My 6-year-old brother has mild autism and I don’t know how to cope anymore.
Please, no judgment. I’m trying my best to understand him while also being honest about how hard this has been on me.
My (22F) little brother (6M) was clinically diagnosed with mild autism. He’s what I’d describe as “high-functioning” in terms of academics.. he’s actually advanced for his age and learns things very quickly. However, his doctor said his socialization skills are closer to those of a 4½-year-old, probably because he was a pandemic baby.
He goes to a regular school. As far as we know, he isn’t being bullied. His classmates are kind to him and often approach him to play. He can make friends and does play with other kids, but socially he’s still behind compared to his peers.
Every single morning is a battle. He doesn’t want to go to school, throws tantrums, cries, and sometimes repeatedly says “I hate you” when he’s upset. During his outbursts, he also becomes physically aggressive. He’ll hit, kick, scratch, or hurt whoever is trying to help him, and it can get really overwhelming. Once he calms down, he’s usually okay, but getting to that point is exhausting for everyone.
He also avoids eye contact most of the time. If you talk to him, he’ll often look away instead of at you. Even when taking pictures, he rarely looks at the camera.
One thing we’ve noticed is that gently brushing or rubbing his arms and legs seems to calm him down, so we sometimes do that during meltdowns.
He can have conversations, but they’re usually centered around his favorite football player. If you ask him about his day, he’ll answer, but only in bits and pieces instead of telling a full story.
What has been especially hard lately is how my parents handle his behavior. I know they’re doing their best and I understand that parenting an autistic child is incredibly difficult, but it feels like they’ve become so used to giving in or letting things slide just to avoid another meltdown. I understand why, but it’s getting to the point where it feels like there are almost no boundaries during his outbursts, especially when he starts hurting people. It leaves the rest of us feeling helpless, and honestly, resentful sometimes.
I love my brother so much, but I’m struggling. His behavior affects our entire household, and if I’m being honest, it affects my own life too. There are days when I get so overwhelmed that I just want to shut him out and avoid him completely.