r/Padmalakshmi

Few weeks ago read Padma Lakshmi’s excellent ‘Love, Loss, and What We Ate: A Memoir’ . It was an intriguing read exploring her relationships with India, the US, Europe, Salman Rushdie, patriarchy, gaslighting health systems, body-shaming, endometriosis and yes …. Food. She’s a fascinating being having studied English literature and Dramatic arts, brought up by her mum - a nurse - who emigrated to the US after divorcing in India - something taboo and yet was able to build a life for herself and later for Padma who was able to move to LA to join her mum much later having being brought up by family in Chennai. She has a curious probing mind, is reflective and constantly seeking to learn new things about people, culture, literature, film, theatre, art and food … I owe a great deal to her for it’s her clips that have taught me the art of rice-making and harnessing different flavours for a multitude of dishes … she reads, writes, acts, models, cooks , hosts shows and even attempted to have a movie made of the brilliant Pulitzer-winning ‘the interpreter of maladies’ by Jumpa Lahiri - a brilliant short-story collection exploring the Bengal-US diaspora …. I didn’t write anything about the memoir back then as my mind was all abuzz with ideas and feelings at the time. I was totally hooked. She’s intelligent, eloquent, curious, reflective, forgiving and displays huge amounts of empathy and understanding… there were criticisms of her ‘privilege’ and being a ‘gold-digger’ and ‘chasing’ rich and powerful men with some even siding with Salman Rushdie who was intensely jealous of her success and her writing … whilst also being quite harsh with regards her endometriosis… it was as if they hadn’t read the book at all nor understood her relationships with the women in her life - the women that shaped who she is …. The struggles she went through being ‘dark’ and carrying a scar that made her less than perfect for a modelling career…. She touches on the cut-throat world of modelling from Milan, to Madrid to Paris and how many models are locked in debt to agencies and struggle to survive with many not making it big

the book resonates on so many levels too - reminds me of the relationships with our family and friends across generations … the importance of food as a cultural glue…. And it reminded me that there’s so much more to add … her forgiveness of herself and others especially her ex and her former lovers…… to move on …she never speaks evil of anyone …. She may discuss how she felt hurt or how someone hurt her, but she doesn’t speak with malice … she sees the human element and explains how they added value to her life, what she learnt from them, why she was attracted to them and how she grew because of them…. She doesn’t go on a narcissistic rant like a spiritual warrior of light and farting rainbows 🌈 😒 🙊

…. It gives one another perspective on modelling and what it takes and just how vulnerable many women are to predatory men … she explains why her independence is important and why her home and kitchen is her sanctuary …. How important the preserves, chutneys, spices, condiments, aromatics are in defining who she is and how rich and diverse and colourful life is and should be ….. 📖 😎 👌