r/OVER30REDDIT

I’m a ex country/farm kid - 40 years old now with my own family and when I pass through the area I grew up in I often go to some of the places I loved to play on the farm I lived on as a child . Makes me feel a weird type of happy and sad mixed into one . I wonder if people from the city do the same as in drive to their old street and just sit and think ? Or in town are you just the weirdo parked in your car for no reason

Hi all, thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I’m mostly looking for some perspective because I’ve been feeling pretty lost lately, and I’m having a hard time separating what’s actually wrong in my life from what I think should be wrong.

As I write this, I’m honestly pretty emotional. On paper, my life is in a good place. I have a remote job that pays well and allows me a lot of flexibility. I’m financially comfortable, I own a home and a rental property, and I’ve built up a decent amount in savings and investments. My family is healthy, I have hobbies I enjoy, and I travel fairly often.

I’m grateful for all of that, and I realize I’m fortunate. I’m not sharing those details to say that I’ve “made it” or to compare myself to anyone else. I’m sharing them because, objectively, I know I have a lot going for me, which makes it harder to understand why I’ve been feeling so unhappy.

The things bothering me are mostly the things I \\\*don’t\\\* have figured out.

I currently live in a city that I don’t really enjoy. I’m here largely because of my relationship. I’m dating someone I really care about and genuinely click with, but she’s 22 and still has a lot of life ahead of her. She’s finishing nursing school here and likely won’t be ready to think seriously about settling down and having kids for several more years.

That’s where a lot of my anxiety comes from.
I’m 35 now and will be 36 in May. Most of my friends are getting married and having kids. My brother has three beautiful children. I would like to have a family of my own, and the idea of potentially waiting another four years or more before having kids makes me nervous.
At the same time, I don’t want to make a major life decision simply because I’m afraid of being “behind.” I love my girlfriend, and I don’t want to throw away a relationship that could ultimately be something really meaningful because I’m panicking about a timeline that I can’t completely control.

I also really want to move closer to my family. I miss being near them, and although my job allows me to visit fairly often, it isn’t the same as actually living nearby. My current goal is to move home next year, but figuring out how that fits with my relationship has been weighing heavily on me.

Part of me thinks I should just sell everything, move home, and start over. Another part of me thinks I’m letting anxiety convince me that my life is much more off-track than it actually is.

I also grew up in a fairly difficult household. My stepfather was abusive toward my brother and me, both mentally and physically. I also had a sister who was very hard on me growing up and frequently made me feel badly about myself, particularly because I was heavier when I was younger.

I wonder sometimes whether those experiences contributed to me spending so much of my adult life feeling like I need to prove that I’m doing okay, and then still struggling to actually \\\*feel\\\* okay once I’ve accomplished the things I thought would make me feel that way.

I know this is somewhat rambling, but I think what I’m really looking for is perspective.

Am I actually behind? Am I making reasonable decisions about my life, or am I allowing fear and comparison to make me feel like I need to blow everything up and start over?

If you were 35, healthy, financially stable, with a career that gave you flexibility, hobbies you enjoyed, family you loved, and a relationship that \\\*might\\\* have a future — but you weren’t completely happy with where you lived or how quickly certain parts of your life were progressing, what would you do?

I think I just need someone to remind me that I’m not running out of time, that I haven’t somehow screwed up my life, and that it’s okay to still be figuring things out.
Because I have a hard time imagining being 70 someday, looking back at myself at 35, healthy, fortunate, and with so much life still ahead of me, and wondering why I spent so much of that time worrying that I was already too late.

​

I turn 30 in a few months, and apparently I’m about to enter the decade where I’m supposed to have my shit together.

So, veterans of your 30s and beyond: what do you genuinely wish someone had told you before turning 30?

And spare me the “your knees start hurting” and “hangovers last three days” starter pack. 😂

I want the real shit. Money. Careers. Friendships. Dating. Family. Health. Regrets. Things you wasted too much time worrying about. Things you should’ve started sooner. Things nobody warns you about until you’re already balls-deep in adulthood wondering why nobody sent an instruction manual.

What’s one piece of advice you’d give your 29-year-old self knowing what you know now?

Hit me with the wisdom, mistakes, existential crises and cheat codes.

Just curious to hear how other in their 30s and up spend their Weekend. Are you out exploring, or just relaxing at home?

Would love to hear what your ideal weekend looks like!

**I’m in my 20s right now, and I feel like we always tell ourselves “there’s plenty of time” — whether it’s getting serious about our career, saving money, taking care of our health, traveling, finding the right person, or spending more time with family. For those of you who are 40+, what’s something you genuinely thought you had plenty of time for but later realized you didn’t?**

I don't know if it's just me, but lately I have been realizing that my 30s feel very different from what I imagined.

When I was younger, I thought by this age I'd have things figured out. Stable career, decent savings, a solid group of friends, maybe my own place, and some kind of clear direction in life.

Instead, it feels like I'm constantly maintaining things.

Work. Bills. Family. Health. Relationships. Trying to save money while still actually enjoying life. Trying to improve myself without being completly exhausted by the end of the day.

Maybe growing up isn't finally figuring everything out. Maybe it's just getting better at handling uncertainty.

For those of you, What's something about 30s that surprised you the most?