r/Hindireads

This is the poem I have written. And also, I have copyright of it. Please guys share your feedback. I am a new writer. I write poems and stories in Hindi. I published it on pratilipi app.

>Premise: 

These works explore Yashodhara's turmoil, response and responsibilities after her husband, Siddhartha Gautam leaves her and the kingdom for his spiritual quest.

What is the cost of Buddhahood? And what's Yashodhara's contribution to Gautam's Nirvana? 

>Why I chose these works? 

Just thought it'll be a fun exercise to read about Yashodhara from 2 different authors - Volga(PL Kumari) and Maithilisharan Gupt (MSG). 

Both esteemed authors -  Volga a Sahitya Akademi Award winner, and MSG deemed as Rashtrakavi (Nation's Poet) of India by Gandhi. 

One's in English (translated from Telugu by PSV Prasad), other in Hindi( Khari Boli, too ancient for me😭). 

Here I discuss both the works. 

>What I loved: 

1️⃣Volga's Yashodhara: 

• Devdutt calls Siddhartha "motherless". That pain superceded his physical injuries, and he contemplates his mother's death being his cause. That's how he begins thinking about life, death, suffering. A nice touch I think. 
• Rohini water dispute : Prominent here too, as it was in Ambedkar's book. A nice debate between Siddhartha vs Devamshah: "To enjoy peace, plenty is necessary. The need for plenty won't always be met by peace." Offensive realism! Siddhartha argues that plenty and poverty both ought to be shared equally - that'll prevent wars. The young idealist vs older realist. 
• The Yashodhara-Siddhartha discussions were nice - made for each other, both value equality, the mind, non-violence, anti-war, peace. They joke around, flirt, and discuss tough topics. 
• "Worldly knowledge is necessary, but in the hands of worldly-minded, it can be disastrous." - Siddhartha 
• Yashodhara here stands on her own against her father, against the swayamvar. She's not to be a trophy wife. 
• Yashodhara chooses the pain of potential sanyaas which Siddhartha told her beforehand. It's a willing sacrifice. 
• Yashodhara is already quite wise here. They're both on the spiritual quest together, as equals. She assesses why Siddhartha is so curious- due to his environment, upbringing, conversations with learned men etc. but why yashodhara is herself so wise - its not explicitly told, just implied, due to her own education and observations. 
• Yashodhara argues against yagnas and yagas, faces humiliation by parents. It points out the cost of raising voice in a patriarchal setup. Also, sets up Siddhartha's duty in future to respect women too.
• Yashodhara and Kushala started a female sangha, curing villagers.
• Gotami is made out to be villain...but as I remember, wasn't she the one who started the sangha?! Roles are reversed between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. 
• The Ending: Nicely done. 👌

 

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2️⃣Maithilisharan Gupt's Yashodhara: 

• The poem begins with Siddhartha contemplating a solution to his questions about mortality, and his decision to leave at night for his spiritual quest, to leave everyone uninformed. 
• Yashodhara's lament is - why Siddhartha left her in the middle of the night, without even telling her... She feels betrayed even, for she would have never stopped her husband's wish anyway. 
• We see these laments from Yashodhara, Siddhartha's parents, Friends, and Rahul. 
• Rahul-Janani or the dialogues between Rahul and Yashodhara were easier to comprehend, and lovely too. MSG preserves the innocence there nicely, amidst the grim laments. 
• The rhyming scheme keeps changing, which was refreshing. It's mostly poetry, but with some prose too. (Somehow I thought it would be uniform throughout, i.e, a poem with a single rhyme scheme)
• It's a masterpiece. So many variations on longing, put beautifully via metaphors, alliterations, similes ... Yes the language was a bit tough for me, but I still understood much of it. 
• I first used Google Translate, then listened to Shubhra Ma'am's explanations which helped a lot. It's only 100 pages long, but took me well over a week to understand it. It was well worth it though. 
• You can find the full poem online here

>Comparison:

• Almost 100 year difference between the 2 versions. MSG wrote it in 1933, Volga in 2019. Written by 2 different individuals, each with their own biases and ideas, for different eras! 
• Volga as a feminist author presents a strong independent minded Yashodhara - one who's on equal footing with Siddhartha. True, great minds seek each other, so it could be that Siddhartha would have fallen for such an intelligent Yashodhara - her journey is her own, she has agency, and she is ready to face the consequences too.  Householder-hermit dichotomy is embraced by both individuals, hence both achieve Buddhahood. Yashodhara heals the sick Bodies, while Buddha funds the way to heal the sick Minds - a perfect union of mind-body. Volga wrote it in prose form.  
• Maithili Sharn Gupta comes from a Hindu background, and from the introduction itself, it's clear he sees Buddha as Vishnu's avatar. "Ram, Ram" is a common phrase throughout the poem, along with references to other Puranic stories. Yashodhara is shown here to be lamenting, grief stricken, and even heartbroken by Siddhartha not informing her before leaving. However she isn't depressed, she picks herself up, decides to wait gracefully, patiently, and has faith in Siddhartha's return. The dichotomy of householder-hermit is shown to be tragic. It's a romantic tragedy. MSG wrote it in poem form. 
• Historically, I guess MSG's Yashodhara is much closer to the Pali canon events. From what I could research, Yashodhara has been seen as quite bold - in the Pali canon she asks Buddha to meet her in her quarters; in Therigatha she leads 100000 nuns; Mahavastu texts of 1st c. CE tell the story of her swayamvara; Lalitvistara text has her questioning the veil custom; a 5th c. text has her mimic Siddhartha's austerities within the palace walls (including shaving her head, eating minimally, mediation etc). 
• That's what I love about retellings or adaptations. Recent controversy about Odyssey/Ramayan movies - I feel lucky to enjoy such variations. {Personally, I wish to see UttaraKand adapted in the movie as well, but I don't think they will}. I got to enjoy a poetic retelling in my mother tongue and a prose retelling in English written by a Telugu writer! 
• Both evoked different emotions in me. Volga's novel is a lot more Sociologically relevant, focusing on equality, feminism, partnership, peace...while MSG's poem is a lyrical masterpiece focusing on the Individual grief, longing, faith, hope of Yashodhara.

 

>Conclusion: 

• I enjoyed both works tremendously. But due to my bias towards my mother tongue, I liked the MSG's poem better - even if the Hindi was tough for me. It's also a tight slap to my ego (I thought I could understand a known plot in such hindi easily 😆).
• Both are feminist in a way, Volga's more so. But I didn't find Yashodhara to be passive or weak in either one of them. I suppose, character-wise, MSG's Yashodhara showed more growth than Volga's Yashodhara.

 

>Rating:  Volga : 8/10; MSG : 9/10. 

{-1 to the poem because it's too tough for me. -2 to the novel because some modern ideas presented in such a historical fiction novel didn't seem believable to me.} 

It's cruel to rate them side by side, but I've done so purely out of subjectivity. I read Volga's book 1st, then spent a lot of time with MSG's work. Had to give extra point to MSG, for the poetry, even though I'm a prose guy!

Have you read any of these works/authors? Would love to know your thoughts or suggestions. Any other work by them I should check out?

>Premise:

A story about 2 old friends - Jaswant Singh from Kanpur, and Colonel Swami from Kerala, set in Noida, told over a span of 13 days.

It explores perils of ageism, rural-urban jarring shift, modern family dynamics, parenting styles, love, loss, and how should one live life?

The title comes from the Malayalam word for "little bird(s) or children". The book is available in English too, titled "Giligadu:The Lost Days".

>What I loved:

• The contrast between the 2 individuals : Through Jaswant Singh, we see themes about the stuggles of old age - health , loneliness, ego, generation gap, memory loss, adjusting to urban life, guilt of being burden to family etc. Colonel Swami on the other hand - retired from army, fit in mind and body, lighthearted, has a loving family - immensely loved by his granddaughters (who he calls his Giligadu). He's just an overall good person. He "Lives like a Sher!"
• Narrative Structure: Brilliant. We dip back and forth into Jaswant Singh's past, as an old man would, in the midst of conversations, or dreams, or hallucinations.
• Great Climax! >!Swami- a fraud. A good fraud. A white liar. Lied to cheer Jaswant up. Very tragic story, beaten up by his own son, daughter-in-law eloped with the dance teacher. I guess that his granddaughters' hostel warden is the one whom he was having an affair with - Anima Das, whose poem Jaswant read at the end. Wasn't expecting such a great twist from this short, heartwarming story! !<
• Lessons: Respect your elders. >!Live your life to the fullest. Death can come anytime. Never judge a person without knowing their circumstances. !< Love, wholeheartedly.

>What I didn't like:

• Some books just match the reader's life perfectly, by accident or by generalized intent...this is one of those. I have no criticism. It's perfect, and too personal.

>Another perspective on old age that I'd read - Cicero's Letter on On Old Age - worth reading along with this.

>Rating: 10/10 {purely subjective, can't look at this objectively. Plot is too close to home (literally too, Noida Sec-26)}

I've also started reading "Post Box#203 Nala Sopara" too, for which the author won the Sahitya Akademi Award in 2018. It's already a masterpiece 🙌

Any Chitra Mudgal readers here? What did you think of the story? Any suggestions are most welcome.