[RF] The pain within
He was around seventeen years old when he began to feel that inner pain while wandering through those hallways. It was already his final year in that place… in that little hell he had called school for so long.
Every morning, he walked with his head down and tired eyes. He felt eyes fixed on him, whispers, and even mocking laughter that made him wish he could stay home and never go out again. But running away had never been a word that defined him.
There was a boy from another class whom we will call Lucas. He was a year younger than him. The kind of person who always talked about others, though never in a good way. Curiously, he was the kind of person everyone seemed to like; he fit perfectly into the stereotype of the popular guy.
He did not particularly stand out in school. He had terrible grades and was always surrounded by students who seemed to have no idea what to do with their lives. They only talked about girls, motorcycles, drugs, and other people’s flaws.
They watched everyone, searching for flaws, insecurities… anything that could become a reason for mockery. They wanted to make others feel small in order to feel superior, to feel powerful.
And he was no exception.
A teenager who overthought everything, shy, with few friends, who only tried to fit in and go unnoticed… was the perfect target.
They searched for something in him that could make him feel vulnerable, something that would give them power over his mind. And the only thing they found was something truly stupid… something only people without empathy, empty on the inside, would make fun of.
One day, like any other, he walked through that horrible hallway and heard a fake laugh… a laugh filled with malice, a laugh overflowing with hatred.
They had found something in him they considered worthy of mockery. They began to imitate the way he spoke, every sound, every gesture… they did it with cruel precision, only to burst into laughter afterward.
From that moment on, his life began to change drastically in that place.
At first, he tried not to pay attention. He convinced himself that those words did not matter.
And for a while, they truly did not affect him.
But when a group mocks someone every day, at every moment, in every corner… even the strongest person can begin to break.
Every time he heard them talking among themselves, his heart raced. His body trembled just from seeing Lucas’s silhouette in the distance.
Without realizing it, he developed an irrational fear of groups. He thought they were always talking about him, laughing at him, judging him.
His life began to fall apart.
He never told his mother what was happening. He always tried to appear indifferent to the mockery, even though inside he was devastated, drained, feeling like someone with no value.
He became a deeply insecure person.
He had always been reserved, but he had never been afraid to socialize. However, now it was no longer that he did not want to… it was that he was afraid of being hurt again.
He spent almost six months without leaving his home.
He did not want to go out and have fun like any other teenager. He did not even want to go to the local store. He became rebellious, addicted to social media, consumed by a fear of people he could not even describe.
But one day, after so much time locked away, without talking to anyone, and spending almost all his time in front of a computer, he gathered enough courage.
He decided he could not keep living like that.
He could not allow someone to steal his life.
He had to face it.
He left his house.
There was a soccer match in the town square.
He was determined to face those inner fears that were consuming him.
He remembered walking while trembling. His heart was pounding, his hands were sweating, and at times negative thoughts flooded his mind.
He felt the urge to turn back and lock himself away again.
But he kept going.
This time, those thoughts would not stop him.
When he arrived, Lucas was there… and so were his friends.
There were about seven of them.
At first, they did not notice him.
He sat next to an acquaintance we will call Pedro. He was a young man who neither studied nor seemed too concerned about his future, but he was one of the few people who had never judged him and who treated him like a true friend.
He spent quite some time talking with him.
Little by little, he began to feel comfortable…
Until one of them noticed him.
And in an instant, all his courage disappeared.
They were about seven meters away, and in the middle of all the noise from the match… he heard that fake voice once again.
The voice that had stolen his integrity.
The voice that had stolen his peace of mind.
It was probably one of the days he suffered the most internally.
All he wanted was to run away.
To lock himself in his house.
To disappear.
But he tried to remain firm, as if nothing mattered.
Even though, deep down, he was probably the most broken person in that place.
And the most painful part was not the mockery.
It was seeing his younger brother and his cousin laughing… enjoying his misery without the slightest remorse.
Pain is not always physical.
Sometimes, the deepest wounds are the ones no one can see.
There were nights when ceasing to exist seemed easier than continuing to feel.
His only refuge in that gray place was a classmate who noticed his pain.
Not even his family realized it.
But that little blonde girl did.
And without exaggeration… she saved him.
She was probably the only person he truly considered a friend.
When he talked to her in some corner of the school, he felt peace.
His mind disconnected from the world.
For a few moments, everything else stopped mattering.
It was never romantic love.
It could not be described in such a superficial way.
It was something much deeper.
Much more human.
Without her, he would never have been able to overcome that bitter stage.
It was a dark year.
A year that left scars.
He graduated with the highest grades and entered university the following year.
But even though he had improved a lot, the ghosts of the past continued to haunt him.
More than once, he thought that perhaps he should seek professional help.
Because even years later, although he no longer returned to that school, every time he visited that town… he still felt an irrational fear running through his entire body.
He held no hatred toward those who had hurt him.
Nor toward the school itself.
He had also found good friendships there, in the middle of so much malice.
Today, he was about to finish university.
He had moved away from that small town that had been a prison for his thoughts for so long.
Sometimes he returned to visit his parents, and although the wounds were still there… they no longer bled as they once did.
He still tried not to cross paths with some people from his past.
The fear still existed…
But it no longer controlled his life.
Changing environments helped him more than he had ever imagined.
He met new people.
People who do not look for flaws.
Who do not judge.
Who simply listen.
And that was when he understood something…
Bullying may seem like a simple game to some.
A passing joke.
A meaningless laugh.
But for others…
It can become a wound that follows them for years.
An invisible wound.
The kind no one sees…
But one that is never forgotten.