r/Nigeria

Justice for Balogun!!

TLDR: Best friend is traveling to Nigeria to meet her boyfriend that she’s never met, and I’m concerned for her safety.

The title pretty much explains it all. For reference, we live in the U.S. She’s been dating this guy long distance for a few months now, and he’s been very controlling already over the phone. I recognize and understand that there are some cultural differences in regards to relationships, and it’s not my place to comment on that - it’s just that his behavior is concerning to me.

She told me the other day that she booked an Airbnb to go meet him in Nigeria in a few months.

Being someone from the U.S., I do not want to demonize Nigeria or the culture or anything like that. I would be just as concerned if she was going somewhere in Europe to do the same thing. At the same time, based off of some research I’ve done (which obviously does not substitute for real life experience), I’m even more concerned.

And apparently this guy DOES have a travel visa to Jamaica (where my friend has family nearby, as well) but she refuses to go there to meet him. That would obviously still be dangerous - meeting someone she’s never met in person - but at the very least it would be a place she’s familiar with.

She will not listen whatsoever. She’s extremely defensive. And look, it’s her life. But I’m concerned for her safety.

I don’t know what exactly I’m hoping for by posting this, since I don’t think there’s any getting through to her. I guess I just want some feedback as to whether or not I’m overreacting.

I’m supposed to leave for North America in a few weeks for the first time in my life and I wouldn’t see my family in a very long time. My mom and me and my siblings live in eastern Nigeria and I’ll be leaving from Lagos. My dad lives in Europe currently.

I called him to let him know I’m booking flights for her and one of my siblings to follow me to Lagos to see me off and he said no that my mom can’t go with me talking about he forbids it and security bla bla. We’re using flights ffs. I’m paying for the flights along with my mom (who has sponsored my entire trip, yes my dad has nothing to do with my entire trip, I just told him when the visa was out, we have a good relationship but he was anti immigration for me so I excluded him and my mum funded with her own money, she’s rich like that).

Anyway he’s saying she can’t go because of “security concerns” (I’ve convinced him we’ll schedule Ubers to and fro and it’s just hotel to the airport) and because she has never been to Lagos before and that I wanna show off that I’m traveling. I just feel like he doesn’t want her to know what she’s missed her entire life. My mom has never been on a flight before.

We’re gonna go regardless, I’ve always done things regardless of his opinions, I heed them but I still do what I want. I’m just venting here because this is how many Nigerian men are. My dad is a German citizen and his wife has never been in a flight before, a very laughable situation.

A typical good father bad husband situation.

I’ve read too many stories here of people getting burned building from abroad. Uncles who “handled it,” siblings who squandered it, contractors who vanished. One person here said out of 13 of his siblings, only one could be trusted.

So I’m genuinely asking the people who’ve been through it:

1.Did you send money and hope, go home yourself in phases, or use a company?  
2.What was the single biggest thing that went wrong (or almost did)?  
3.If you could keep control from abroad (with verified plan you own, staged payments, real progress proof, an accountable pro on site), would you actually use it

What’s the minimum battery health percentage before you decide it’s time for a new phone?

🔋 90% 🔋 85% 🔋 80% 🔋 Below 80%

Got a property in Abuja (I own it) so basically I’ve done the interior work looks amazing if I must say so myself, and I wanna do Airbnb/Shortlets, the property is in Guzape (FHA/ENL) anybody here into that? Any advice? Also I’m going to go into the final phase of it, TVs, Inverter, fridge, all that luxury stuff.. if anybody here is in Abuja and wants to come partner with me to lighten the load as a business partner I’m open to that too.. Ultimately want to get some advise on what to expect and how to navigate the market.

I think many people are surprised to learn that some South African politicians have made statements that are seen as anti-immigrant.

In my opinion, this attitude has helped create an environment where xenophobia continues.

South Africa is one of the most developed countries in Africa.

It has intelligence and security agencies that can detect serious threats.

If there were signs of a coup or a major security threat, I believe the government would respond very quickly.

That is why I keep asking: if xenophobic attacks have happened many times over the years, why do they keep happening?

Why are they not prevented before they become violent?

To me, the repeated attacks raise questions about whether the government is doing enough.

At the very least, it appears that the authorities have not been effective in stopping this cycle.

This is my opinion, and I'm interested in hearing what others think.

Do you believe the government has done enough to prevent xenophobic violence, or should it be held more accountable?

So I'm moving to the UK from Nigeria soon. I've lived here all my life, I'm used to Nigerian food, although ​I'm open to trying out basically anything. I'm not one of those Naija food purists who can't go without swallow or soup, but of course I would like to be able to prepare our local dishes in the UK from time to time.

Everyone and their mother is advising me to carry a ton of spices from Nigeria. I understand taking local spices like our pepper soup mix, uda/uziza, etc, and crayfish and some Garri perhaps, but they are also insisting they continental spices like thyme, parsley, rosemary etc are somehow better (stronger) in Nigeria than the UK. That everything is blander over there. I am specifically talking about pure spices, not spice mixes like curry spice, jollof spice etc, which I agree are loaded with salt/MSG and whose Nigerian versions are more intense.

Now I have visited the UK a number of times and even cooked there, I didn't notice any difference. I even buy spices when I travel abroad because many of the spices in Nigerian market are imported or manufactured abroad anyway. I have been arguing with literally everyone I know who moved to the UK.

What do you guys think? Is it really worth carrying packs of oregano and parsley from Nigeria ?

A lot of people keep saying women don't want men with money. I don't think that's true.

The problem isn't money. The problem is money without character.

A man who has money, treats people well, respects his partner, and doesn't use money to control others will always have an advantage over a man with little money who thinks being a sweet talker is enough.

Money itself isn't bad. Money provides security, opportunities, and protection. Those are things most people value.

What many women don't want is a man who believes his money gives him the right to disrespect, manipulate, or control them.

So don't fool yourself into thinking money doesn't matter. It does.

The real goal is simple: build wealth and build good character.

Having one without the other is where the problem starts.

Not trying to be insulting, but whenever people talk about obvious actions, like seceding the part of the country where most terrorists groups come from, sharia law is practiced and education is discouraged, you all act like someone just told you to cut your hands off.

Or will come up with copes like “it would be hard though”, or just straw-man and say things like “yeah but we would HAVE to divide the whole country by ethnic lines” or my least favourite “The last time it was tried, millions died”, (millions died because certain people wanted to keep Nigerian one nation, and look at how well that turned out 60 years later).

Your country was named and made by the british to extract resources, and they now still do so because of the instability of your country, anyone with 2 eyes can see that, so why keep this unstable split made to keep your country from reaching a QOL of even India?

Yes there would still be infighting based on ethnic groups after this split, but we all know how much easier it would be to create a national identity when you don’t have a group of people with a religion not native to their people woven into their culture.

It’s common sense, and if it doesn’t happen then soon you’ll regret not doing it in the first place. 100%.

And God forbid i say that uneducated people living in poverty shouldn’t be able to vote on long term plans, but thats for another post.

I'm visiting Nigeria briefly and I'd honestly like to sort out this tax thing now if necessary.

I currently reside in Ghana but I still receive payment in my Nigerian account cos I'm yet to sort out my banking in Ghana.

Are there any freelancers actively even paying taxes? It wouldn't be funny to wake up one day and see a huge sum deducted from my account.

If you want to come and complain that you've never experienced anything in this post then move on and ignore it.

I cannot even begin to explain the anger i feel when every other day there's news of a woman beating the shit out of a child for no reason.

Majority of Nigerians cannot see children as people who are learning new things every day, they see them as someone who is fully conscious of the things they do and believe beating is a correction for everything. Putting fear and terrorizing a child is the correct way to do things.

Every time i see Africans talking about the idea of beating children i try my best to not blow up bbecause for these parents beating isn't even used for big deal things, its almost for everything!!!!! No one forced you to have a child!!!! No one forced you to keep a child you hate!!!

This is the same country that hosts meetings to see if a child is a witch or not. The society HATES children, births them for help, births them so they can make arrangements to make THEIR future better.

Of course this is not the case for everyone, but its MAJORITY of Nigerian mothers that have anger issues and pour them towards their children.

I say this as someone who grew up around other Nigerian children and witnessed their mothers beating the shit out of them in front of me for the smallest things. The same children that then tell me its correct to beat children as if i didn't just see them shaking from fear just from the sight of their mother.

I hope someday people will start getting their temper under control before having children and value them as they are just innocent people.