r/Kerala_Teenagers

Guys ennik oralod nalla crush ind but pulliyod confess cheyythappo pulli paranj eppo relationship nokkunillah frnd ayitt erikka enn but pulliykk vere oru fake n msg ett choichappo pulli paranj relationship nokkunund enn annit proposal onnum vannilleyy enn choichappo 2 ennam engand vann enn paranj entha reject akkiye enn choichappo nalla onnum vannillenn🤧😑 but ethrem okke nadanittum ennik avanod still istava but cheriya hate ee ull actually he think nobody can pull him cuz oan oru gyman aa pulli ee 18 yrs 2 yr kond body build akki ...so could youh guys pls help me njn oane vidano atho set akkano first of all this is my first crush so ennik ntha cheyyandewy enn ariyullah ennik korach advices thervoo....🫠

I recently had a relationship,

Relation ayyi 2 two kazhinjapol ahhn avl paranje avl 5-6 boys inn avldy personal pic ayachithundarn. And l comfort her bcz i really like her. Relation tym illum avlk pic ayacha boys ayyitu connection ondrn...( but avl athoke nnodu nirthy enn paranjath ahnn ) After a while avlde exam tym ayyi so avl paranje oru break edukuvann and she ghosted me.

But ahh tym illum avl matte boys ayyitu chatum, pics okke share akkuvarn. Ethokke avlde frnd ahn ennodu paranjath. Njan ath avldu choichum avl ath accept cheyth Ennit enne manipulate cheyth. Athil njan oru second chance koduth :)

After one month avl pinneyum angane thanne cheythu and Njan breakup akki .....

But avl ellarudeyum aduth paranj nadakane Njan toxic ayond ahh breakup ayath nn ahh

I met aa girl through social media, aval ene kattum older an like oru 3 years. Kurch wired ann, kuree month kazjn we felt aa connection and relation ayii. Frist time meet chythuu, kuree month kazjnn njgal trip ellam poyiii. One day evaldyy ex enn call akki parjn avar eporum vilikar ind physically akkund ( njn ayitt relationship ullaporum) ith ok avalod chodichapo aval shamthich ella, kuree kazijn avle ene ellam ente mistake akki, i didn't do anything. Enk relationship stop akkan pattila ayirnuu pinnum chance koduth, kure kazjn aval parjn avalk ee relationship pattila stop akkuva enn, oru 3 days kazjn vere relationship set ayii avalk 😐

Just wanted to share my story and maybe get some advice

I'm a 19M When I was a kid, I was very introverted and insecure about how I looked. I was fat, and I was also pretty shy when it came to talking to girls. I had many girls in my class, but I would only talk to them when it was absolutely necessary. I never really had female friends.

I think part of my fear of girls started when I was in 4th grade. Our class teacher used to mix boys and girls and give us permanent seats for the whole year. A girl was sitting next to me, and we became really good friends. I eventually developed a little innocent crush on her.

Being a stupidly innocent kid, I told my parents about my feelings. They thought it was funny because I was just a child, so they told my cousins about it as a joke. But it hurt me a lot. For years, whenever there was a family function or gathering, my cousins would tease me about that girl.

After that, I stopped telling my family anything about girls, not even their names. Slowly, I started feeling like I didn't know how to behave around girls at all. Eventually, even my parents started trying to encourage me to talk about girls because I think they realized I didn't have any female friends.

At the same time, I was really insecure about being fat. So I started working out. Slowly, I lost a lot of weight and started becoming more confident.

Then COVID happened.

School became online, I was isolated at home, and I had a lot of time to think about myself. I decided that I wanted to become more active, make more friends, and hopefully make some female friends too. Maybe even find love someday.

I was moving to a new school for 10th grade, so I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to become a new version of myself. Nobody there really knew me.

Around that time, I had a huge crush on a girl from my tuition class. Most of the classes were online because of COVID. Our teacher usually forced everyone to turn their cameras on, so I would see her during class.

I actually knew of her before that because we went to the same Sunday school at church, although she wasn't in my class. I knew roughly which area she lived in, and I knew her school was near mine.

During an online class, she mentioned that she usually cycled home from school. So sometimes, when I was going home, I would take the route that went in the general direction of her area, hoping I might meet her.

One day, I actually saw her on the road.

It was the first time I had ever approached a girl like that. I went up to her and introduced myself.

A few days later, our tuition classes became offline again. I was honestly so happy.

When I started going to tuition in person, I felt like I had become a completely different person. I was active, outgoing, happy, and made a lot of friends. Some people even thought I was this "swag" guy, which was funny because I had been such an introvert for most of my life.

One day, I told one of my friends that I had a crush on her. And of course, he immediately told her in front of a bunch of our classmates.

I panicked.

I basically tried to change the subject as quickly as possible and left because I was so embarrassed.

I thought I had completely ruined everything.

But after a few minutes, she came back and acted like nothing had happened.

After that, we actually became much closer.

We used to have crazy eye contact. She would look directly into my eyes, and I would look back. She always said positive things about me to her friends and called me a good person. She would even make up random reasons to sit with me, like, "I can study better when I sit with you."

We were really close.

She even invited me to church to get blessings from the priest before our 10th-grade exams. I remember once accidentally touching her hand, and I remember how much she seemed to care about me.

One day at church, she even asked me, "Didn't you sleep last night? You look tired."

Those little things meant a lot to me.

Then 10th grade ended and we moved on to Plus One.

I became quiet and introverted again. I tried to get into her school, but I couldn't. I also wanted to join the same tuition centre as her, but at that time I couldn't afford it.

I didn't even have a phone.

So we mostly saw each other on Sundays at church. Whenever I got a chance, I would talk to her. Sometimes I would still see her on the way home from school.

For a while, everything seemed okay.

But then I started comparing myself to her.

And comparing myself to other people became a habit.

"Comparison kills joy."

I slowly became introverted and depressed again. I started feeling like she was way out of my league and that I wasn't good enough for her.

Because of that insecurity, sometimes I wouldn't give her much attention. It wasn't intentional and I never wanted to hurt her. I remember one time she even asked me, "Why aren't you giving me attention?"

Slowly, I started distancing myself from her.

At the same time, I was fighting a lot of battles inside my own head. Eventually, I stopped going to church altogether. I didn't see her for almost all of Plus Two.

I still heard about her through my friends, though.

Then I joined college for my degree. I finally bought a phone using money I earned from a part-time job.

And I decided I wanted to finally confess my feelings and find out whether she had ever felt the same way about me.

I contacted her through Instagram. My plan was to start talking normally, become comfortable with each other again, and eventually confess.

But she seemed different.

She barely asked me anything. Whenever I asked her something, she would reply, but that was basically it. Her replies felt really dry.

I thought maybe it was because she was busy with entrance coaching and didn't have much time to use her phone.

So eventually I stopped messaging her.

Another two years passed.

I don't even know why I couldn't completely move on.

I would always look for some excuse or opportunity to text her again.

One day, I liked her Instagram story. The next day, I posted a story and noticed that she had liked it.

I thought, "Maybe I should try talking to her one more time."

So I came up with some stupid excuse to start a conversation.

But once again, it felt the same. Dry replies. No real interest.

And finally, I accepted it.

I stopped stalking her Instagram and deleted Instagram completely.

Now I just want to live my life and be happy.

I don't really want a relationship anymore, at least not right now. I'm poor, insecure, and I have a lot of things I want to fix in my life first.

What I really want is to learn how to make female friends normally, without overthinking everything. I want to have friends, enjoy life, work hard, and eventually become financially and emotionally stable.

Maybe love will happen someday, maybe it won't. I'm trying not to chase it anymore.

Thanks to anyone who actually read this entire thing.

I just wanted to share this because sometimes I think about everything that happened and it still makes me feel bad. I've even talked about these feelings with ChatGPT sometimes because I don't really know who else to talk to.

Today I just felt like sharing it with Reddit.

I'd genuinely appreciate any advice, especially on how to become more comfortable talking to girls and making female friends without turning every interaction into a potential love story.

Thank you for reading ❤️