r/RedditForCats

It is 1:30 in the morning.

I have just returned from a successful hunting expedition. Spring turkey season is happening here in Oregon, and let me tell you something — if a turkey literally fell dead into Dad’s lap, that man would still somehow come home empty handed. The coyotes at my grandparents house contribute more to this household than he does.

Naturally, after carrying this family on my tiny striped shoulders, I try to bee-line for the bedroom to begin my sacred nighttime self-care routine. Bath. Reflection. Licking my own butt in peace. The usual.

Then Mom starts in with her “Oh come here my sweet babyyyyy,” while absolutely demolishing what appears to be HALF a family-size pack of Oreos she supposedly bought “for camping.”

Mom. You ARE the wildlife.

I ignore her, because I have standards, and head directly for my king-size oasis — MY BED. MY PILLOW. MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT BLANKET.

I am MID-LICK when this woman has the audacity to climb into MY SPOT and place her Oreo-scented head directly onto MY PILLOW like she pays rent here.

I give her my strongest “what the fuck do you think you’re doing”

stare.

Does she listen?

No.

Because my humans have the survival instincts of a decorative gourd.

AND THEN — as if things could not get any worse— Dad walks in carrying my enormous black void brother like they’re starring in some family sitcom.

This 'fat Batman'-looking idiot is purring, making biscuits, acting like we’re the Brady Bunch in this bitch while I’m actively trying to process this home invasion.

Now they are ALL in MY BED.

Dad’s snoring.

Mom smells like Oreos and regret.

The void is spread across half the mattress like a freshly beached orca.

And I am currently sitting in the doorway contemplating whether it’s too late to become feral.

Ok so my male cat is getting old and my other cat just had her second batch of kittens which was three this time rather then one like last time so she’s more angry and aggressive to my female dog who is really reckless and energetic since she’s a puppy and like to try and play with my other cats but they don’t like that especially my older cat cuz he’s always been a more secluded do my own thing cat anyway after my cat had her kittens and got mean and my cats other kitten(I kept her first one since it was just one) and my dog is always messing with him he’s gotten clingy like laying under my blanket cuddling me and not moving no matter what like if I roll over a few times he’s just adjusted and got comfy again other then that he leaves and come back later and just wants to be near me but it’s only when I’m in my room other then that he’s downstairs and I’m really worried cuz he’s my first cat like ever and he’s 6 almost 7 and whenever I look it up it says to take him to the vet cuz he’s dying but me and my family don’t have money so I’m trying to stay calm but I’m super scared cuz I’ve had nothing but bad luck this year and last year so I need your guys help also sorry if this is all over the place and for any typos I’m just really stressed and scared I can go back and fix it if you guys need me to but I can’t right now please help me tho anything is good