Donny Dunn bisexual and Niall Kennedy gay, the two lead characters in these seminal works, he is subverting what mainstream society sees as typical manhood, and that is astute.

This could be a brilliant move, and one that I personally would welcome wholeheartedly, as it feels like the first time ever in my 50 plus years where men like myself are seen equally with all other men in prevailing media. And a time when manhood itself is embraced and studied to healthier effect.

We shall see…

Someone asked me in another post what my deal was with Richard and this show, so I felt the need to share my personal experience and explain why it has affected me so deeply.

To start with, I haven't been a victim of sexual abuse, but I was bullied for around fifteen years, and I didn't grow up in a healthy family environment. I found myself identifying deeply with both Niall and Ruben, although for different reasons.

With Niall, it's because I've always been a self-destructive person. At school, I was made to believe that I was the problem. Both boys and girls mocked my appearance, and I was physically assaulted. Every time I looked in the mirror, I saw a monster. I never loved or accepted myself, and over time I shaped my personality around pleasing other people.

Ever since I was very young, I've felt a great deal of empathy for animals and insects that everyone else hated. Looking back, I think they reflected how I saw myself: unwanted, ugly, and disgusting. I seriously considered suicide many times, and I constantly self-harmed because physical pain was the only thing that seemed to quiet the pain I felt inside.

My parents never noticed. They were too busy arguing. They either minimized what I was feeling or chose to look the other way. Home was never a safe place for me. I was also psychologically and physically abused by them.

I have a younger sister who is prettier and more outgoing than I am, and that filled me with envy for many years. We were both quite cruel to each other growing up. There were times when I took my anger out on her. I never seriously hurt her physically, but I used her as an emotional outlet for everything other people were doing to me, and afterwards I always felt guilty. She grew up resenting me because of it.

As I got older, I felt I became capable of empathizing with other people. I always gravitate toward those who are emotionally struggling, taking on their problems because that's what I wish someone had done for me. But many times I wonder whether that empathy is truly genuine, or whether it's simply my way of trying to fill my own emptiness.

I've hurt many people throughout my life, and sometimes I feel that, deep down, I have as little regard for others as I have for myself.

As for Ruben, although I'm not an impulsive person, I recognized myself in his outbursts of anger. While I have occasionally reacted physically, I've always managed to stop myself. But the distance between what I actually do and what I sometimes feel like doing is frighteningly small.

I've had terrible thoughts, and as difficult as it is to admit, there have been many times when my deepest wish was for everyone to die. I've fantasized about committing horrific acts. For years I became obsessed with violence and with films and documentaries about it. I watched gore movies constantly, and instead of making me feel disgusted, they fed those fantasies.

Please, if you're reading this, don't judge me. We can't always control what we feel, but we can control what we do.

My father took his own life six years ago. Even though my mother denies it, I feel that I was partly responsible for his suicide, and I can't stop thinking about the irony that when I was fifteen, I almost took my own life because of my parents, but I didn't. Whether it was cowardice, guilt, or something else, I don't know. But he did. He left, and I've been carrying this unbearable weight ever since.

I feel a mixture of emotions toward my family that I still can't untangle: love and hatred, admiration and envy. Exactly like in the show.

Today I'm thirty-four years old. I have a partner, a good job, and a much better relationship with my mother and my sister. But that love-hate feeling is still there, buried somewhere very dark inside my chest. I don't know what to do with all that resentment. I still see a monster whenever I look in the mirror. I still can't accept myself, and nothing I have seems to make me happy.

I'm still a self-destructive person. I smoke, I drink, I don't feel well physically, and I don't really care. Sometimes I still self-harm when I'm at my lowest, but if you met me, you'd never guess. No one ever does.I hide. I make myself small beneath this shell I call a body. I suppose it's because I don't want to hurt anyone, and because I don't want people to see how I really feel. To show vulnerability.

If I'm alive, that's okay. But I also feel that if someone told me I was going to die tomorrow, I'd be at peace with that too.

That's why this show hit me so hard, just like other films and TV series have before. I feel that becoming obsessed with fictional stories is both a way of escaping my own reality and, strangely enough, a way of understanding it more deeply.

I've also loved writing ever since I was a child, just like Niall. People always told me I had real talent for it, but obviously I never became anything. I love art too, but because I never feel good enough, I always abandon everything halfway through.

For years I've had the idea of writing a book about my life—about what I did, what I truly felt, and the things I believed I was capable of doing. This show, just like Baby Reindeer and others before it, has pushed me toward finally writing it.

I've never done it because of fear. Maybe because I'm afraid no one would ever read it, but even more because I'm terrified of what people would think of me if I exposed myself like that. Some of the ideas I've had are probably even darker than what Half Man portrays, and I don't know if I'm ready to make myself that vulnerable.

I'd also have loved to create a TV series one day, but I simply don't have the means to do it.

I've seen people here who have interviewed Richard, and I'd absolutely love the chance to interview him myself because I have so many questions I'd genuinely like to ask. The problem is that I have no idea how I'd even go about it. And I'm Spanish, and my English isn't very good, so I suppose that's probably impossible.

If you've read all the way to the end, thank you, sincerely. I'd really appreciate hearing your thoughts, or reading about your own experiences if any part of my story resonated with you.

Do you guys think that Ruben’s mom knew about the abuse from his father?

Is that why she enable him to that extent?
When he attacks alby he accuse him of groping him to get away with it, and his mom just goes along with the lie to protect him.
Is that a way for her to protect him because she didn’t protect him before?

Am I the only one who noticed that at the beginning of the final scene, Ruben tries to choke Niall with one hand while reaching down with the other? I took it as him intending to sexually assault Niall, but then Niall resists, and Ruben ends up using both hands to strangle him instead.

From the very first episode, I had a feeling the story was building toward Ruben raping and killing Niall, although I honestly thought the death would be accidental. After episode five, though, I became convinced he was going to kill him intentionally.

Throughout the series, there are several moments of sexual abuse from Ruben that seem to foreshadow something like that. Even so, I always thought it would either be an attempt that Niall would fight off, or that it wouldn't become an explicit rape scene. I'm genuinely glad it didn't.

The death scene already felt long and incredibly brutal despite how sudden it was. I can't imagine how much more disturbing it would have been if Ruben had gone further. I think it would have genuinely traumatized me.

The way the scene is filmed suggests that intention without fully following through. In the end, what happens feels more like a sexual assault over the clothes. I'm honestly grateful it didn't go beyond that.

I also liked the way the ending intertwined violence and sexuality. It made the scene even more shocking, especially coming right after the prison scene, where they look at each other with so much tenderness and understanding.

I'm not sure if Richard has ever talked about this in an interview, but it's something I've been wondering about. He seemed to turn pain and jealousy into anger, but I'm still curious about what he found so difficult to express that he kept resorting to those more primal growls instead of words.

I don't remember him doing it when he was younger. It seems to become much more frequent in adulthood: when he hugs Niall in episode four, at the end of the series when Niall confesses his love to him, and I also noticed he does it a lot while beating Niall in the final episode, when Niall is lying on the ground.