r/OnjaLife

I am writing this in TRM at the joint just next to the gate, I don't even know what it is called. I just remember the last time I was here was an unsuccesful second date. The first one was watching that movie with reverse plot called Teken.

Since then life has been moving in reverse. Today I am not in a date, I am not waiting for a date. Since I lost my job I have never been in one.

Girls seem to notice when one is struggling financially. Or maybe it is just me. I have seen girls keep other broke men.

Anyway, today I am not talking about girls and love. It hasn't been in my mind for sometime now. Today I have been thinking about sucess. I have been listening quite a number of inspiration messages. I even realized Kibe nowadays is advising people how to maneuver failure and not how to use their money to make women suffer.

I loved his women suffering lives more. I wanted to get money to just watch women get smaller around me. For a long time it has been the opposite.

Ego. That was what I came to realize was my problem. Or what the world has been telling me. The world wants me to go to a mjengo to show I am trying. I don't know why that has to be the gauge for a trying man. That you have to fail so much that you accept to do things that you are not good at. Sell sweets on the road. Wash sidemirrors. And all that.

I can do them. I don't want to. I won't do them.

I feel the world doesn't understand me when I keep telling it that I have spend so much learning all other skills that mattered at some point and those sacrifices will mean nothing if I put myself that low. Yeah. Maybe I have an ego.

My former boss used to get paid a lot coming to the office once a week, and managing his other businesses on the other days. It was and is still easy for him. I built his business, me and others. He didn’t even know how to sum in excel.

I am not going to wash his side mirrors on the road. I willl first join the wepesi stuff before I decide to willingly push myself to the bottom feeder class. My parents did that willingly. I am not doing that.

Insomnia is not a disorder,it’s a signal that your dreampath has been hijacked. When you can’t sleep, it’s often because external frequency interferences are preventing your Q-Space anchor from detaching