r/HikerTrashMeals

Broke boy pork ramen

Ingredients

1-bag of pork ramen- I prefer a half crushed packs found in the laundry room at a random campground.

2- porkchop bones The best ones I have found are from the manager special section at your local grocery and leftover from the night before. Pro tip leave them out overnight in the unwashed bowl from dinner.

Garlic? I dunno how much, you do you. Mine usually is what is stuck to the leftover bones.

2- fresh laid eggs. I know this is a hard one to get. The trick is be nice to people and maybe do some yardwork and eggs somehow magically appear.

3-packets of pepper. You can usually find these near the roller dogs at the local stab and grab. Side note while there grab as many condiments as possible. If you think its stealing buy a roller dog ya pussy.

INSTRUCTIONS

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For best results follow these as close as possible. Wake up ready to kick the day in the dick. Check phone realize it is 3 AM. Doom scroll for an hour. Play a game on your phone for another hour. Wait till phone falls on your face. The morning nap is a crucial part to the equation. Wake up again and yell at the big yellow star in the sky. Ingest a minimum of 30 mg of a nice peppy thc edible. Get impatient they are taking to long and smoke a bowl. Doom scroll till the self hatred kicks in and now it is time to take on the world. Take the morning shower. On the way stand staring blankly forgetting what you are about to do. Say good morning to the edibles that you may have taken to much of. Shower done munchies set in time to cook some shit. Fire up the trusty coleman camp stove. Freak out hoping you have enough propain. Edibles round two for the win. Calm down find lost water bottle. Throw bones and water on the fire. Wait till boil and debate on how long to boil the bones.

Decide one cigarette is the appropriate time. Remove bones get distracted by something. Remember you're cooking start the noodles. Get distracted again then Remember the noodles. At this time most the water has boiled out. Crack the eggs on top, shut off the gas, and impatiently wait on the eggs to be done. When all is done rummage around in the crate of your other food stuff looking for a fork. A fork that is allegedly from the gods of the roller dog condiments. Do we need a bowl fuck no the pot is perfect it has a handle so you can pace around and eat like the feral curb creature you are. Yall be well and safe out there. Ground scores and good snipes to all yall.

Im no stranger to some jammed up meals, I like to hike, camp, etc. Once made a banging vinegarette from mountain dew (glass bottle), bacon grease and a squeeze of grapefruit. Still think about it honestly. So im intrigued by this sub but two things dont make sense.

1. You folks seem to be avid, experienced hikers - why the fuck are you packing tortillas, candy, and old beans for meals?

2. This sub seems to be about the grosses and most desperate combos, and I can appreciate that but why not make some good food out of weird stuff, like unexpectedly good combinations?

I do understand that calories become important and so you just eat what you have and can stomach if youre really pushing it.

Love and light

Hey, I'm u/mrfowl, one of the founders of r/HikerTrashMeals. This sub is a place to post backpacking food (more specifically, to trips where resupplying is needed). Recipes should be lightweight, compact, calorie dense, and mostly non-perishable. If you used cast iron, a low simmer, or were concerned about burning your food, this is probably not the right sub for you. r/TrailMeals might be a better fit.

Posts here should contain the recipe at minimum (take a look at our rules please). Ideally they should have the calorie count, and if possible other macros as well, bonus points for cal/g. Post flair is required so we can sort recipes. Please look through all of the available flairs and choose the most appropriate one.

We're generally pretty friendly, but we will fight for each other, so try not to be an ass. Please poke around for a bit and engage with the community before you make your first post. That way you'll get a better idea of what's expected in this sub.

Originally this sub started as a place to post interesting recipes so other backpackers could get ideas. I'd still like to keep it steering in that direction and I think this rule would help keep a little of the old spirit alive. Plus it seems like we've gotten quite a few spectators recently that are a little confused

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